Can't get over the fact
So, I met my fiance and then after we'd moved in together and started a serious relationship we found out his ex pulled the "I didn't know I was pregnant" Story, since then I think I've completely changed as a person towards children who aren't my own. I CANT STAND when she comes over, all she does is whine and cry till he picks her up and he just goes for it every time but when it comes to my son and the way I act with him he yells at me all the time for giving in.
I ended up getting pregnant during their whole dramatic custody ordeal and I almost delivered my baby at 29 weeks due to incredible stress levels. My fiance neglected my feelings all the time and I almost feel like he risked my daughters life for a petty court fight because my midwife, my doctor and I even told him my stress levels are so dangerous for the baby. Then it happened and they didn't think they would be able to stop the labor, to make things worse I was alone in the hospital while this was happening and he just tells me to get over it. And the BM would always come to our house and threaten and scream at my fiance which would make my son breakdown in tears and he just DID NOT care, I mean I guess since those events the momma bear claws came out.
That was the day I think that I threw my hands up and said I'm done with it, I can't stand this girl, she hits my kids and my baby at that and my fiance does NOTHING but if its the other way around my son gets sent to his room. There was another incident where the kid looked to see who was watching and dumped a whole waterbottle onto my newborn daughter then she started crying. My fiance comforted her and left our screaming newborn alone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! . All she does is scream and cry I HATE when she comes over here and I hate that I'm so miserable with my children because of it. I've dated people with children before and was NEVER like this I don't understand what happened to me but it just seems like it's completely turned me cold. His parents too make things HORRIBLE. I live in Ontario and they like in Alberta, they come into town every summer and they would spend 2.5 hours driving to get this other kid and see her. But wouldn't be bothered to come see his other daughter the one I had. I cant TAKE IT ANYMORE o.0 I don't know how to let it go or get over it.
I hate when he neglects us when she comes over I have to remind him he has 2 daughters now, not only that but he was in my sons life almost his entire life and now my son who thinks of him as a father is being shoved aside and it really does hurt him and he even says it. I feel like, everyone favors this other mom and I don't even know why after everything she put my fiance through!!
I'm so lost at what to do I feel trapped 
Like I have no way out and I'll never be happy no matter how honest I am to my fiance!
I also feel robbed of my
I also feel robbed of my fiance he is a completely different person hes not the person I agreed to marry or the person I fell inlove with but when I tell him that it just doesnt seem to bug him! Again dont know how to deal with it anymore
Im pregnant again and don't want stress anymore but he seems like he just has no concern this time around, again...
Honestly we barely have any
Honestly we barely have any pphysical relationship whatsoever anymore my daughter wasn't even 2 months old it was not planned whatsoever but I was raised to believe that abortion is just out of the question completely and now I am firm with that belief (I do respect everyone elses decision it's just not for me)
I had an appointment to get tied
And just one stupid time is all it took. Trust me wasn't in my book of to do's...
Wow...why are you still with
Wow...why are you still with this man? How old is your SD? It sounds like you are WAY down on his list of priorities. You really need to think about the safety of your children and their emotional well being. It sounds like you should consider seeing a therapist. When a situation is chaotic, they can help you wade through the mess and get to the truth. You need to protect this current pregnancy as well. You're not married to him yet, and you're not obligated to be. If he's like this now, it's not going to get any better. This is supposed to be the "honeymoon" period. Please go see a therapist..you need some support. Please keep us updated. {{{Hugs}}}
Take your kids and leave.
Take your kids and leave. You don't deserve this.
That's just it. I feel
That's just it. I feel trapped how to I pick up and leave with 2.5 kids when he's the money maker in the house I don't have a job, I stay at home with my kids. Just don't even no where to begin...We own a house together, but he's said that he wouldn't let me keep it for the kids...I'm not sure if we could go to court to see who gets the house? Its just very overwhelming...
You call family and/or
You call family and/or friends. Tell them what you're dealing with. Ask them to purchase a one ticket to where they are and give you a place to stay until you are on your feet. Once you are, you pay them back.
I've thought of it but the
I've thought of it but the only "reliable" family I have is 16 hours away. I don't think its fair to take my son away from HIS father (We are separated) Like I said baffled n lost and confused and feeling trapped. Ugh
I am also confused. You're
I am also confused. You're still legally married to somebody else?
Ahhh! Sorry, but I have a
Ahhh! Sorry, but I have a really hard time when women put themselves in these situations and then cry about how unhappy they are.
