In the last few weeks, our family has had to deal with a 'Family Crisis'. My mother started having chest pains 4rth of July weekend. She didn't fully disclose 'all' of the details, so we didn't get her into ER as we should have. Instead she asked me to make appointments with her Gastro specialist, who quickly assessed her problems as cardiac issues. Within a week we took her to her primary md and made appointments to see a cardiologist. Meanwhile the she had what appeared to be another attack. This time we got her into ER and the Roller Coaster Ride began. She was diangosed with 90% blockage on 4 major arteries. Bi-Pass Surgery was the only option.

The family... mobilized, I'm making the assumption that this is the norm for most families. We had a problem identified. We had a solution. What other loose ends to we need to tie up to keep the boat afloat? My brother took on mom's house, finances and small dog. I have 2 young daughters at home, how would they get to day camp? Who needs to be where... what needs to be done. And... we all gathered at Mom's bed-side to give her courage, wish her well and show her that the family was here and with her. The night before the surgery, we all kissed her and wished her well. But in our minds, we were all worried that this may be the last time we speak with her. We held on and leaned on each other for support. That's what families do don't they????

SD.......did not show up. Did not call. Did not text. Did not do much of anything. And mom... who had welcomed this child into the family, who called SD.. a grand daughter. Who made sure she did not let a birthday or holiday pass without a gift, given out of love and caring. Gifts that were on par, dollar for dollar with her blood grand children. Mom noticed SD's non-existance. And once again... SD succeeded in hurting her.

When SD made the choice of leaving, she didn't take into consideration that she not only left me.. "THE BITCH WITCH"... she left my two daughters, who looked up to her and had accepted her as one of their own. Not a word in 6 months. She also left my brother, who treated her like a full blooded niece... and my mother.. who treated her like blood. Mom was so hurt, "Why? Why is she doing this???" Young. Stupid. Foolish. She didn't just burn a bridge... she tore it down and left scorched earth.

I think it goes back to morals and values. I was raised with an entirely different set of morals and values. My DH seem's to feel the same. When there is a family crisis then the entire family sets aside all family squables, disagreements, etc and bands together. I remember when my grandmother had a stroke, my parents hadn't spoken to my Uncle and Aunt for years. However, in the hospital waiting room, you would never have known it. Family Bull crap was put aside and the "FAMILY" came together. SD (18) ???? doesn't hold those values or be of that mind set. She chose NOT to show up. Not to call. Not to pay her respects. Her father lit into her and told her how very disapointed he was in her in-actions. "She wasn't raised this way."

Well... a day after the bi-pass, while mom was still in ICU, I get a text from a friend of mine who ran into SD, who asked about Grandma, and indicated she was going to come to visit on the weekend. WTF !!! At this point, little to little.. little to late. I didn't want my mother upset and a visit from SD at this point would rile mom up. Mom would want to lecture her on her. Had she come before the surgery, then its understood that "ALL" conversation and family disagreements are put aside. Her not showing up... was yet another act of defiances and disrespect.

I had no choice but to text her and let her know this was NOT a good idea at this point. Absolutely not. The text I recieved in return... "Who is this?" and then.. "ha ha.. YOU are texting me.. lol." As if she just won something because I sent her a text or communication after 6 mths of leaving my home. She then told me.. "But my father said I could come." grrrrrrrrrrrr. He has no right over my mother. WTF. I let her know that and later took it up with him. And what do you think I found out? She lied. He never said that. And he read through the thread of texts back and forth and was visibly irrate. He called on the carpet. Again... WHERE was she??? what ensued was..."YOU guys threw me out of the family." Ahhhh no, you put your big girl panties on and decided that the boundaries and rules we put in place were too much. She chose to move out. And.... at the same time, build this Berlin Wall, where she can't come to the house to see him. Can't call the house to talk to him. He is forced to see his daughter by having to make an appointment and date. Okkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk. These were things "SHE" chose to do. No one threw her out of the house.

When he talked to her and put her in her place. She then decided to boo-hoo all over FB, about how she is once again gonna lose a family member because they found themselves.."STUCK" in a situation that wasn't theirs. STUCK??? STUCK???? and this situation is not his????? and.. how was she losing him??? who said anything about losing him??? He has to pick up the phone and talk to her like the "CHILD" she is.. and now she's losing him?? hmmmmmmm. His eye's are wide open to her BS now.. and it's starting to sting. But Boo-Hoo'ing over FB??? He called her again... "REMOVE IT...I've told you before about airing your BS on line. You have a problem, you talk to me directly. REMOVE IT."

I sat there next to my mom's hospital bed, thinking.."Do I really need this crap now?????" Now.... she's chosen NOW to run her mouth, play her games, and poke at me. When I am at my angriest, I get quiet. Quiet is not good. I told my DH... "NOW is not the time. You take care of this and make her understand I am hanging by a thread... I "WILL" go and find her and have a face to face.. and it "WILL NOT" be pleasant... for anyone."

Yes... I've resorted to threats. But really??? ATTENTION SEEKING... NOW??? She's chosen NOW to act like a brat???? My 2 youngest... 9 and 12..have grown up a lot in the last two weeks. Both of them picking up more chores in the house and taking up the slack. We've all... picked up the slack. I've had friends bringing in meals and offering to take my kids to entertain them. But the SD.. chooses not to be part of the family, not to participate, and boo-hoo that we kicked her out of the family months ago. grrrrrrrrrrrrrr. What else can I expect from a kid who 3 weeks ago, sat in a church at her mothers wedding and sent mocking texts messages about the wedding. Disrepectful. Disrespectful. RUDE.

Ohh yeah.... on the day that her mother remarried, SD walked mom up the aisle to give her away. She then sat down and sent RUDE remarks about the wedding to family and friends. Nice. How do I know?? DH recieved a text. I was beside myself.. "How the hell would you feel if she did that to us??? Your X is getting married, she deserves all the respect in the world today. WTF is wrong with that kid???"

As I write this..and think about how she treated her own mother, I shouldn't be so surprised that I get crapped on time and again. What a brat.