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Skids destructive behaviour

Mumofsix22's picture

Submitted by Mumofsix22 on Mon, 09/11/2023 - 3:03am

Forums: 
Blended Family Issues

Good morning all,

how do we deal with Skids who destroy my bio child's things? 
 

there's been some jewellery of mine that was broken over the years and some of my daughters things. Recently some bits like a mirror and pens that she kept in a bag which she cried about (she's 8). Then this morning I noticed a photograph of her and me and my partner and his daughter from our holiday this summer that was on her shelf and she had scratched out my daughters face. 
 

if I try to talk about it to OH he doesn't have a solution other than "what did you do first" spoke to my parent who's attitude is "well they're kids" so where does that leave me as her primary caregiver? 

Harry's picture

Submitted by Harry on Mon, 09/11/2023 - 10:19am

Then SD gets punished..  If SO doesn't like it.  He finds  another caregiver.  He can't have jt both ways  doing nothing and excepting others to do nothing too.  You have a SO problem first. 

Survivingstephell's picture

Submitted by Survivingstephell on Mon, 09/11/2023 - 1:27pm

Early on I had similar issue.  DH didn't really understand it until something of HIS got wrecked.  You do have a man problem.  

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Mon, 09/11/2023 - 1:32pm

It's not abnormal for things to happen with kids.. stuff gets broken.. kids are taught about respecting others belongings.. given consequences.. apologizing.. replacing item etc..

I would have a different feeling on intentional vs accidental destruction.  A scratched out face on a personal photo is imho worse than being careless with a pen.  Your DH should be giving his child some consequence for that... losst screen time and loss of other benefit or privelege.. also be made to apologize to the victim..

Stepdrama2020's picture

Submitted by Stepdrama2020 on Mon, 09/11/2023 - 2:41pm

Go full on savage and damage theirs.

Only kidding..kind of sort of.

Seriously you take care of it. Dont leave it to DH their defender.

Show no mercy. Call them out on it.

notarelative's picture

Submitted by notarelative on Mon, 09/11/2023 - 3:36pm

if I try to talk about it to OH he doesn't have a solution other than "what did you do first" 

You have a major OH problem. 

simifan's picture

Submitted by simifan on Thu, 09/14/2023 - 8:12am

I would give your SO a choice of two ways to handle it. Either he punishes his child or both children get carte blanche and you won't be paying for anything BD breaks in retaliation. Then I'd tell BD "you take down the bully by hitting hard & fast"  and for her to destroy SD's favorite item & do this until she stops destroying BD's things. 

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Tue, 09/12/2023 - 11:01am

Or.... plant her toxic little ass in a corner with her nose holding the intersecting walls together and she can stay there.

Nor your monkey, not your circus. 

Let daddy deal with his toxic spawn giving him no choice but to do so.

Let him know that her toxic bullshit will no longer be tolerated and you will ensure that she lives a life of escalating age appropriate abject misery if he does not fix his failed family spawn.

Nea