Problems adjusting
I am so depressed right now, I can barely find the strength emotionally or physically to do anything. My bf has 5 kids and 4 of them are girls. They are all way too old to be sleeping with him because the youngest one is 7. I told him that this bothers me and I don't want kids in our bed. He got angry and blew up at me over that...saying that I was making a big deal over nothing. But it seriously freaks me out and feels very creepy. They are coming over this weekend and I want to leave. I am dreading it. I have ptsd and it is in full blown overdrive right now.
Here's an example everything I do on a daily basis:
Sell online
laundry,
cooking and cleaning
errands
pick him up and drop him off at work (he does not have his own car)
The other night he told me I have been living for free and was screaming and yelling at me, then he came back later and told me he was sorry and he didn't mean it that way etc. He then told me I do alot and he couldn't ask for more. He screams and yells at me when I say or do something wrong.
He is often demanding, condescending and rude. He tells me he loves me but doesn't want to cuddle or kiss me often, leaving me feeling very alone. When I first came out here, he had nothing No phone no bank account no car and no money. I had a nest egg and it has been completely used up. He now has a job and I drive him there every day, pick him up everyday and did everything I could to please him. However, it never seems like enough. I am emotionally and physically drained. He and his ex wife get along so well its almost sickening. It makes me feel like "Does he only treat me this way?" He's completely different when he's talking to her. He is also wildly overprotective about his kids. I can ask how are they doing? And he will snap back at me.
... and what is it you are
... and what is it you are getting from this relationship?
Get out and run! That's not
Get out and run! That's not going to get better!
I sure hope there is a
I sure hope there is a wonderful man out there who will value me. I feel so worthless and just destroyed beyond repair. I mean absolutely nothing to him compared to his kids. I hope it's not too late for me. I have no kids of my own and he just said all the right things in the beginning. I am so lost and so depressed. I feel like no one could ever love me or value me now. All my self confidence is gone.
Get rid of this loser. You're
Get rid of this loser. You're not even married. Can't think of a single reason for you to continue living like this for any longer than it takes to save some money to get your own place.
In the meantime, be sure to layer your birth control (for example, use a condom even though you're on the pill).
The last thing you want is to be bound to this loser for life.
Be afraid. Be VERY afraid!
Be afraid. Be VERY afraid! This guy is a world-class user/loser. It's NOT going to get better. You'll never be good enough, or do enough, to please him.
GET OUT NOW!
So you're the volunteer cook,
So you're the volunteer cook, cleaning, chauffeur (in your own car no less), used for sex AND AN ATM. Do you have a sister? If she'll do that for me I'd love to meet her.
During his next full day of work you drop him off and go back and move all your stuff out of the house. You don't pick him up as I am seriously concerned he'll hurt you if you're around when he discovers you're leaving. If that would leave the kids alone then stick with them, bring him home and drive away as soon as he steps out of the car.
Stay with your mother, other relative or friend until you can get back on your feet. You must feel you're in a prisoner of war camp or something crazy.
Do you have family close by,
Do you have family close by, that will understand your situation? Its hard when you dont have the emotional support you need.
you may feel theres no way out, or your trapped.
Abuse comes in all forms, but this one sounds as if he may have serious control issues. He may have tried to isolate you, in order for you to feel powerless.
If you dont have a network of support, your not stuck there. If you google women's shelters or women's abuse support networks, you will find there may be quite a few in your community.
The important thing is not feeling alone.