I was hesitant on posting this but I saw posts on digging through spouses phones and decided to post anyway- might be long

FDH was cheated on by XW (he also did some himself) and his XGF (1 before me)

Background: LAst weekend FDH offered to take his grandson for the ENTIRE weekend without talking to me about it. I was irritated bc while I don't mind him over it's a lot of work for me and it's not how I planned on spending my weekend. All I asked was that SD21 pick up her kid before the game on Sunday so I could chill and relax before the week started. So I cooked, cleaned, did laundry and listened to tattling all freaking weekend.

Sunday morning, FDH says oh, SD15 is coming over to watch the game with us............UGH!!!!!! WTF, I was so frustrated- On top of it, he text SD21 and said Come on over for dinner Sunday night and pick up grandson :jawdrop:

Really FDH???

ALL I asked was to have her pick him up by 3 and you fed me some BS to pacify me and told her something different and my relaxing late afternoon evening was now ruined bc EVERYONE was coming over. How inconsiderate of FDH, I was pissed.

So I left- I made plans with a friend and met with her and watched the game, had a great time. FDH was beyond pissed- He could not believe I left. I said, Well you made your own plans despite what I had planned so I did the same. You make your bed, you lie in it.

I ran into 2 guys I knew, One from church I hadn't seen in years and another who is just an aqaintance who was completly wasted with his friends. Quick hi and bye-no big deal, HOWEVER BOTH guys FB me that same night after I was home. One msg said "weird seeing you" another said "Whats up"

While I was getting ready for birthday dinner, FDH checked FB on my phone, seen the messages (I have nothing to hide) and waited until we got to the restaurant to bring it up and he was blazing mad (I thought it was awkward he was so quiet on the drive). He was interrogating me, it didn't matter what I said he thought I was guilty of something I didn't do- he thinks I was flirting and asked if I was the "blue light special" since 2 guys in one night msg'd me from the same place. And it all made since to him bc I was mad at him when I left.

He embarrassed me during dinner by talking loud and acting like an asshole and we fought ALL night. I never did anything wrong. He says I lied to him, and I would be the same way if I found msg's too from the night he went out. He did not ask- he accused and I didn't do anything wrong. I'm angry, hurt, beyond disappointed and saw a side of FDH I have never seen in the few years we have been together. He came off as a controlling insecure asshole, and he was drinking on top of everything else which made it that much worse.

I was going to leave last night and he freaked out and started back peddling and turning it all on me that I'm just gonna walk away and that I don't love him anymore- I was so tired of repeating myself and defending myself when I didn't do anything. I was so excited to make him feel special and he ruined the whole night, I honestly haven't been that disappointed since my kids dad stopped coming around.

I am devastated. I'm not trying to be a drama queen but I NEVER thought our relationship would be THIS dysfunctional, I don't know where this came from, he has NEVER been like this EVER to me. Today he apologized and said he did over react but he is very hurt :?

I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!!!!!! Why is he so hurt?? So now if I want to meet with my friends he's going to think some dumb shit?? And he says he knows I would never cheat on him......what is he so worried about? I'm confused, drained and angry. I've distanced myself all day and he's showering me with the "I love you's" etc and I can't even respond I'm still upset.

I know this is not normal behavior. And to be honest I'm fucking pissed I've wasted so much time and stress with his fucking kids and he has the balls to wrongfully accuse me of talking and flirting with guys bc I was mad at him.......

Can someone tell me what the fuck is going on here????