Mother in Law is coming into town for 2 weeks from California to visit. I have knots in my stomach already knowing what is going to happen. Last time she was in town spoiled rotten s.d. drove me more nuts than she already does. Everything I would tell her from go to bed to no eating on furniture she would blow me off. Deliberately disobeying me because her Grandma was there. If I told her to go to bed she would ask grandma can I stay awake and watch a movie with you. If I said you can not eat on the furniture she would say my grandma said I can. It is bad enough my wife does not back me up with the sd but add in the mom in law and it just got multiplied by a factor of two. My s.d is so out of control it is not even funny. I am at the point now as rotten as this sounds where I absolutely can not stand her, being around her, in a car with her or in the same room. I secretely jump for joy when she is not home then cringe with anxiety when she returns home. She is 10 going on 30 and my wife treats her as such. When she is not home the house is quite clean and drama free. The minute she is back home all hell breaks loose. She knows what pushes my buttons and will go out of her way to do it. She fancies herself a little princess adult and my wife treats her as such from her 3 closet wardrobe to her 150 buck a month dance classess. All at yours trulys expense. I already warned my wife the second your mom arrives and sd starts her crap I am packing a suitcase and leaving until she is gone. My wife reassured me she allegedly and I do say allegedly told sd she will not disobey when grandma is in town and go balistic. I have got this lip service and speech before and do not expect this visit to be any different. Say a prayer for me. maybe I should just pack a suitcase now. Ha Ha.

Not to be Mr. Negativity but since the MIL arrived for her two week visit. Things have gone exactly as I expected, bad. The first night she arrived spoiled rotten I demand your constant attention sd started her crap. SD announced grandma would exclusively be sleeping in her roon and her room only and her brother my ss could not sleep with them. SS began his fake vommitting tyrate until he actually made himself puke while sd yelled at him to shut up. During the mellee they then spilled an entire bottle of cough syrup ( bright red ) onto the new carpet. Of course I had to step in and be the adult. My wife as always did nothing but stand there with a dumbfounded look on her face. Saturday night they all slept over my sister in laws house thank God ! SIL brought skids back Sunday morning and told my wife and I sd was out of control. She stayed up until 130 a.m. harrassing her grandma and accussing her of favoring her 4 year old cousin instead of her. Like I said in my above post she needs constant attention. SIL also said she was doing the same crap at her house she does at ours, getting into stuff after repeatedly being told not to. Picking fights with her cousins out of jealousy when they would get grandmas attention. Arguing with adults when being told what to do and hanging around them trying to put her 10 going on 30 attitude into their conversations. My wifes reaction ? Oh Uh I will talk to her. My SIL said talk to her ?! You need to whip her a... ! I dont ever want to over again ! My wife then said to sd Honey we will talk later. Sd instantly made her superficial fake sad face and then my wife said its okay your not in trouble honey but we will talk. That was the end of it right there. My wife is so emotionally manipulated by her own daughter she is afraid to so much as raise her voice to her. She is spoiled rotten and behavior worse by the day and wife just cant figure out why she wont listen. I told her it is simple because she doesnt have to. Their are zero boundaries or consequences for her unruly behavior. She fancies herself a little adult and is treated as such by her mom. Sd then spent the rest of the afternoon being a b.... from hell. Taunting her 4 year old cousin running her mouth saying you are spoiled etc. etc. My sd is also a little control freak. She expects her mom to explain every move she makes. When other children are visiting and eating, playing a game etc she has to have 100 percent control of the situation. She will dictate to everyone where to sit and what to do. If anyone dares defy her they receive the nastiest tongue lashing you could imagine from a ten year old. She also kept coming by the adults that stopped by to visit Mil and tried to play little adult puting her two cents into adult conversations. She even went as far as to offer legal advice to one of her Uncles that was complaining of some current lawsuit. Mom did not say a word and of course I was ignored and given a dirty look from her every time I told her to leave the room and go play with the other children. Oh well two more weeks and MIL will be gone maybe I will get lucky and she will take sd to California with her.

