So Tired of the Dumb Act
My DH and I have been married for 2 years. We have a total of 6 kids together 2 are mines, 3 are his, and one together. We were at dinner on a holiday and his Ex calls him at 8:30pm while I was sitting there and we were laughing at a video on his phone. I saw her name, and he answers... I'm thinking this must be important because its a holiday, after 8pm, and his daughter is 14 with her own phone. So he nervously tells her that he'll have to bring the money over to her tomorrow. But he doesn't say "I'll have to bring it"... He says "the money" then I can tell it was some hesitation and he abruptly hung up. It was obvious to me that she knew nothing about what he was claiming and she didn't catch on to his signal. She calls back again and he sends her to voicemail, then while we're still looking at the phone, a paragraph text message comes across the screen and the first line stated "You fake ass...." and he immediately closed it. Now, this woman obviously knows we are married. The only logical explanation for her to think she is "above" getting hung up on when his wife is around, is that he's lied and made her think things are different. When confronted as to why she's tripping out, he claims she's mad because he was supposed to bring over some money for the daughter. So I say, well its after 8pm on Sweetest Day ( a midwestern holiday) why does she need it now???? He changes it and says, "Oh yea and she's probably mad because I just hung up on her". So I say well if she's so upset and needs the money, we'll drop it off after dinner. He says "NO, I'll take it to her tomorrow." Ofcourse I blow up and say, "Why not now"... .He comes up with every excuse in the book. Now, he's trying to reverse the entire thing saying that I'm ruining our marriage by not trusting him.
Sounds to me like there are
Sounds to me like there are two possibilities as to why he does not want you around when he gives her the money. He thinks you will be mad about the amount, or he wants to be alone when he is with BM. Are there issues when you are around her? Or is there a chance they have some unresolved feeling with which to deal? Something doesn't sound right.
I must be missing
I must be missing something.... it's too late time wise and an improper evening for phone/message, but it's not too late time wise nor an improper evening to run money over to BM instead of waiting until tomorrow ?
So what is the money for? And what's the big deal if you see a 'bring me cash' message?
It bothers me that now that
It bothers me that now that people have cell phones, others expect you to answer the phone whenever they call. If I'm busy, I don't answer the phone. If I don't feel like talking, I don't answer the phone. If something is important people know how to reach me.
Your DH is being shady. First, he should not have taken her call while he was out with you. Second, if he's delivering some money, you should be aware of it.
I also think BM is being shady. Presumably, she knew it was Sweetest Day, so why was she insisting she see her EX husband on that day.
One or both of them are still psychologically married to one another.
When DH was still taking calls from BM, she called him three times when we were away for my birthday. She knew it was my birthday, because even though she and I are not friends, she called to tell DH to wish me a happy birthday. He didn't answer any of her calls. She then texted when we were on our way home and said, "please call me." Then when he called her, she started making small talk. I was like "WTF?!" They aren't friends, but she loved to act like they were. It was so weird to me, because she would make these calls and then later would be calling and texting to tell him he was a deadbeat dad or that he didn't care about his children. She definitely used DH as her confidante and her emotional outlet, even though she was already remarried by the time I met DH.