WOW!!! WTF (freak) is going on there? I dont understand. when I hear someone lets their grown kids crawl in bed with them like that, why. DH should address this issue. I would be furious to. Did you even ask him why he is so comfortable with what is going on? Sure he likes the attention but when it affects the WIFE and he says nothing there is a problem. I often tell my DH to put himself in my shoes and see how he would feel. Maybe you should try that. Then ask him if he lacks attention. DH knows that irritates you and that this type of behavior from the kids arent normal. I guess he is not worried since he is the one getting the unhalthy attention. He needs to put his foot down instead of throwing his covers back. Try and have a good day anyway. I know it is hard bc I sit her with bags under my eyes from WANTING to cry from a rant my SD put on me the other night and DH just sat there but we are going to counceling and maybe that may help him to. I dont know. It is worth a try. I am still WOW'n. Wish you luck and pray before you go in the house.

This is more than just a little disgusting. I'm surprised that DH isn't skeeved by this already. She's not 6 - she's 15! - A young adult and more than just a little inappropriate - this is bordering incestuous and your DH needs to stop it NOW. I agree with Echo that it needs to be pointed out to him how nasty this all is because I have to say, this is almost sounding like SD has a little bit of an Electra complex going on and it sounds like DH isn't discouraging that.

In my situation, my DH didn't allow his daughters on our bed at all by the time they turned 9 or 10 and was very careful to always be appropriate with them. That being said, after YSD19 left our house last year and DH finished packing up the rest of her belongings for her, he noticed that SD had gone through our room, into our drawers and stolen pics of DH from when he was around her age and had put them in the drawer of her nightstand next to her bed - right on the top of the pile of everything in there. DH was beyond grossed out with the idea that his daughter was possibly looking at her father as something other than a dad. The fact that your DH has a flippant attitude about his 15 year old just hopping into bed with him scares me. :jawdrop:

The not knocking...I'd have a fit over...cuddling with Dad not so much.
I used to love to nap in my parents bed because it smelled like my dad. It's a safety thing and I think its natural.
I wouldn't think a thing of it if our SS22, SS24 or SD15 crawled in bed with us. My husband is very affectionate with his kids. I've seen him hold his daughter who's 15 like a baby when she's had an asthma attack. He also still kisses his 22 year old on the forehead.

My husband might be under the covers with any of the kids watching a movie in bed and having popcorn...I'm not jealous of that, however my SD used to try to get him to sleep with her until he was probably 8. I put a stop to that.

All of my Skids are younger. For the first few months, FDH and I lived in a 1 Bedroom Apt and we would all sit on the bed and watch a movie. We treated it more like a couch. Now, we have 3 bedrooms and our door is shut and locked and they are not allowed in. FDH cuddles with the girls on the couch in the living room or playroom, but our room is strictly off limits! It is NOT acceptable for her to be in bed with them, and I'm sure the Department of Health and Human Services and CPS would feel the same way. Give him THAT angle! BM could call CPS on him for this and he could be labeled a molester!

Quick hug and peck on the cheek good morning is my idea of normal...laying in bed with someone is a different story...lack of boundaries for sure. I would have been mortified to be laying around with my father on his bed at that age and I was a big daddy's girl.

This is my opinion but if she came in to say good morning plopped down on top of the covers/bed then I wouldn't be so creeped out by it. But if she was under the covers at 15 with her dad. That creeps me out. Did he have pj's on? Did she have appropriate pj's on?

Girls and Boys should be taught that there is appropriate clothing to wear in front of other people even your parents and siblings. There is snuggling and then there is "snuggling" and any adult and most children know the difference.

Girls are not all that different than boys maybe we don't have the "outie" that shows what we are feeling but we still have all of those same urges going on inside!

Is it her fault or his fault? Where should your anger be directed? Who is the child here and who should be overseeing her education, morals?

So read your DH the riot act and demand a new mattress. 15 yr old girls do NOT snuggle in an incestuous manner in bed with their fathers. I woul so sleep elsewhere tonight.

Dupe.

Newwife is right on the $$$ goincrazy, take pics with your cell next time and ask him if he's comfy with them going on line. If it happens again, in addition to the pics I would tilt my head and ask him sweetly if he had a boner while he was in bed with her. But I'm a bitch.

I would stay out of the whole appropriate/inappropriate thing since your So doesn't agree with you.

I would just tell him that that cuddling in MY bed violates MY personal boundaries and it will not happen again (this usually works for me because I rarely, if ever, draw a line in the sand like that.)

He doesn't even have to understand it, but I ask for so few things to be exactly my way, he can respect one of the few things I ask for.

If he doesn't comply, I'd seriously think about DTMFA.

I think in every relationship people NEED to be able to respect each other's personal boundaries.