Since my Mil has arrived from out of town for a 2 week visit my household has been H... I am at the point where I do not even want to come home from work. My skids did exactly what I told my wife they would do. They feel because Mil or their grandma is in town they can get away with anything and sadly it is true. I told my wife I not her have worked very hard to establish rules in our household and do not want MIL undermining them. The other night went something like this. I came home from work and wife I and sd had to run to office store to fax some papperwork. Sd went into her normal attention seeking routine. Sd began chewing snack crackers as loud as humanly possible and animated the entire routine by telling everyone in the store how much she is enjoying her snack as well as myself ten times. It went chomp, chomp, crunch, crunch. yum these are good !! over and over. She then paraded around the store seeking more attention trying to balance a poster board on her head and saying look at me I can eat and balance this at the same time. My wifes reaction as always ? Nothing, she feeds right into it. She then on the ride home kept laughing at the top of her lungs as I conversed with my wife about a funny incident that occured at my job that day. This kid has to have constant attention and will do anything for it. When we arrived home it was 10 p.m. 2 hours past their bedtime enforced by me. I told them to go to bed and sd and ss instantly burst into fake tears. SS began demanding and I do mean demanding I immediately sketch his poster for a book report that was not due for days. I said that is not a priority now it is bedtime. Louder tears ! MIL cut in and said he does not have to go to bed. My wife cowardly said well it is past their bed time and then instantly backed off when sd and ss started arguing with her. When I once again said bed time they said we are hungry. Of course MIL fell for the b.s never mind the fact they just had dinner less than an hour ago. The two of them sat their eating gloating while sd gave me this How do you like that I got my way look ? Since MIL has been in town there behavior has regressed backwards to that of a couple of 2 year olds. My wife said I dont get it they are good in school. I said well at school there are consequences for bad behavior but at home there are not. I would never never hit someone elses kids but that night I really wanted to. I told my wife they are both nearly ten years overdue for an a.. whipping. My wife never backs me up, never disciplines and is afraid of her own kids especially her emotionally manipulative ten y/o girl. When my bio kids were young I disciplined by spanking they are now well behaved teen age boys. We have been to counseling several times but it does not help because my wife walks out of there goes home and does nothing the Doc suggest in regards to controling my skids. We are expecting a bio child in less than 2 months. I finally told wife I do not want the baby to be anything like your kids, manipulating, selfish, argumentative and so on. I told her that is why I need to gain control of our household now.

Thanks Evilism and Mustang you both made very valid points. I have told my wife that I should be able to take a back seat to the disciplining and just be a support mechanism for her. But as you said it is easier for her to just let the brat sd do as she pleases. I have tried counseling, having family memebers talk to her and even tried ignoring the situation and letting her deal with them. The end result of that is things just become worse for me. Her kids wont bathe for a week, the house gets torn apart, things broke, and they will stay up late just because I am not enforcing anything. The end result is money being spent fixing the crap they break, me not having a minutes privacy with my wife because they are up way late and me spending my one and only day off a week fixing and cleaning their crap. This weekend was the last straw for me. I coordinated a baby shower for my wife and all hell broke loose the day of it. SD took it upon herself to rearrange photos in our house after being told 7 times to not touch them and me putting them back where they were. She just couldnt comply and kept moving them. It is the control freak in her. She then announced she would handle the decorating and I told her no. her nonsense went on all day and everytime I said something to her she would give me a look that could kill. I then caught her getting into my wifes make up which after having to scrub red nail polish off new carpet told her she is forbidden to touch it unsupervised. I also hid it and the fact that she found it just tells me she is still snooping in stuff that is not hers. When the company arrived she started her attention seeking antics. I told her as well as the other visiting children to go play. Everyone complied but her. In fact she turned around and said yeah all you kids go play then parked herself at her Moms side. I told her guess what ? When I said that it included you as well, you are not an adult despite the fact you are ten and think your 30. Yet again another dirty evil look from her. I asked my wife to come upstairs so we could speak in private. I told her I dont want to rain on your parade today but I have had it with sd. I told her I do not want to have anything to do with her. I said I have tried and tried for almost two years without any help from you and the problem would virtually stop overnight if you had backed me up. I told wife I want nothing more than for sd to turn 18 and get the H.... out of our house. Her reaction the next day wife put on the phoniest act ever making lame threaths to ground and spank my sd and ss. Everything she said to them she made sure I was in earshot and it was said not to teach them but to try to somehow impress me. The day after that ? Right back to the same crap. this is probaly horrible to say but I honestly hate and depise my sd, I cant stand her. The very counselor we went to said she is conciously doing this stuff and very emotionally manipulating. It is funny because a lot of the posts I have read on this site and single Moms I have spoke with tell me they wish to God they had someone like me to pose as a father figure and help with their kids. Not my wife she wants an adult friend for her kids that kissess their a.. and allows them to do whatever they want like she does. I told her sd will make her a grandma before she turns 18 when she decides to start doing things to get teen age boys attention like she seeks from her Mom. I feel so trapped and in my heart I know it probaly will never change. If we did not have a bio child coming I would file for a divorce like yesterday. My biggest fear is our bio child that accordding to the ultra sound is a girl would end up like sd.