First of all, I am new to this site. I am part of a moms site, that has step parenting groups, but figured I'd find a forum for both mothers and fathers, and steps alike, to get perspective from all directions.

My son is 3 years old and my step daughter is also 3, they are only 6 weeks apart. Step daughter is .. manipulative at best! She is constantly lying about my son, right in front of me and thinks I'm not going to call her out on it. Says DS hits her, when she hit him. Says DS took a toy from her, that he just walked out of the bedroom with, while she was in the living with me the whole time he was in there. Etc.

In our home, I nip this in the bud, every time, because DH is so quick to believe SD, and jump all over DS. So I stay on top of it. I'm actually thinking of creating a chart, to show him who lies more, who's more violent. I'm not saying DS is perfect, he hits SD, he lies, but he doesn't lie to get her in trouble.

However, SD goes home and tells BM that DS hits her etc.

BM started flipping on DH today, via text message, that SD does not need to call my parent grandma and grandpa. Then she moves on to say that SD will not be coming back over here anymore, because DS hits SD. This goes both ways and we are trying hard to improve this issue, but if you put two 3 year olds in the same room every weekend, fights happen. We do not let this behavior go unpunished. I spank DS, and it works.. however, SD does not get spanked and time outs just don't work for her.

DH has a court order, that he gets SD every weekend, every other holiday and 6 weeks vacation time, not to exceed 2 weeks at a time.

BM then moves on to say that SD is coming home saying that DH and I call her names in front of SD ( we rarely if ever discuss BM, because she's an energy drain, and when we do, it's at night, after the kids are in bed) and that SD keeps coming home talking about a baby, so DH can't see SD anymore.

Um.. I'm not pregnant and even if I was, that is not a reason to stop visitation. Get over it!

The sad thing is, I don't think that DH will fight this. I think he'll just wait for her to call and ask him to come get SD.. which could be next weekend, it could be a few months..

And even sadder.. I kinda wish he would do that. Weekends are so stressful, because of SD's behavior, (that stems from her mother) and DH and I either fight all weekend, or DS and I spend the entire weekend in my bedroom or away from the house, to stay away from SD.

I can't even hug my husband when she is around, or else she throws a fit, then goes home and tells BM and BM blows up that we are being inappropriate in front of SD. I'm just tired.. I wish she would just keep SD.. for one weekend at least.. just to give me one weekend of peace. I work full time , as does DH and from the minute we get home Friday afternoon, it's SD time.. during the week, we are both too tired to spend time together and on the weekends, we don't get the time, because SD is such an attention drain!

She doesn't know how to entertain herself, tho' she will be 4 in 6 weeks. She doesn't know how to go to sleep by herself, she doesn't know how to eat by herself.. HE STILL FEEDS HER!!

I'm just so tired and I miss my husband. When we met, he had her every other weekend.. I wish it would go back to that... of course I can't tell him this..