Mute Button On
Does anyone else have adult skids (25 and their SO and kid) living in their shared house (for free)? Anyone not allowed to say any thing about their behavior? (for example, refusing to speak to you or acknowledge your existence, leaving clothes in bathroom, dirty dishes in sink, just examples) BUT Then DH won't say anything either, because 1) no balls 2) why should their kid live under the woman's rules of the house, or 3) why are you harassing their kid?
I mean, how dare I mention that the dishes they so called washed are NOT clean on purpose, among other things purposely done to piss me off. And if you ask is there a plan for them to grow up and become independent and move out you're a heartless bitch.
Anyone else told by DH flat-out that it's all YOUR fault that this problem exists and DH WON'T FIX IT or do anything about it because it's ALL YOUR FAULT? Trust me, it ain't my fault. I've never yelled at this kid, never said a bad word, we've barely had a conversation. And this kid refuses to have anything to do with me or my kid but DH and this kid (and SO and grandkid) continue to live like everything is great and fun despite me being ignored, hated and have no say in 1/2 my house. They think it's great, they spend tons of quality time together without the nasty bitch being home.
Hit me between the eyes, please, I've lost my sense of reality in the name of love and I want to be sure I'm not crazy before making my own plans to grow up and leave this toxic situation. Clearly this will not be fixed by those involved because like I said, everyone else is fine with it and it's all my fault anyway, I'm the only one with the problem. I mean, I should be ok with people living in my own house that don't speak to me, fleeing the room when I walk in. Entire rooms (sleeping, living) of my house is off limits to me and my kid, but hey, that's normal. It's healthy to have problems and not talk about them with the person that caused them, it's normal for women to not have a say about things in their own kitchen, or to not tell someone they need to clean their mess isn't it????
This situation is totally
This situation is totally unacceptable. I don't know how or most importantly, why you put up with this. Please don't allow these people to make you think that YOU are the problem here. Yes, you've allowed it to go on so you are responsible for that, but in no way, shape or form is this behavior normal, acceptable, healthy or respectful.
DH wants to support skid and
DH wants to support skid and family, he wants to have them live there, has given them lots of space for their furniture and belongings and they want to now take over my kids room because my kid is at university. He doesn't want them to pay anything, and he is ok with continuing to pay his kids bills.
He doesn't understand why I have a problem with the situation. I was booted out of my family room and I'm not welcome there.....gee why do I have a problem with that. The significant other makes enough money for that age, and can afford to keep them in an apartment but lives at my house. The significant other doesn't contribute financially to my house, living there free. Gee why do I have a problem with that?
It seems obvious that this is
It seems obvious that this is never going to change, as it is how your DH wants it.
Can you leave and get your own place?
Honestly, you don't seem to be on the short list of priorities as far as your DH is concerned, which would really bother me.
The fact that he blames you for everything, well, I just don't get that. How is it your fault that they have taken over your house? Don't pay rent? Won't move out? Don't clean up after themselves?
I won't let my SD22 and her 2 kids move in. I would lose it. She better hope her BM lives a long, long life.
It's my fault that stepkid
It's my fault that stepkid won't speak to me, that stepkid treats me that way....that skid hates me, that part is all my fault, not the freeloading part. I even tried showing him articles on stepkids and how they hate stepmothers, but noooooo the way his kid acts is all my fault.
Well My situation was
Well My situation was different in that the step didn't live here, but the same deal really. She could do no wrong, I could do no right. Your husband will never fix it. You have to decide what you want. For me, I was done being treated like that by my husbands daughter, but more importantly, I WAS WELL AND TRULY DONE WITH HIM ALLOWING IT AND TWISTING EVERY SINGLE THING SO IT WAS - MY FAULT. None of it was my fault. They are a dysfunctional toxic family, they always have been, always will be, because they can see no wrong in themselves.
I had nothing to lose. I banned his daughter and her boyfriend from my home. Told dh to go with her. It's been a long two years, he sulked, wit he threw out all the usual "punishments" till he went a step too far last January. After that though, he put himself into counselling and sought medical treatment for his depression and anxiety. But until you work out what you really want, you can't fix it. If you still have that fear of losing him, he will smell it. You have to really be ready to throw it in, if you are he will know. If he still chooses his kids, well, what have you lost, a man who loves someone else more than you, who would rather live with someone else more than you. It's no great loss really is it.