WHY did you get knocked up the first time?? You said it was stressful and miserable and he treats you like crap.
THEN you get knocked up AGAIN?!? Good heavens, girl!
Time to suck it up and be an adult. Get a JOB, take care of YOUR kids, and get out.
When you make bad life choices, you have to live with them.
When you make good life choices, you enjoy living with them!
Time to take some personal responsibility!
Well I'll be the first to
Well I'll be the first to admit that I dont deserve sympathy, but I also don't deserve to be made a fool. I know what I did was stupid I dont need it rubbed in. Mainly I wanted to know if I'm crazy for feeling so resentful towards the "SD" My standing up and finally taking action because I've realized this isnt good for anyone is still new I'm still trying to figure out what to do...
But I had NO problem with it at the beginning when we initially found out, I was so supportive I bought her baby clothes I bought him a crib for our house I did EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But it was all the neglect from him and his family that got me here so initially I wasn't expecting to ever feel this way, I put myself in a situation that I was content with at the time but didn't know what my fiance would turn into....I get what your saying you made the bed now lay in it, but this site isnt about that its simply about support...Because you could say that about every single person in here venting about not being able to stand their SK's...
It's about support AND
It's about support AND advice. I personally think it's ridiculous to be resentful of SD and the fact the BF pays support. These things existed BEFORE you got knocked up the FIRST time.
Look, I was a teen mom and have been left by my XH with 4 kids and NO job. I'm not standing on my pedestal. I've BEEN there. Just telling you what I did. Stopped whining about it, got myself out of that situation, got on BIRTH CONTROL, and GOT A JOB.
Now, life is a hell of a lot better.
All depends if you want to sit in the mire forever or get out and make it better.
Well, if has a lot to do with
Well, if has a lot to do with her (SD) hitting my children harming them on purpose and him doing nothing about it I cant even hug him without her screaming and him rushing to her aid. When I had gotten pregnant with my daughter I was still on good terms with everything then mid pregnancy everything exploded. The child support thing, we bring in 2600.00 a month we have my daughter and he's claimed my son I just think 500.00 a month is a bit much. I don't want him to stop I believe he should be paying child support I just think its a lot for one child. It's also that I don't have a job but I am currently on mat leave I take care of my son and my daughter while he works I see no problem with that. I'm very young with little support I know what I have to do it's a scary thing.
Two questions: How much CS do
Two questions:
How much CS do you receive from your son's father?
How old is SD?
And $500 for one kid really isn't that much. We always paid more for one kid.
Also, you say you are on mat leave but you don't have a job. When you are on mat leave, you DO have a job. You're just on leave from it.
$500 for one kid sounds about
$500 for one kid sounds about right. We pay $1,200 for one kid now...only five more years only five more years only five more years...
Soooo you're going to stay
Soooo you're going to stay with him????
I don't know this is the
I don't know this is the first time I've really even spoken about how I'm feeling AT ALL to anyone but a few close friends. I feel overwhelmed but he makes me feel like I'm wrong for feeling the way I do so finally I woke up today and found this sight and found many people feeling the same way I do. But no I think it's time for me to figure out how to get out of here and be more drivin to do so...
OP, how old are you?
OP, how old are you?
I think it's very scary for a
I think it's very scary for a stay at home mom to make such a change, but it sounds like you need to work on it. Come up with a plan, and follow through. And by all means get divorced from the first man, too. You are putting the cart before the horse and it's only going to run over YOU. Oh, AND your kids. All that said, I'm sorry you are going through this. Nobody should be treated that way.
When my first husband left me
When my first husband left me and his son for another woman.....I was also a stay at home mom and he had the only income. I had to think AND act fast!! There is only one way to do it.....that old Nike commercial bit off a mouthful when they coined the phrase "Just Do It." If I were you, and I already knew what the answer was (and IF that answer was leaving) then I would already be planning. Search for employment....find a daycare....start getting things organized. I don't know how you handle things right now, in day to day life with this family.....but gradually start to withdraw yourself. Get busy with all of the above things I mentioned. Don't make your opinions known anymore....just keep quiet and try to stay busy. If you are serious about looking for a good job and daycare.....staying busy will not be hard. Believe me.....SOMEONE will notice that you have quietly removed yourself from the fray and chaos. SOMEONE will begin to question you. That is when I would say exactly what you have said here. I would say that I have simply had enough. (Make sure you have your plans set, first!!!) I am sorry you are going through this.....and of course, this is only one person's opinion! I wish you luck!