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Father's Day

old-blue-eyes's picture

In the past few years I have not given a father's day card to my dh or even said a word to him regarding that he is a dad. This is a very touchy subject for me. My reason is not a selfish one it is because his bio 40 something year old sibling has given me soo much grief & conflict of interest that we don't even bring her name up. She does not even recognize him on any holiday or even send him an email or phone call that I know of.
This is so bad that I almost feel sorry for him, but when I think about it ever since we been married he never send me a Mother's day card even though I am her stepmother. We do not have any kids of our own so I feel motherless. Should I just say nothing to him next Sunday? We will be taking my Dad out for dinner. This is awkward for me.
I just don't want anything to do with her. She is very rude and has poor behavior plus she only thinks about herself, In my opinion she hit skid row to say the least Sad His grandkids don't even bother with him so sad Sad DH has a dysfunctional family from his previous marriage and I do not want to get involved in it. She is a piece of work and I had it up to my neck with her!

hereiam's picture

I have always done something for my hubby on Father's Day simply because I recognize what a great father he is, even if his kids don't and never have. It's about him, not them.

He always wants to do something for me on Mother's Day, even though I have no kids with him or anybody else.

Do you feel he has been a good father even though you don't care for his daughter? Get him a card, take him to dinner. Let him know that you appreciate him even if his kid doesn't.

knucklehead's picture

I can't imagine ignoring the holiday for DH simply because I don't like his kids. That's sad. Sad

old-blue-eyes's picture

I love my dh very much I even told him a while ago that he is the best father a daughter could ever have. She just doesn't appreciate him enough and that's sad Sad . I will be taking my dad and my dh out for dinner Smile and that is my thoughtfulness for both of them. Unfortunately his daughter just does not want to be included.
I tried many times to form some sort of family relationship with her, she just does not want to bothered with, so I give up trying...

Orange County Ca's picture

Have you mis-placed your anger towards his kid? This is his only kid and he never has contact - its possible fathers day brings back more bad memories and he'd soon forget it exists. You're into it now and I'd keep things as they are. You can over-do some other holiday such as his birthday.

I've struggled with who to recognize. Only my mother/father? Where do I draw the line? Almost everybody is a mother/father. The guy next door - the stranger up the block with 3 bikes on the lawn? I donno.

Finally I took the cheapskate way out and celebrated only my parents who truly deserved the honor.

casper's picture

its stressful for me too..the first year we were married I had a big cookout for my dh and his kids and had my kids and grandkids here...seems like the thing to do..my kids always participate even if they don't want to, I thought it just the respectful thing to do but he never makes his kids do anything for me and he allows them to not participate when my kids do mothers day for me..it becomes a vicious cycle..this year two of his kids wont even speak to him and it will somehow be my fault ... as is everything else