Repressing the urge to post passive-aggressive stuff on my FB page...taking the high road lol.

I am not new to stepwifery. But my current spouse sure is new to the household of divorce. I'm lucky this time because he's saner, and not in the Most Popular Parent War with the ex - there are no such battles, all quiet on the western front with the ex, thank God. No maligning from her, no sabotage, no interference.

The ashes of last night's blazing fight still smolder as we've retreated to neutral corners of the house...

I freaking HATE housework, and my only satisfaction in it is being able to enjoy the results. I AGREED to do things for my DH when we planned to get married. He's not a slob, generally. I did NOT agree to the upheaval and lack of privacy that summer brings with the college student home for the summer. And my DH has no earthly idea why I could possibly be resentful of the jobless kid, eating up my groceries, monopolizing my living room with the video games and Tosh.0 when I get home from a long day and tedious commute, exchanging nothing with me in terms of value of any human or physical kind, and leaving a ton of dirty dishes for me to clean up. Hoards dishes in his room till after I've already cleaned up and then dumps them off. I guess when the 2 of them can't find any of the 32-oz glasses they drink from, a rout will occur.

I've had a blow-up about every 3 weeks or so since summer break began, and because this kid has been raised by a laizzez-faire dad, he's created a slob who man-whores in my house. He's a nice enough kid, but I was raised to have more respect for my parents' home. Dad is ok with him bringing home random girls to screw in his filthy room - and of course his bathroom will have to be sandblasted and nuked when he leaves to get rid of the inch of filth that coats the room. I'm not supposed to ask him to clean up anything. He does ok with the LR but his room, and the back bathroom get trashed. I don't see how any self-respecting female would be caught dead in that part of the house. I am just grossed out. If he was in a real relationship, I could almost deal with it. But, well, gross.

So the fight: We are supposed to leave on vacation and leave him here alone. He has not cleaned one single dish the whole time I've known him. He says he didn't screw in my guest bedroom - but the lack of judgement to even take a girl in there blows my mind. Yet when I asked DH for reassurance about not coming home to a disaster...well, it devolved into a huge fight. DH thinks I should just trust the party line "I trust my son to do the right thing" when I have hardly seen him do anything to help out unless harassed by his dad and threatened with no money for school next semester. DH got totally indignant that his endorsement was not good enough for me. Why would it be when he's had stuff in the house he's not supposed to have that could lose my DH his job, and crapping up a whole part of the house?

I laid down the law, I stood up for myself like never before. There is no way I could relax and enjoy, dreading coming home to a bunch of extra cleaning. I told DH that if things were filthy when we got home, it was DH's problem to deal with - I know parties will go on, and so help me, there better not be any sign our room was entered, or it's on. Or, he should cancel my plane ticket and I would stay home to keep up with the kitchen, and deter the partying. I got what I wanted. It's DH's deal to clean up. And if it's not good when we get back, I'm turning right around to go stay elsewhere until they clean up the &*().

COME ON BACK TO SCHOOL!