So frustrated!

SS9 is a brat. Plain and simple. Here is just a small list of what I have to deal with regarding this kid:

-Loud all the time (normal people talk at let's say a level 4 - this kid, a constant - regardless of where he is.
-Talks back all the time
-Argues with parents about everything
-Has anger issues - yells at people, slams doors, stomps feet
-Lies about everything - bad grades at school, where he got gum (stole it from sibling - said he got it out of dads car), school projects, doing things he's not supposed to do
-Sneaky (constantly listening in on conversations other people are having in other parts of the house - he will hide and try to hear things)
-Disruptive (letters from his teacher have been sent home) in school, home and social situations

And the list goes on and on..

The worst part is that his father looks right past all of this for the most part.

Last night SK9 asked if he could get on the computer to see if he could look up how to get past a level on his DS game. I said fine, no problem. About 30 minutes later I walk by him and he's sitting at the desk, playing his DS, so I go about my business and just make a mental note of how long he's been playing. Bear in mind it's like 6:45pm and he had already played video games for about an hour already that day.

So, at about 7:30, I say (while sitting on the couch with his father) "hey, I think it's time for you to wrap up the video games, bud - you have played enough for one day"... well, 5, 10, 30 minutes go by (and don't think I didn't notice he never stopped playing) and we hear a "ughhhh!' from the room where he is playing.. and his dad finally says "hey, turn off the game - didn't she tell you that already?" (I'm thinking "yea, like 30 minutes ago")

So SK9 walks into the room and says "no, I thought she told me to get off the computer"... OMG - LIAR! I spoke up and said "you were off the computer and on your DS almost and HOUR ago - I saw you sitting in the chair playing your DS... don't lie to your father and I." He knew good and well that he was told to wrap up his video games. Why would I tell him to "wrap up playing" the computer when he wasn't playing the computer?

The thing is - this kid does this crap constantly. Lies and pretends he didn't understand what you told him to do or plays dumb to get out of something.

Then his father runs out to grab a gallon of milk. I go into the kitchen to empty the dishwasher and clean up before we put the kids to bed (which is thankfully in about 45 minutes).. well I see SK9 check to see what I'm doing and then go into his room.. I hear him climb onto his bunk bed (it's a metal framed bed and it squeaks).. Now, this kid had ADHD and doesn't just climb into bed. Every night, bedtime is an issue - so is the simple act of sitting still (unless he's playing a video game)..

I listen for a while and hear not a peep coming from his room.. so I go in and say "why are you in bed early".. it scared the crap out of him. I see he has the covers up and I'm like "what are you doing".. his reply is "just laying in bed".. So I ask "where's your DS?"... he stammers and is like "uhh.. uhmmm,,,, it's uh.. right here"... well, look at that.. he has it in bed, under the covers!!! I say "hand it to me".. I flip it open and it's PAUSED.. Not turned off, but PAUSED!!

I was pissed! 2 lies in one night... less than an hour apart.. WTF

So his dad gets home and I tell him what happened. He goes and talks to him and SK9 feeds him some BS story about him not playing the game and it was just in his bed because he put it there and blah blah blah blah... and his dad totally BUYS it!

So, now his dad gets pissed at me for being the "Gestapo and trying to catch SK9 doing something"... argument ensues and he defends SK9.

This kid does this kind of crap constantly and it needs to stop. It is so hard to deal with this and not be resentful of both the parent and the child. I know that SK9 has issues and some of this isn't his fault. We have him in therapy once a week for all his "problems" - however, this lying and manipulating to pit his father and I against each other has got to stop.

HELP