I am yet again going to be brutally honest - I don't really give a shit about other people's children. The man and woman who either chose to produce them or were too fucking stupid to use BC are responsible for their well being - not me. Now I believe that the state should prosecute those who abuse minor children - but I am not law enforcement.

I would never HIDE any abuse that I was aware of. Nor would I ever abuse a child. But there are millions of children who exist in the world - some have great lives - others don't. But it's not my job to go searching for children to save.

In my case my SS has long been an adult. I do not care if he drops dead because of his horrible life choices.

The parents like myself, who have spent years caring for these children, providing for them, and simultaneously not badmouthing the other parent while standing up for themselves and protecting these children, should be applauded and not attacked on these boards.

If my husband's ex-wife was a parent who did not badmouth the other parent and who protected and provided for her child, then I would applaud her. Unfortunately, she was and is, the exact opposite.

In just 1 hour you now know the back stories of everyone on the board to the point where you can make such broad generalizations? You must be a very fast reader.

"This is a forum that was created to focus on parents and step parents who care about their children."

NOPE. Right under the site's name StepTalk, it says; "Where step parents come to vent." This forum was created for those of us who deal with complex high conflict situations in our step families.

Have you tried CafeMom ?? The Step section there... I think you will really like it.

As a SM I am thankful for this place! I can vent here & actually hear from others that feel the same as I do. I don't feel that any of us would knowingly hide any abuse. We tell it like it is, no sugarcoated bullshit fairy tale endings. I don't think you like hearing what most step parents actually deal with in real life,

Keep pretending you're a perfect parent/SM over at CafeMom. They will welcome you with open arms.

LoveMyKids21.....I cannot speak for all the stepmoms here but I can say that many of us come into these relationships with open arms and we try and bend over backwards for our step children. We are an outsider and as an outsider looking in we can see problems that the bio parents cannot, or refuse, to see. We want to get along with the bio mom but many times that is rejected as all too often there is an emotional tug-of-war in process between the bio parents themselves and bio moms many times feel threatened by our willingness to come in and be a part of these children's lives. Then there are the husbands who will not step to the parent plate and pass the responsibility onto the stepmom or the husband who wants to be the holiday dad and swoops in to please but never takes on his parental role. All of thee situations are not good for the children and not good for the marriage. We stepmom spend much of our time caught up in these situations that cause us a great deal of hurt and bitterness with time. This is a safe place where we can vent. We can't vent to our inlaws, many times can't vent to our own families, many of us are not heard by our husband's so venting here gives us a since of sanity knowing what others have been thru.

As far as the abuse that you have mentioned in your post. Sadly this does happen in step families but for you to blame the stepmom?? You think we are turning a blind eye? Or we would allow this? Or don't care? How can we, as stepmom, force our steps to go anything or even force the bio parent to take action? WE CANNOT!!!!!! When you actually start looking into the rights of step parents we have none and you want to blame the stepmom? For what??

There is a very real side to stepping up to confront abuse, I have been here. Bio mom of my SS left when the boys were 2 & 4. She had no contact for 2 years. I entered my husband's life when he had been divorced 3 years. Home life was not ideal, the boys had been shifted from home to home while husband was trying to take on his role as a single dad, he was drinking heavy and had issues with porn which undoubtedly the boys had been exposed to. When I came into the picture I tried to help husband to clean up his act and be a dad for his sons. The boys needed a mom, I could see that and I took on that role. It would be another year before bio mom even knew I was in the picture. At first she wanted to use me as an informant and wanted to get information from me that she could use against my husband (BF at he time). She made it very clear to me that I was not the boy's mom and she insisted that if husband was sent away fro work that she was to have them. She was bitter and angry, had no desire to work with us or befriend me. Once she realized I was not going to be her informant she wanted her sons and she did what she could to destroy any connection I could have with them.

The boys were dealing with abandonment from their bio mom and my daughters were dealing with the same with bio dad out o the picture too. The oldest two kids were drawn to one another which eventually lead to abuse which we knew nothing about until 10 years after it had stopped. Up until this point I had dealt with the boys like they were my own, they called me mom. Bio mom was not a consistent part of the picture. I dealt with stealing, fire setting, general disrespect, poor behavior, hateful attitudes, porn as the boys got older.....I could go on and on, typical stuff that families deal with.....only thing is I felt I was doing it all single handed. Husband just wanted me to take care of everything. Yet he was not a real good support and he was not real good about communication. Bio mom kept threatening to legally file for custody and would tell the boys I hated them when I dealt with issues so there was this crazy circle of dynamics that created great hardships.

Up until I was told about the abuse the boys wished me a happy birthday, even as adults. They gave me cards on Mother's day. When I found out about the abuse I did not just to accuse. I asked questions to all the kids. The girls were willing to talk but the boys were not and at that point the boys cut me out of their lives. There was no way to force these then adult children into therapy and there was no way that the boys were willing to sit and talk. Since this happened I have heard all kinds of false accusations, things I supposedly said and did that never happened. This creates hard feelings. I was the one trying to help my family mend so when you say these things about stepmoms being to blame, you really need to step into the shoes of these people like myself. These situations are extremely difficult and until you have lived them yourself you have no idea what you would do or can say what other should do or how they should react.

Feeling judgy, high and mighty today, are we?

Lmao. My advice to you is that you should print your post up on a little piece if paper. Roll it up and push it up your bum.

Re: "After reviewing various posts within the last hour, it is clear that many(but not all) of the posters seem to be trying to get confirmation from others that they are good parents, while posting that they have failed to report sexual abuse, pedophilic relationships, and on and on."

Please provide examples of this.

It's going to hurt when you fall off that pedestal, darling. Don't come whining to anyone here about your bruised ass when it happens. You'll find no sympathy.