So Alone
I'm not sure where to begin....My husband and I have been married for seven yr's....my issue is with his daughter she just turned 18, she's been living full time with us since her mother died 4 yr's ago. She wouldn't go to school,she finally did home school but never finished.We bought her a car for her 18th birthday so she could find a job!It's been 3 month's and no job , my husband's cousin said they were hirring at her work but she doesn't want to work there,it's in a nut factory,sorting nut's what's wrong with that? Were paying for her gas, smokes ,Insurance,cell phone the whole 9 yard's!I told my husband he's making it to easy on her,why should she work,she has everything!!!! I really want her out of our home....she lies,steal's weve had to put lock's on our bedroom door to keep her out, then she broke into our room through the window!The screen was torn is how I knew and when my husband asked her she said she didn't do it,according to my husband the screen was already torn!!!!! I found one of my check's from my check book in her room...nothing was said!she'd come in our room and go thru all my drawer's and take what she wanted...my husband said that was expected!!!!This had been going on for 4 year's and he finally agreed to the lock!!Weve had to put security codes on everything phone,tv she'd order pay-per-veiw and finally we got kicked off our calling plan because they said we abused it!!!! All she does is lay around and talk on the phone all day. She used to leave all her dirty dishes for me to do,but I finally was able to stop that! The other day she left some silverware in the sink and I asked her to do them..she said it's only a fork and spoon, I said exactly!!! There's so many other thing's I could list:(..I'm just am at my witt's end! We, husband and I haven't been able to talk in 3 day's(I'm only working 2 day's a week now) when he get's home she greet's him at the door,ask's him how his day was and follow's him wherever he goes,I'm feeling a bit left out!
I just needed to vent !! But i'm not sure it helped:(
Hi Rita!
No you are not alone, not much time here so PLEASE read my BIO and my posts,maybe that might be of some help to you!!!
And we are now ok, after some couciling and an ultimatum from me!!!
Read on, it might help.
Good Luck
Any questions? just private message me!
hangingin
not alone
Hi...I wanted to let you know I read yr blog. My ss and I get along fine he is 20.My husband and ss don't see eye to eye so he no longer lives with us.I wish the same courtesy extended to me!
Thank you for writing
Rita
Definately not alone anymore....
Your SD needs a tough love dose of REALITY... This may sound harsh... but my mom and dad did it to me (when I was 15) and it sure taught me a lot.... kick her ass out!
Its hard because shes your SD so DH may think 'well you wouldn't that to your kid'.... thats where I think we run into problems...
If ANY of my childen Bio of Step were acting like that, they would NOT be allowed to continue living with me....
"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned"
-Budda
not alone
Thank you for writing.
I have never had much say in my step children's lives. My husband handles everything where they are concerned. yr so right about "I wouldn't do that to my children"!! and he is so wrong!! I've even asked him to ask my kid's about this and that so he'd know! My daughter is 26 and my son is 22,they were good kid's growing up never had them steal or go thru our thing's run up bill's even lie, I asked my daughter if she could remember lying to me and she said the only thing she could remember is getting into the left over Thanksgiving dinner I had asked her not to because of a weight problem! I'm just not used to being around ungrateful kid's who could care less about anything except themselves!
Thank you!
>>>> school but never
>>>> school but never finished.We bought her a car for her 18th >>>> birthday so she could find a job!It's been 3 month's and no
>>>> job , my husband's cousin said they were hirring at her
>>>> work but she doesn't want to work there,it's in a nut
>>>> factory,sorting nut's what's wrong with that? Were paying
There's nothing wrong with it... except that it's a job that requires her to get off her butt and do something. She will never do it voluntarily. She sounds exactly like my adult SD.
>>>> work,she has everything!!!! I really want her out of our
>>>> home....she lies,steal's weve had to put lock's on our
>>>> bedroom door to keep her out, then she broke into our room
You should... you should not have to put up with this in your own house.
>>>> and talk on the phone all day. She used to leave all her
>>>> dirty dishes for me to do,but I finally was able to stop
>>>> that! The other day she left some silverware in the sink
>>>> and I asked her to do them..she said it's only a fork and
>>>> spoon, I said exactly!!! There's so many other thing's I
How dare you ask The Princess to help in the kitchen???!!!!
Like someone else said, I'd put her out of the house and let her find her own way. But I'm betting your husband has a thousand reasons why it would be cruel and inhuman punishment to require this helpless little child to live on her own.
I'm sorry to hear that you feel alone. I know exactly what that's like.