He and his daughter both need to get professional help NOW. This is clearly warped in their minds if they think it is acceptable and ok. I say "they" because at 15 she is almost an adult and a sexual young woman. My advice would be to insist on the two of them going to counseling or therapy. Even if they look at you like you are crazy, you will be making the clear point that their behavior is not normal and definitely could be mistaken for incestuous behavior. Ugh, what a mess. Best of luck. Very difficult situation.

That is just f-ing gross! My SD used to do that when she was 4! But I put my foot down really quickly and it stopped. It only took a few nights of letting her cry and not running up to her and giving in. I was surprised how quickly it stopped actually. She's almost 13 now, and she doesn't try that on him, but he's been pretty clear about physical boundaries with her. I would seriously flip out if she did this!

EEEEEWWW!!!!! That is so disgusting! Is there something wrong with this girl?! She's 15...why the hell would any 15 year old in her right mind sleep in bed with her dad??!!......Why would any 15 year old sleep in bed with his mom?!!! ...I bet if kids at school knew..they would never stop making fun of her. Does she think she's still 10?...And what the heck is wrong with the father for allowing this.

Alot of teens are sexually active at 15 nowadays...and even if they're not...they know everything about sex...it's just terribly wrong to sleep with the parents in bed at that age. This is disturbing! :sick:

You know now that I think about it...my step son grosses me out with his clinginess to his dad. He always wants to be on his lap...he comes into our bed at night...and today he sat on his dad's lap and was kissing him on the cheek than it appeared that he was trying to kiss his dad on the lips..and he was trying to use his tongue...and my hubby turned his mouth away and gave him his cheek....Now I know he's only six and is probably just immitating what he see's his Psycho mom do with her husband but I was still surprised that hubby never said anything to him about it.....I mean what if he tries it with another adult who just happens to be sick in the head. If my kid did that...I would tell him he is to never use his tongue when kissing people...only a kiss on the cheek.

What's wrong with these parents, why cant they teach their kids boundaries?!!!
It pisses me off.

I think children need to be in their own beds, their own rooms, by themselves. You want to hug or snuggle go to the living room. 15 seems very old to be doing this. My 10 year old gets a kiss on the forehead and then nighty night. Lights out. I think the kids should NEVER be sauntering into an adults bedroom, this is how I was raised and out of respect for your parents you need to be out. But STEPKIDS get away with murder. God forbid daddy goes in another room, without being followed. Get the FUCK OUT. I would have blown up and I have. It is a game. A dangerous one too.

Y'know, even when my SD-16 was 11y/o, she knew she wasn't allowed to sleep in our bed.

Even if she had a nightmare from hell, she would come & knock on our bedroom door & ask to be comforted, or ask to sleep in the livingroom, on the couch, (right outside our bedroom),but she never asked to sleep in bed with us.

Although, I do remember one time, she had been up and down all night long, driving me crazy with her bad dreams...And I finally said to DH, "If we want to get any sleep at all, let's go sleep in her room." It was one of those weekends when only she was "allowed" to come, and the skids bed is a double over double bunk-bed. Even then SD slept in her own bed & me & dad slept together in the bottom bunk. SD woke up again, scared the scrap out of me, I forgot where I was, sat up @ 60 m/ph and got knocked the fuck back down when my head connected with the upper bunk....

And that was the first, last, and ONLY time that happened!

Hi Ripley,

I'm glad you talked to your DH about this creepy situation. I just wanted to share with you what my marriage counselor said about my complaints of my oldest SS coming in our room and rifling and helping himself to my belongings. I think the advice will help you too.

My counselor said that your bedroom should be off limits period the end. The child should not even knock on the door when you are in there. It is a more or less sacred place for you and your spouse only. I'm sure she would be horrified at the thought of you going in to her room and climbing in her bed.

It's YOUR room, YOUR space and she needs some clear-cut boundaries.

Good luck.

My bed is the ONLY thing I have left - steps can't have NICE things anymore SOOOOOOOO NO CHILDREN IN MY BED! They are stinky, dirty (reguardless if they JUST had a bath) kids are dirty - putting boogers in sheets, biting their nails and leaving the nails laying around NO NO NO NO! Since our brats have been about 4 and 6 I made a RULE - absolutely NO kids in OUR BED!

1. What if she went to school and said, "I sleep in bed with my dad." WHAT WOULD PEOPLE THINK?

2. YOUR bed with your husband is a place where you sleep with one another, cuddle, have intimate relations - Does this NOT kill the romance knowing that a kid he made with someone else has been in YOUR bed?

YOU NEED TO ABSOLUTELY TELL HIM SHE IS NOT PERMITTED IN YOUR ROOM! If he doesn't like it - he can GET!