Vacation time

Forums:

So I have a situation.
I have 2 daughters - 18yrs & 14yrs. My older one is graduating high school in a few days, and instead of a graduation party, she asked if we could take her to California for a few days. So, the hubby and I are taking my 2 girls to California for a 5 day vacation in June. My ex-husband is not taking our kids anywhere for vacation, so this will be their only vacation this summer.
In July, the hubby and I are going with friends to Las Vegas for 4 days.
So, in August, my husband wants to take his 3 kids on vacation to Florida....without me. I have told him that with my job I can't take vacation in August - my boss asked us not to because we are awaiting a state inspection around that time. The kids mother is also taking then on a vacation this summer.
I'm hurt and upset. I've told my husband that if the situation were reversed - if his daughter was graduating & we took his kids & then he couldn't get away from work to take mine somewhere, I just wouldn't go.
We live in Texas & are close enough to San Antonio or South Padre Island for him to do a weekend getaway.
He says that its not fair that we're taking mine and not his.
I think it's more than fair because each set of kids is still getting a vacation.
Plus, he's already griping about the cost of the 2 vacations we are taking....yet because it's his kids he's willing to sacrifice for 1 more.
Your thoughts, please.

Those are my thoughts

Those are my thoughts exactly. Just because WE are taking mine does not mean that HE has to take his. According to him, he has not told his kids about the possible vacation yet.
So then, in that case, it shouldn't be a big deal not to go...no disappointment.

He's spending his vacation

He's spending his vacation time and money to go on vacation with your kids. But taking him taking his kids on vacation is a problem. :?

If money is an issue, then him backing out of the trip with your kids should be an option. There's no way in hell I would end my vacation time and money on a vacation with my stepkids and not take one with my bio kids.

If low funds are low, why is a 5 day vacation for 4 even an option? A party is much cheaper than a vacation.

Each of you could do a trip with your bios and the couple's trip.

What happens with the other parent shouldn't matter in this at all.

Disneyfan..... I suggested

Disneyfan.....
I suggested separate trips each with our own kids...and he got offended at the thought that I would want to go without him...yet it's ok for him to go without me.
A vacation is a luxury, not a necessity.
Honestly, I feel that my daughter has earned it for graduating high school.
His kids are entitled to begin with....this just reinforces why!

Then he's an idiot because

Then he's an idiot because separate trips with the kids is the perfect solution.

Gift or vacation really

Gift or vacation really doesn't matter. Her kids are his stepkids.

Unless the OP is coverlong the cost of the trip 100%, then expecting him to help fund a trip/gift for her kid but then complaining when he wants to takehis kid on vacation is nuts.

Honestly, how many Stepmoms here who are also bio moms, would be willing to blow vacation time and money on a vacation with their SKs and not take one with their bios? If we were forced to make a choice, I'm sure the vast majority of us would opt out of the SK trip.

If a SM came here posting that her SD wanted a family vacation instead of a party, the kid would be called everything from entitled to a spoiled $$%/$.

What's wrong with each parent taking his/her bio kids on a trip and the two of them going to Vegas?

This is a tough one... I

This is a tough one...

I would be upset if my DH wanted to take a vacation with his kids and not me or mine. But...I am taking a long weekend with just my BS and DH has to work. DH is aware that we would love for him to go but due to his work he cannot. And there was NEVER any mention of skids going ever. This is acceptable as this is trip to meet BS's family and something I have promised him we would do for years. There was never any question the Skids would not be going.
If the trip for DD's graduation then the other kids should not get the same as it is not their graduation. NO different than if she wanted a party instead. WOuld the other kids get a party too just because DD did??? NO...it is a graduation gift. When the other kids graduate they should also have the choice of a part or trip.

If the finances are there for DH to take a trip with his kids then I guess there isn't much that can be said. But if DH is putting the family in financial stress to "keep things fair" then I would put my foot down and say Hell NO!!

tommar I really like you but

tommar I really like you but sometimes you can be mean I honestly have to say I would rather go camping in the wild with crazed bears for company than go on holiday with my SS. He is hard work and nothing makes him happy that we do.

We only go on holiday if I pay for it or MIL invites us on holiday. If I pay then kiddo may not come with. He really is a killjoy MIL will take him so I don't go with them. again he's a killjoy and so is she! Maybe OP has the same problem?

I think I should send you

I think I should send you Chucky when he has one of his little tanties because I won't sugar load him/ buy him an Xbox game/ he hates the toys he got for his birthday or feels there weren't enough of them. Better yet when he's just come from granny on too little sleep and too much sugar!

hehehehehe nah I like you too much for that level of mean.

lol tommar you mean

lol tommar you mean neighbourS would have awesome yards.

No my 7 year old is cleaner

No my 7 year old is cleaner and better behaved than fungus. No, I can't do it. She would not survive me.

Not with this mommy Sally. I

Not with this mommy Sally. I don't live in Disney land. I don't Disney parent and my dustpan and brush will swiftly become a permanent attachment with super glue if she misbehaves. We did not do this as teenagers and nor will my girls.

Skids are never pleased. Took

Skids are never pleased. Took all 5 kiddos to California about 2yrs ago and my daughters swore they would never go on another vacay with them. Their heads were buried in their phones or other electronic devices - which I had told my husband, just let them being one apiece, but no, he let them bring all the devices they wanted. Constantly saying they were bored, or asking what we were doing next.
I cannot travel with them.

Or if there's no money for

Or if there's no money for both trips, each parent pays for trips with their own kids.

Of course he wants wants to take his kids on vacation. I would never spend more on my SKs than I spend on my bio. If I help pay for SKS to go on vacation, you better believe I would turn around and do the same for my kids.

To be honest,I would not have agreed to the trip (unless the OP is paying for it). A party would have cost a few hundred dollars. A five day trip for 4 is going to be a hell of a lot more than that.