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Same-Sex step-parents

Ce_Anx's picture

Submitted by Ce_Anx on Mon, 03/19/2012 - 9:25am

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General Discussion

I am relatively new here, and have been finding alot of interesting and good advice on the forums, which has been a blessing knowing that I am not the only one going through this sort of thing.

I was wondering if there were any same-sex step-parents with whom I could relate to?

Some of the issues relating to the problems I am facing are due to the fact that my partner and I are in a same sex relationship, and teenage SD has homophobic tendancies towards my SO and I. This is an obvious weakness when used against us/me.

I am also curious to hear some stories of other same-sex parents who may be going through difficult times with their children.

Ce_Anx's picture

Submitted by Ce_Anx on Mon, 03/19/2012 - 9:37am

Thank you for your kind words Smile and ditto to you Smile

I was reading through the General section and have come across a similar post to mine and reading through that Smile

herewegoagain's picture

Submitted by herewegoagain on Mon, 03/19/2012 - 9:37am

Wow, that's a tough one. Unfortunately, because there are still so many who do not agree with same sex relationships, I can only imagine that it's just one more thing to fuel the fire...sigh. I can say that if you check online, there have been studies done that the people who are the most against it are also those who are "aroused" by it... lol

Now of course, there may be some who are against it for religious reasons and to those, I have always found that there is a "I can do this which is against my religion, but YOU can't do that because it's against my religion." I would poke some holes into that one and try to have a conversation with the kid on religion in general if that is the case.

There are also some studies that suggest that same sex parents can do as good a job raising kids as heterosexual couples.

I have to say that I am very sorry you are in this position. Not because of you or your partner, but because I can only imagine having to deal with even more crap from an ex and skid than we already do.

Here's a link for you to start Smile

http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/11/06/are-same-sex-couples-bette...

PS - one of my best friends is in a same sex relationship, they adopted a little boy, he is the most polite and well taken care of boy that I know. Even my father who was a bit thrown back by the adoption and doesn't really like kids much lol, has learned to see that they too can be great parents and sometimes do a better job than others too!

Ce_Anx's picture

Submitted by Ce_Anx on Mon, 03/19/2012 - 10:01am

Thanks herewegoagain.

I am aware of the research that indicates that same sex parents are capable of bringing up children. And there are also some people on either side of the fence that probably shouldn't have kids!

In my situation, my partner has two kids both by donor - and no ex involved.
We have been together for 3 years. Both of us come from strict christian backgrounds, and run our household with strong emphasis on good morals and values.

SD15 doesn't 'agree' with our relationship, but admits that it doesn't really have anything to do with the fact that we are same-sex. Yet, many times SD has insulted us to our faces, and often tells her mother that she doesn't like seeing us be affectionate in front of her. I try not to do anything (hugging, quick pecks, arm around shoulder etc) while she is in the room, but I don't always know when she is entering a room.
SS10 doesn't have a problem with it at all. He is a gem, and says the funniest things. We think he loves the added attention and affection from me, and I know that too because when we are sitting together and I put my arm around him, he leans in closer. My partner says that makes her happy knowing he has two people in his life that love him and are there for him.