How do you do it?
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How do I disengage? Ive been reading stepmonster..good book. However DH wants to make sure I'm there doing everything with him being a part of it..I've changed my bio kids weekends so that SS comes on the opposite weekend now so my kids don't have to see me so stressed out when SS6 is here. However I've tried the disengage and it turns into a fight because I'm not spending time with him and SS...help..DH knows I cannot stand his son...yet still pushes.
When I began disengaging I
When I began disengaging I did it very gradually, so that it was hardly apparent to my DH. My younger SD always used to sabotage outings with the four of us (2 SDs, me and DH), and even my DH could see that. So I just started saying - "maybe the 3 of you would enjoy some time together - why don't you take the girls to XYZ, my dear?"
You have to be a bit diplomatic and wily about it. Do it so that it seems to him that you are being generous and allowing them one on one time together - which IS in fact what you are doing.
Arrange something for yourself on SKID weekends, and say to DH "oh, I hope you don't mind, darling, I've got a hair appointment - however maybe you and SS could do such and such".
If he and his son like football or whatever, and you don't, this would be an ideal time for father and son bonding ON THEIR OWN!