You are here

Purely Hypothetical Question

editorgrl's picture

My BF's ex-wife has the same first name as me. I thought about if we ever got married and if I took his last name... I feel that it would be somewhat strange since there had already been a first wife with the same first and last name. Plus, his bio-kids have his last name. What would you do - keep your maiden, hyphenate, ...

Note: the ex-wife is now going by her maiden.

GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

I'd hyphenate. Or start using your initial. In my case if she had been Susan Jones, I'd be Susan B. Jones. But I think I'd be more likely to go with Susan Jones-Smith, unless you have a name that would sound wierd.

As far as the ex losing the right to use his last name if they divorce...not necessarily. If my spouse and I divorced, I'd keep the last name unless I remarried, because that is my children's last name. If I remarried, I would still keep my children's last name, and I would hyphenate, especially since I own my own business and I don't want to change my name.

editorgrl's picture

Yes, I thought about the hyphenation. I just thought that the ex probably wouldn't appreciate me having the same last name as her children.

I was thinking "Jane Smith-BFLastName"

But it's all just ideas that have run through my head... who knows if it will ever be a reality.

twopines's picture

>>>I just thought that the ex probably wouldn't appreciate me having the same last name as her children.<<<

I wouldn't worry about it too much. She doesn't have the same last name as her children now, so it must not mean all that to her.

GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

I wouldn't give a rat's ass if she liked it or not.

However, I think hyphenation is a good idea, especially legally, because otherwise you could be mistaken for her under legal circumstances. What if she sticks you with her bills? Or does things to garner a bad reputation? Or heaven forbid gets a warrant for her arrest? Awkward.

realitycheckmom's picture

I agree you want something to differentiate the two of you. The last thing you want is something coming up on her and you getting stuck with it since you would have the same name and spouse. You would have the burden of proof on you.

Totallyfedup84's picture

I would keep my last name! Why not? More power to u girl for keeping it, after all it's you're and who the hell said we women have to give up our last names anyways?? And I def wouldn't switch to his if his ex wife once had the same title!! Sick !! It would but me way too much cause she's a snatchbox.

Hanna's picture

^^^^^^ like ^^^^^^^

I decided to keep my name. And once I have kids of my own, plan to hyphen their last name (his-mine or maybe even mine-his). Hahahaha!

oncechoosetosmile's picture

SO has the annoying habit to call his daughter SD7 with her first and last name in a very cheeeeewwwwwy way to make it sound very, very SPECIAL, like "Jessieee Milllllllllleeeeeeerrrr "(=fake name), so it sounds like the whole team daddy -daughter belonging family thing: Milllleeeeeeeeerrrrrrrr!!!!!!!. I don't know what I would do if we would get married, I didn't give that any thought because it is not on the agenda right now.I think I would need to keep my ex name because it's also my childrens last name.I think I will also copy his weird habit of calling SD the first and lst name and try to apply that to my kids- since I have three it will probably very annoying though.....hehehe, plus we have a long German name and it will sound more like "Walter Schwabbelbabbelmaxxxxx" (fake name:))...maybe SO realises that we are special, too:))))))

LRP75's picture

I would keep my own last name -- just because it would be hard, legally, to be differentiated from the ex. Who knows what can come back up from the past and if you could potentially become her.

I'd just keep my last name.

stepmisery's picture

Keep your own name. Otherwise it's like you are an attempt to replace her..mmm... recreate her. I hope you don't look like her.

The main reason I would keep my own name in such a situation is you never know how BSC the ex might get. She might have taken her married name now but she might have old DL, SS card, and whatever else papers that other people will think she is the current and legal wife.

She could wreak some havoc on you legally and financially by posing as you, and yes she might end up in jail or prison or something but in the meantime your life could be wrecked.

Get HIM to take your last name. Wink

editorgrl's picture

No, thank god, we do not look alike! I'm so much better looking! Blum 3

Obviously this is something that won't be an issue for a long time, if ever. I just have thought about it as something interesting that may come up.