So many issues..is it a loosing battle?
I don't know what to do anymore. it seems all dh & i do is fight lately. we went for a long walk yesterday so we could talk...pointless. I have a problem with my in-laws and sil hanging out with Bm...inviting her to family functions. It's thier drinking buddy.
Ss8 is the golden boy who poops rainbows to them but they barely see our son...thier other bio grandson. This weekend is bm's weekend... We were going with our bs to his brothers to swim...dh informed me he's bringing ss....I got upset and told him bs and I aren't going since he can't spend a day with just us. And...he pays cs for ss& his stepson..but his stepson just turned 18& graduated and is not going to post secondary.. So cs should end by the court order..he's still paying it..said Bm told him until sept...wtf..it doesn't work that way. He barely contributes to our household between his cs and bankruptcy there isn't much so he's throwing away $300 to her for 3 months she's not entitled.... I feel like its me against him and his family
He's being a crappy partner
He's being a crappy partner and his family has inappropriate boundaries. It hurts when one grandchild is clearly favored over another. I'm sorry you are in this position.
What you do have control over is not covering any shortage of his. If he chooses to pay CS which is really spousal support at this time, you should not use your money. I had to tell my DH that I considered CS to be spousal support after CS is legally done. And if he wanted to support another woman, then he needed to go move back into the house he gave her. It lit a fire under his butt and he got filed to end CS. Btw, make sure you don't have to have a court order to end CS. Even if it specifically states in the order, some states require a formal filing to end CS.
You can't control your in laws but you don't have to be anywhere you don't want to be or that is not a good environment for your child. Let them have BM'S drunk arse and avoidance interactions where she will be present.
Only you know if it's a loosing battle. I'm for evening the plating field : have an exit strategy and start getting the means together. That way you feel strong enough to express what you want, and most importantly, what you need.
Sounds like the age old issue
Sounds like the age old issue that he would rather placate BM than make the new wife happy.
Wow...thanks for telling me
Wow...thanks for telling me I'm ridiculous... Unbelievable. I did deal with the cs in May....got him all the papers to end in June..Bm told him she wants until end of August even though she is not entitled... He didn't argue. I know I can't control my in-laws..but expecting my son thier bio grandson to be treated equal is not ridiculous I think.
^^^^^ this is actually good
^^^^^ this is actually good advice ^^^^^^
Some of my inlaws have never even met my bios with dh, yet never miss a beat with skids. You know what, I wouldn't want them anywhere near my bios anyways. But in my situation dh has cut them out of his life. Not because I have asked him to, but because he has is too busy focusing on his family with me.
Your dh needs to realize that you will be raising a family together and will hopefully be together for the rest of your lives. His ties to mommy and daddy should not take precedence before you.
But please know that even if he cuts them out of his life, they will still have a good relationship with skid due to bm. The simple solution to that is you don't let your kid feel like an imposition and keep your kid around those who love the child.
Another thing, all grandkids are not treated equally. Kids can have the same parents and a grandparent may feel closer to a certain grandkids.
As for the money issue, wtf! He actually was paying for an ex stepson. I don't have any advice there. I would have some major resentment over that.