Gatherings, Get Togethers, Restraining Orders & Police Reports
Forums:
As the holidays approach, we are reminded of past visits spontaneous gatherings, & traditional parties whether we are disengaged or not.
If you get along with & enjoy 99% of the people who would be at the gathering, but there's been friction between yourself and adult SK's to the point a RO or PR has had to be filed, would you, as your DH's DW attend or skip it altogether?
Why?
Why not?
Thanks, and I hope everyone is doing well!
If the restraining order is still in effect
If the restraining order is still in effect, and the people named in the restraining order all show up at the same gathering, someone is going to be in violation of the order - so I wouldn't go.
If the order is no longer in effect, but people I once had an order against were going to be at the gathering, I wouldn't go.
I would not want to be near anyone I once had a restraining order against, unless things had truly been worked out and I felt like they were no longer a danger.
I would not go 500miles near
I would not go 500miles near anyone with this much baggage, much less break bread with them.
Why you ask?
Because I dont, WE dont "do" drama in our life :)
Peace is priceless. Not saying stuff doesnt happen. For darn sure we dont go into stuff like you mention to keep the peace OR of the old saying 'family is family'. They can deal with their lives their way, we will do the same. Bye
No
I'd stay home. If there has never been a discussion and changed behavior, nothing has changed. So why would you want to go?? I took back my holidays a couple of years before my total disengagement. Christmas Eve has always been my time, celebrating with my kds, family and friends. DH's kids had us all walking on eggshells. And now I don't have to carefully plan because after the final insult in 2018, they know they are not welcome.
I refuse to attend family functions events my sd’s will be at
Because they're such disrespectful toxic a-holes who don't respect boundaries privacy of ours and i refuse to torture my or my kids presence with them.
i figured years ago, give it a couple more times hubby in his typical guilty disney daddy syndrome being alone with sd's ranting non stop about whore bio mum like she's mother theresa and the affair guy she actively cheated on whilst married to my husband who is now her husband and ranting on like they're respectable members of the community and hubby would realise how much torture it was.
it only took another 2 visits alone and their non stop rants of bio mum and step dad for my husband to make it clear to eldest sd who was 23 at the time, that there was never to be a conversation or her mentioning biomum or stepdaddy anything because they are irrelevant to hubby and not of his concern and it was extremely disrespectful to me his wife.
I don't need a restraining order or physical violence before i refuse to be around you. If you wanna be a toxic a-hole, have right at it, you just won't have me torturing myself with your presence
I would go. Particularly if
I would go. Particularly if they are the subject of the RO/PO.
When you arrive, they can leave of their own volition or in tha back of a patrol car. Their choice.
I ascribe to the be reasonable if they are reasonable philosophy. And... the come down on them like a ton of shit in a one pound bag philosophy when they are toxic. They choose the me they get based on their behavioral choices.
Keep it simple..