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monkeyboy2030's picture

Submitted by monkeyboy2030 on Sat, 04/16/2011 - 6:07am

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Two male skids, 8 and 4, visit EOW, and 50 days this summer. BF has trained skids to hate me, but we have a reasonable relationship, not that I don't think they are COMPLETELY SPOILED and brats. Married to DW for 2 years, have good relationship, but have been unable to concieve, so looking into adoption.

Anyway - am a surgeon, called into work Friday morning EARLY, and worked full day, and am way tired by 8 PM. I want to go to sleep, and ask that the skids stay in there room (across the house thank goodness) and not use loud toys unless in that room. She says "we agreed on 10 PM". Now - keep in mind this is an improvement. There have been times that she let them stay up all night. Fine with me, they sleep during the day, and I don't have to deal with them. But the 4 yo became cranky. Keep in mind, the 4 you is still not potty trained (keeps sh*tting in his underwear - why do we not put him in diapers?), and they sleep together in bed because that's what they do at their Dad's house.

I love my wife, and I have tried to love skids, but they are invaders into my house, and I wish I could turn a dial and they were 18 and gone, so I could get on with my life.

Any thoughts, advice and opinions would be appreciated.

Geema's picture

Submitted by Geema on Sat, 04/16/2011 - 7:36am

Luckily you only have them every other weekend and not full time. Your wife is not teaching her kids to respect others or themselves it sounds like. Why would you want another child with this woman? It sounds as if you may not be ready for the added responsibility right now either.

Are you asking skids stay in their room the entire time you are home? That would not be a reasonable request. Asking them to hold down the noise so you can sleep is though.

If your wife is one of those parents who simply gives in to her children and spoils them rather than make an effort to parent them, then you have a long and unhappy road ahead. At least you have your work to escape to.

My DH has not fully potty trained his seven year old son either. It is gross and appalling. I think your wife needs to step up the potty training as the 4 year old will be starting school soon. If the skids biological father isn't keeping up with it, then it may take longer. Your wife should be making that a priority though.

If you can afford it you may consider a nanny with some common sense and training to help out.

cookiemonster08's picture

Submitted by cookiemonster08 on Sat, 04/16/2011 - 12:13pm

I think how someone parents shows a lot about their character. Why doesn't your wife have more then EOW? Anyone with any sense would know that a 4 year old should be in bed before 10pm and especially not let them stay up all night. Do you really want to raise a child like this? Your DW isn't going to change what kind of parent she is just because its "your" kid. I'd personally buy her some parenting books and see if she is open to being a more responsible parent first.