Please help! Stepsons abusing my daughter!
Hello all...I have 2 step sons, 9 and 11. And I have 1 biological daughter (16 months old) with my Husband. We've been together 4 years and it has been an EXTREMELY tough road for us...I actually wish I had never gotten pregnant because then I could've left this mess behind me. But what's done is done. Anyways, my step sons are extremely damaged individuals..both from the divorce of their parents and their moms negligence among other things. My 9 year old step son has been caught looking up very obscene porn...like how to rape girls and how to have "sex with my mother". You get my drift...Anyway, a few weeks ago I went into the kitchen to make dinner...The kids were playing in the living room. It got quiet so I went to see what happened...my 9 year old stepson was sitting indian style bobbing my daughters head in his lap. He had pants on, but it was clear what he was doing!!! I immediately went bonkers! He claims he was just kidding around! turns out he took her sippy cup and put it between his legs so she would grab it..And once she got close he started to bob her head because he thought it "looked funny"! I pulled my Husband aside and told him, but he claims his son didn't mean for it to be sexual because hes only 9 years old. We saw his porn history so I KNOW it wasnt innocent! My Husband is in denial! Then today, my 11 year old step son was playing with my daughter...and he out of nowhere, snatched the cracker she was eating...put it in the back of his pants (IN HIS UNDERWEAR!) farted on it and then put it back in her mouth! He thought it was funny and didnt know what the big deal was because "it's not like I pooped on it or anything!". I'm literally beside myself! I'm so close to getting child abuse charges because I fear for the safety of my daughter more than i care for these screwed up children". My Fiance feels immense guilt about how his sons' lives have turned out so hes careful not to hurt their feelings. However I have HAD it. What would anyone else do in this situation? We have full custody because the boys' mother is a TRAINWRECK. And I cant help but feel like its gonna screw up my daughter. HELP!
And please dont judge me, I have been through HELL with these kids..But I have to look out for my OWN kid, too.
What can I do?!!!
You're not married. Take your
You're not married. Take your baby and leave. When Dad gets around to wanting his 'visitation' rights, be sure you show clear grounds for supervised visitation only. His boys are a threat to the baby and Dad isn't trustworthy of protecting her from them.
You watched the boy: Take the
You watched the boy:
Take the cracker
Put it in his underwear
Fart on said cracker
Put the the fart flavored cracker into your baby's mouth
How in the world to you watch all of that and nit do anything to stop it???? I can't any kid getting past step 1, let alone all the way to step 4 with an adult present.
It all happened so fast, I
It all happened so fast, I was just in shock because i've never seen my stepson do something like that. I freaked OUT!
The reason I'm hesitant to leave with my daughter is because at some point we'll end up with joint custody...and it scares me to think of them doing something to her and Im not there to stop it!
You need to do yourself a big
You need to do yourself a big big favor and leave, never look back. My stepsons abused my daughters also. They boys were 5 & 7 when I met them and there was definitely issues there. The oldest was very much interested in sexual stuff early on and I saw his interest in my daughter. I spoke o my daughter but my husband did not speak to his son. It really messed up my daughter, blame was pointed in every direction. It became very twisted sort of like the Duggard situation and my oldest who endured the most ended up being the most protective of who she claimed abused her and blamed me for not being attentive enough as a parent. My husband understood his sons' desires and blamed my daughters for their interest, saying it was more mutual than my daughter admitted to. So these situations get really out of control with no one wanting to take responsibility, it splits families and causes years of damage.
My SS who was accused of abusing my daughter just recently became a step father to two small children, one of which is a little girl. I cringed when I heard his girlfriend had children.
Protect your daughter and run. Abusers are very sneaky and in most cases lie to hide the trail of their behavior. A victim will be a victim over and over again and you will never know the truth.
(No subject)
:jawdrop:
Leave as soon as you possibly
Leave as soon as you possibly can. Contact a lawyer and find out what you need to do now to start laying the groundwork to keep him from ever getting unsupervised visits.
Get some legal advise. I
Get some legal advise. I suggest collecting evidence of everything to make sure your DH can't get custody of your daughter AT ALL. Once that is taken care of you can take your daughter and leave.
He has already demonstrated that he can and WILL put the baby at risk of more sexual abuse. He should not get ANY custody whatsoever.
Well, the sensitive side of
Well, the sensitive side of me .... fuck that shit. Beat those little bastards to within an inch of their miserable POS lives and tell their father that if either of them ever even thinks about laying hands on your daughter again that they and he will rue the day they were born. Daddy needs to step up and protect his baby girl from toxic assholes even if those POS assholes are his sons.
Holly shit. I can't even imagine the consequences that would have befallen me had I treated my two younger brothers as your POS SS's treat your daughter. I would still be twitching from the memories of those consequences and I am 51 years old. That your DH tolerates this is puke worthy and that he justifies it and makes excuses for his POS crotch pukes makes him a complete write off in my eyes.
Beat em. Firmly, and often until they catch a clue. Or better yet. Kick this POS idiot and his spawn out of your home and your children's lives.
IMHO of course.
So what exactly do you
So what exactly do you disagree with?
I'm not buying that. All of
I'm not buying that. All of us would have gone off on the kid when he first took the cracker from the baby. No way the whole thing would have played out WHILE WE SAT THERE WATCHING.
First, the cracker incident.
First, the cracker incident. Disgusting? Yep. Gross? Sure. But abusive? Nope. You can add me to the list of sisters who were farted on by their brothers. My older brother got spanked every time he did it, but nobody was walking around calling me a victim of abuse.
Second - the porn and the sippy cup. THIS is disturbing. THIS is how child molesters are created. Take your kid and get OUT! Stop talking to us and go. Now. Right now. Call the police and/or CPS and report it. AFTER you get out.
Why is your baby girl left in
Why is your baby girl left in the company of these 2 hoodlums!!! WTH is wrong with you. Keep you baby with you at all times and tell those boys to not come within 5 ft of her until you can sort your head out.
Create an exit plan and execute is ASAP. Things will get much worse for your little girl before they get better. It is your job to protect her. Obviously your DH has a conflict of interest here and cannot put her first. He is a dickwad too for allowing this disgusting behaviour.
I can hardly believe you are sitting at a computer looking for advice when it is clear you need to get the hell out of there - like yesterday.
Help all around
You and your daughter need to get out fast. Your husband is in denial and can't/won't protect his daughter. However, your step-sons need help as well. It sounds like they may have been sexually abused. This will NOT get better by ignoring it and pretending it is no big deal.