Thanks, got the wine already....shut I away in our bedroom. He's now in the spare room.

I think you are right tuff cookie mom, I agree with everything you say, just wish he could see it too.

I've decided to wait to see what he is going to do. If he goes to her that is it. I think he is hoping I will make it easy for him to go, Im doing nothing at the moment so it will have to be his choice.

We don't have Thanksgiving in England so she didn't come back. The rest of the year is not great but a little calmer when she is at uni. He seems to be indifferent to me as soon as she's home. As I say to him, she just has to click her fingers and he's there, she told me in an email he even asked her what did she want him to do about his relationship with me! Humiliating or what.

He's a very weak person, tries to please everyone, but ends up upsetting us all. He and I have discussed many issues over the last few years to which we try and agree a course of action, only for him to go behind my back to his daughter and tell her different, also telling hernot to tell me. I have asked him over and over not to agree on something with me then do this.

He makes promises to me then 'moves the goalposts as and when it suits him. This frustrates me so much.

At the moment he is actually enjoying us not talking and sleeping separately, as it gives him space to do his own thing, which is usually spent on his laptop, writing.

I'm staying out of the house all weekend as I've chosen to cover others shifts. Rightly or wrongly I've asked my partner on a text , to respect me in that if his daughter won't visit the house when I'm there he's not to bring her around when I'm not, she wouldn't want me in her house when she was out. He's just ignored me, never understands anything from my point of view. She's always right whatever she says or does. Now am here at work anxious yet again. Really can't do this much more, I can feel I'm sinking lower day by day.

Rh, I know you are right, thanks. Partly why I am working all weekend is too keep busy and focus on my job. It's hard though as I'm consumed with hate for her being able to come between us. But I also realise now its my partner too who is letting this happen.

Hardly slept at all last night, I'm drained today at work.....what I want is be loved and happy. Or just be happy if that's not possible. My partner knows this and tells me he won't give me what I want as doesn't want me to tell him what to say, and that he's stubborn. So I wait, do nothing, and still nothing from him.

In my head I have decided to leave, I have already been looking for a place that might be a possibility to move to....but we have to sell first and that could take a while, this time of year. What I meant was what is he going to do about his daughter, stay at home with me on Xmas day and not see her, or leave and go and be with her? I don't want to 'rock the boat' before Xmas day as he will feel justified walking out if he feels I am pushing him. He is a weak character and finds making decisions very difficult, that's why I don't want to make this decision for him.

I know him, he will go along with whatever I decide as it takes the decision away from him and he can tell everyone it was my choice. He will never stand up to her as I know he feels guilty for being with me and her being alone, and is afraid she won't want to see him any longer.

He always tells me I am too needy and insecure. He's right about the I insecurites, this I do agree on. But as he refuses to sell his other house to (as he says) "keep my options open" and never tells me he loves me, never stands up to my SD I, at least, understand why I feel this way. Also a big part of why is due to my mum telling me as a child she never wanted a daughter, only boys. Also that she didn't like me but had to love me as I was her daughter. Then she had the son she craved and loved him to bits. She has do done lots of other hurtful things ( to numerous to mention) over the years too. She and my dad 'swApped' husbands/wives with another couple when I was 17. I lived alone and basically lost touch with them all over the years, as they had new lives.

I married young to a very controlling man, had four children and supported him while he built up his business, the. He left me for someone else. Very painful divorce followed and it was 18 months before I met my Partner, we didn't live together for three years after this, so I have taken things slowly.

I took a massive step this year to visit my mum, which went ok, she was pleased to see me, but never gets in touch with me of her own accord. I have now asked her and her husband to stay for a couple of days over Xmas and just want to put it all behind me. So will have to see how that goes.

I didn't see my Dad for 17 years but last year I choose to reconnect with him. It's ok, all very polite when we visit, but no meaniful conversations about anything important.

It must be hard for you candylou but at least you were prepared to do something. Which is what I need to do. He knows I have nowhere to go and feels he can just continue on this way without doing anything about anything. I know It is up to me, but I feel so alone, have lost a lot of confidence, and am physically worn out.

He packed up and left today. Moved in with his princess, and driven her to his family party. I despise her so much, I'm gutted,he choose her, blames me, and has gone.

Thank you to everyone for all your support, it really does help.

I actually asked him to leave before my family came to visit on Boxing Day as he said his plan was to enjoy the lunch with mine then go alone to see his daughter and son at his other house, then take his daughter out to his family for a party! I told him he can't have the best of both worlds......with me and mine....then leave me alone to visit his. He said it would be difficult with me there, and I said we should be united as a couple and go together. We just argued and I asked him to leave. He did but just sat in a lay by texting me ( didnt want to go to his other house too early or he would wake the princess!). Just kept blaming me, saying she had done nothing wrong. I couldn't take any more, so stopped replying.

Next I sent one last text to his daughter telling her that whatever daddy tells her, it is all her fault.....rightly or wrongly I sent it! Then I opened a bottle of wine, drank it all and fell asleep.

This morning I had a text to say he didn't go to the party, his daughter went alone, also he tells me now he thinks I was right that he shouldnt have made such a big deal about them not coming to us for Xmas day. I texted him back saying....too little, too late,....and have just been cleaning the house. I actually feel ok apart from at times not liking myself very much after remembering him telling his family have never liked me.

There are two sides and I have been very irritable with my partner for weeks. Just wish he would have told me he loved me and we would sort everything out. I wanted him to back me up where his daughter is concerned. But he never does.

No idea what I can do now as I work part time and cannot afford to pay for this house when he stops paying the bills. Least I won't have to go through a divorce, with not being married.

Lol funny about the dog!....made me laugh, thanks

Not sure who's decision it was for him not to go to the party as not speaking to each other. I like to think it was his as it was bad to walk out and straight away take her out.