Hi there! Sorry but this is a bit long. I'm trying to give as much Information as I can to better improve your understanding so I can get better advice.  I'm looking for advice to help my step son. My husband and I have been together for 2.5 years. I've been a  part of my step sons life since he was 4. He is now almost 7. I have 2 children from a previous marriage and my husband and I have a baby together. My step sons mother is a hero in addict. She lost all legal rights to him last summer when she went to prison for 9 months for grand larceny.  He has seen a lot. My husband is in the military. When he was deployed in 2015 he was in the process of divorcing his now ex wife. During this time and until she got arrested in 2016 my stepson saw a lot of things he shouldnt. He was forced to watch porn because his older half brother wanted to (older brother was 8 at the time). His old brother made him perform oral sex on him. He was besten and bullied by him. His mother offered him the heroin needle. He watched her overdose  he watched her shoot up with her many boyfriends.  We found out in 2016 that she had been arrested.  My husband filed for sole custody of his son and during the time my step son lived with his maternal grand parents and older half brother.  This court battle went on and on. Last summer he (step son) came home to us and told us his older brother had choked him to the point he couldn't see or breathe. He also said his brother had threatened him with a knife and wished he was dead.  My husband acquired emergency custody. The first few months were rough. We were told by the judge to not allow any contact between him and his maternal family (his mom was in prison but had the right to call or write and did have the information to do so). He came home with flea bites that covered his body he had a horrendous rash across his chest and on his genitalia. He would poop his pants every single day "because I want to" and pee his bed every night "because I didn't want to get out of bed" he would lie about absolutely everything. He had forgotten his baseball glove outside not a big deal I asked him where it was he said my daughter took it from him.. we got to the truth of the situation I made him bring the glove inside and he sat in time out for lying. Finally he stopped lying. He stopped pooping his pants and peeing his bed. We got him into therapy. He was doing great. High marks in school. Adjusted very well after 3 months of living with us.

Fast forward 6 months. His mom gets out of prison. It took her 2 weeks to even contact us (we didn't know she'd been released her parents told us that she was serving 3 years which turned out to be 9 months). The second he started talking to her all the behavior came back 10 times worse. He stole $300 out of my purse and tried to give It to his teacher for ice cream at school. Lord that was a mess. He started pooping his pants again because he started having supervised visits with his mom again. My step son asked usbto notnhave his older brother there so we told her she couldn't bring her older son to these visits because they are meant for her to spend time with my step son and we don't think it's in his best interest. She brings him anyway. So my step starts with the lying again and the peeing his bed and now peeing his pants. The pooping his pants. Mind you he hadn't had an accident since September of 2017 (7 months). He started back in with peeing all over the bathroom floor. He has nightmares of his mom locking him In a cage and beating him he has nightmares of his brother sexually assaulting him. He is scared of them but he has a loyalty complex. His mother has initiated contact maybe twice. Any other contact was either my husband or myself initiating it. She will make plans and the not even show up. For example she was upposed fo visit last week. She didnt even get back to me about the visit until 2 days after she was supposed to come see him. She said she was sick with strep throat. She told my step son the medication she took. Its not even the right medication it was a blood pressure medication (im an rn so i see it all the time). I just want to help him. He's still in therapy but what can we do at home?