What Exactly Do I Have to Tell BM?
Hi everyone! It's been a while since my last post, as I've been in and out of the hospital for a few surgeries.
I feel like I need to explain so that my question will be understood. I have a benign tumor on my brain stem that I've had surgery for and am currently receiving outpatient chemotherapy & radiation treatments to take care of. Everything is going swimmingly, except for BM.
FSS3 is exactly that... 3 years old. You can ask him the same question 10 times and get 10 different answers because of his imagination. One day, I said something about thinking I had eaten too much because I didn't feel good to FH. The next time FSS3 came over, I was in the hospital for surgery related to my tumor. Being 3, he said "Miss **** ate too much and had to go to the hospital." She brought this up to FH, laughing. He didn't find it funny. I told him to let it go because FSS3 is 3 and has a wild imagination.
BM is crazy and likes to make stuff up and only wants to hear things that will benefit her. She wants to know why I am in the hospital because "what he said about eating too much and going to the hospital makes her worry that I have a mental condition." I understand that this is her child and she has a right to know what goes on with him. But I am not a threat to her or her child, or anyone for that matter. I do everything that a normal step-mother would do, except, I do not work right now, and do not drive. I cook, clean, play with him, everything else.
Like I said, I understand her concern, but how much do I really have to explain to her? She is the type of person that will turn anything she can around, twist it up, and try to make it work in her favor. I don't even want her knowing my last name because she works for the state and has admitted to FH that she abuses her position and looks up information on people she has no business looking for. I don't want her having my information, nor my parents' information. What should I do?
You don't owe BM any
You don't owe BM any explanations. IF you want to tell her to clear it up, or have your DH tell her, fine. But you don't owe her anything. She's an idiot for laughing about you being in the hospital, so f*ck her.
Sorry to hear that you are going through all of that. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your BF/DH.
You don't owe her any type of
You don't owe her any type of explanation, but if I were your DH I would tell her "I am fully aware of all aspects of my wife's health, and you can rest assured that her ability to safely interact with as is in no way compromised. Anything else is personal and private."
I think I like letting the 3
I think I like letting the 3 year old keeping her up to date on the matter. I think maybe I would help it along. SM has to go to the hospital because I ate to much one time, maybe next time it can be that you are going to the hospital because you stuck a peanut up your nose!
You need to only tell what you are comfortable with and nothing more or less.
Good luck with your health issues, concentrate on you and worry less about BM, it is her ultimate power over you.
I agree i wouldnt tell her
I agree i wouldnt tell her anything.
She's a fool for considering a 3 year old a reliable reporter anyway.
Agreed I wouldnt tell her
Agreed I wouldnt tell her anything you don't want to.
Thanks everyone for the
Thanks everyone for the well-wishes.
I am absolutely against BM knowing anything about me, so I don't want to tell her anything.
She believes everything that comes out of her 3yr old's mouth as "the gospel truth." That's her problem, it will come back to bite her one day, I'm sure.
I agree with you guys that I don't owe her any sort of explanation. Do I legally have to tell her anything? I mean, it is a private medical issue that I have. And unless I said it was okay, it's not like she could call my doctor and find out anything, anyway.
Thanks!!
I hope you feel better,
I hope you feel better, smallfry83. I was actually going to ask a similar question. I don't see why BM's think they have the right to know everything about us and why they believe everything a young child tells them.
I am dealing with same thing FSS5 is a heavy talker, with a wild imagination. BM has called my Boyfriend (BF) a couple times freaked out over what he has told her, everything from we are moving out of state to me being pregnant or 'going to have a baby'. (which are not true)
Then she calls upset because she 'doesn't know me' but she is creepy/stalker-ish and I don't want to tell her anything - again she uses EVERYTHING i say against me.
Our solution, is to tell her nothing, let her 'pimp' the child for information and if she is dumb enough to believe him that is her fault. She doesn't talk to me but when she asks BF he just asks why it matters.
Her new game is to have FSS5 ask me. He asked me where I worked today, I told him something that he will likely get wrong just so see if she says anything.
But if you ask her I have it pretty good, I am 110lbs and 7 months prego and I play computer games for a living.
YOU OWE BM NOTHING!!!!!!!!!
YOU OWE BM NOTHING!!!!!!!!! The only thing you owe anyone is a happy life, home and family to yourself. DH and the SKid benefit from this but you owe no one anything.
PERIOD!
No explaination to BM about your hospitalization. It is none of her business.