Just want my space to myself

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My husband has 3 kids and at this point, just SD 14 lives with us every other week. She’s a sweet kid, stays fairly active and is fairly clean. She likes to suck up all my husbands attention sometimes, but whatever. I have a 3 month old baby so I am home all the time now, without work to allow me to avoid being here a lot when she is. We’ve only had 3 weeks this summer where we’ve both been home, this being the last one. I absolutely dread these weeks with no school. I don’t want to feel obligated to socialize (she’s very chatty), and it just drives me up the wall to hear her raiding the refrigerator or taking a long shower in my bathroom. I feel like such a shitty person, because she really doesn’t cause any problems. I don’t want to share my home with anyone other than my son and my husband. Things will be a lot easier once school and sports start again but I’m already planning to go home (my family lives on the other side of the country) for a month next summer. I love my husband dearly, and we’ve all been living together EOW for 5 years and I’ve just had enough. Can anyone relate? Thanks for listening to my not even so horrible rant.

I think that most people in a

I think that most people in a multiple kid relationships probably have similar thoughts upon occassion.

You are not a shitty person.

You are not a bad person at

You are not a bad person at all. This is normal and is human nature. Do not feel guilty. My stepson, although messy and sometimes bossy, is generally well behaved for the most part. He could clean up after himself more and not be so bossy sometimes however he is a good kid overall. Even at that, I still wish the house was just my DH and I. It is not the same when it is not your own child.

As previously said, you are

As previously said, you are not a shitty person, these feelings are natural. You mentioned two specific instances - ie raiding the fridge and having a long shower. If you feel that she does either of these things unreasonably - eg is in the shower for an unreasonable length of time, or eats food destined for a meal, for example, then you could say something. My SDs used to annoy me by leaving all electric appliances on in their room when they went out. I am disengaged, but I did ask DH to tackle them about it. When nothing happened, I took to going in their room after they went out and turning everything off! I got stick from younger SD one time as I turned the computer off in the middle of a game, terrible sin apparently. DH had a go at me about it, I said well tough, I will continue to do it so you better tell her that. I pay the bills here too.

I don’t feel like what she’s

I don’t feel like what she’s doing i.e the fridge raiding or shower taking is unreasonable. It just will annoy me when she’s here all day and really just because I don’t want to shaw my resources. She stays pretty busy and loves my son, her half brother. I wouldn’t trade her for another kid, yet I still struggle sharing my space. Thanks for the words of encouragement.

I get where you are coming

I get where you are coming from. Having unrelated people in your home can be an irritant for sure. Yes, your complaints are really small compared to a lot of people on here.. but just because you don't have cancer.. doesn't mean you can't whine a little about the common cold.

But, what helped me the most was really trying to empathize with my SD's.. and also to count my blessings for the S Show that I wasn't experiencing.

So.. first, try to put yourself in her shoes a bit. I am not excusing all bad behavior of "children of divorce".. but it is not easy to have to split time with parents and potentially share homes with people that may not really like you.. and are also foreign to you.

Which brings me to the 2nd point that you realize that she isn't causing the bucketloads of problems that so many kids on here are. So.... since it is for relatively short periods of time.. it probably is the best to "fake it till you make it." Take breaks when you need it etc.. The good news is she is really only a few years from a time when she will spend even less of it at home.

You are totally right. I

You are totally right. I tend to lose sight of these things too easily. I think it’s easier to remember when it’s not the summer and school is in and she’s not in the house so much. Anyway, I posted in hopes of hearing a response like yours, so thank you!

Totally normal. Those

Totally normal. Those feelings can be intensified after you have a baby too, at least they were for me. I just wanted my little family in the house and that was it. It got better as my daughter got older and I saw how much she loves her sister (my SD).