Life Insurance Etiquette???
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So DH just told me that he just (they have been broken up for 3years people) took his ex-wife off of their life insurance. DH told me that he has put me down to recieve 20% and each of his kids 40% each!!!! Ok..am I a mega bitch for being really pissed off and hurt about this? I'm the one who the debt and TWO mortgages would be passed down to!! Not the 6 and 10 year old. Like WTF.I'm really hurt and mad. I've never encountered this before....is it normal...anybody else dealt with this one?
When I die, My money goes
When I die, My money goes into a trust that my dh will live on the interest. Every 5 yrs or so chunks of the principal are distributed to my kids.
When he dies, his two sons will split his life insurance. I'll continue to get his pension. his daughter will get nothing.
You arrangements should be
You arrangements should be exactly the same! I do not have a child so my estate (which involves family assets) goes to my nieces. I do not expect my partner to leave me any assets that he had before we met, they should go to his daughter.
Any property we buy in the future will be left half to him and half to my nieces but with an inclusion in the will that we can enjoy lifetime interest in the property. I expect him to have the same in his will.
Perhaps you should change your will so it is even.
REMEMBER: Friends don't let
REMEMBER: Friends don't let Friends become Stepparents!
Love it, thank you for the giggle!!!
If her DH died and the kids
If her DH died and the kids were minors, they would get SOCIAL SECURITY which might even be more than CS. She on the other hand will get NOTHING, unless she is old enough to qualify for social security. So, exactly why do you think the kids should get not only social security, which will take care of them if he dies while they are minors, but ALSO 80% of his inheritance? While the wife might be 40-50+ and her income will be cut by 1/2 for mortage and all other payments they have joint? It's a crock of crap that he is leaving his kids so much. If he wants to worry more about his kids, then the ahole shouldn't be married. When you are married YOUR WIFE COMES FIRST. PERIOD. Of course, his kids will NOT do without because they will still have a BM and social security, while the rug gets pulled from the SMOMs feet!
PS - if the kids are over 18, then they should support themselves at that point...if he wants to leave them SOMETHING, that is one thing...80% is outrageous.
They are not getting 80% of
They are not getting 80% of his inheritance, just 80% of the life insurance. Social Security is very minimal and will not cover college.
If 20% is not enough for OP to be comfortable with, they can always purchase a second policy that goes 100% to her.
I have thought of doing this,
I have thought of doing this, myself. DH put his mom down as the beneficiary of his life insurance after he divorced his exwife and before we met. I didn't really push the issue until we had a baby together; he *says* he's changed it so that it gets split 3 ways (me, DD, SS - with me as the executor for SS), but I'm not sure I beleive him. He has a tendency to just tell me what I want to hear to shut me up. I know through our home/auto insurance co. we can also get life insurance and since I'm his wife, I just his need his info. Yeah, thinking hard about this one.
My wife gets it all if I
My wife gets it all if I pre-decease her. I get it all if she pre-deceases me and if we co-decease it goes in to trust for the kid (my SS-20) until he turns 40yo or finishes a BS from an accredited College/University. I have been his dad since he was 1yo and he is my kid. The Trust is to be executed by my younger brother and/or my dad independently.
We are primary beneficiaries on each other's life insurance and the kid is secondary. 100% of life insurance goes to the primary unless the primary pre-deceases the secondary.
We set it up this way to protect our estate from the SpermIdiot and the SpermClan in the event that we passed before SS turned 18.
I think were I you that I would speak to your DH about this and tell him that YOU are the primary on all of his policies unless the Custody/Visitation/Support order requires that he maintain a policy for your Skids. In that case or the case that he insists on a policy where the Skids are the beneficiaries then he can get a separate policy to adress this until the kids both are 18yo or older. At that point those policies revert to you as the beneficiary.
My own parents would never make my brother or I beneficiary over or equal to the survivor of their marriage when one of them passes. The thought that your DH would relegate his spousea secondary position financially to his kids as far as his estate/insurance is concerns disgusts me.
Personally I would not stand for it.
Good luck.
It is insurance on a life
It is insurance on a life that goes to a designated beneficiary upon the death of the insured. There are two primary types. Term and Whole/Universal.
Whole or Universal polices are an investment product that gains cash value over time that is tied to the value of the account. Premiums are deposited in to the account to cover the payout upon the death of the insured. There is also an anuity element to the product based on the investment value of the policy. Talk to an agent or broker for the details.
Term life is a lump sum product that is paid to the beneficiary if the insured passes during the term of the policy (usually 20 years). Premiums are paid to the insurance company. If the term of the policy expires prior to the death of the insured then there is no pay out or cash value for the policy.
Term is pure insurance and the least expensive route that maximizes insurance coverage for the premium dollar.
Unversal Life or Whole Life policies are a hybrid product, tend to be very expensive compared to the level of coverage, and do accrue a cash value element over time.
Many bread winners in US families carry life insurance that is paid to their spouse or children should they die. It is a way to hedge the support of a spouse/children upon the demise of a bread winner.
I hope this helps with your question.
Life insurance: If you win
Life insurance: If you win you lose. If you lose you win. 20% enough to have him cremated.
Along with the two mortgages, I presume, comes title to the house. Although not a happy solution the house can be sold to pay off the debt and hopefully you'll be better off than the day you met him. (Excluding current economic problems in the housing industry).
Being a second wife among other things means you will be sharing with his first family. At least he's not one of those who never got around to taking his ex off the policy at all.
No.
No.
No. A beneficiary can be
No. A beneficiary can be anyone but must be designated by the policy holder/insured.
PS - one day out of the blue
PS - one day out of the blue go into the website for social security...you can now see what survivor benefits are...maybe if he sees how much his kids will get "to help raise them", which will probably be more than CS alone, he will GET IT THROUGH HIS SKULL that he is being absolutely unfair....as you will get NOTHING.
I'm 100% beneficiary to DH's
I'm 100% beneficiary to DH's Life Insurance and Retirement plan. He has no Bio Kids but before we married, his Ex was the Beneficiary of everything because he's the acting Father to her 8yr old brat. I will set aside 25% in a trust for that kid to get when he graduates from College. I don't care for him or his Mother but my Husband does care for him so I'll respect that if the worse happened. I wouldn't be surprised if the BM didn't somehow still have her own policy for DH that he doesn't know about. I don't know how SSI works in these cases--don't know if child would get that since he's the "legal" Father or if I'd get it as surviving spouse. Hmm. Should probably check into that.
As for me, my Husband gets 70% and my daughter gets 30%. She's 22 so not a child who'll need care if I died. He will have bills to pay though and will not have my income.
We just sold our house due to job transfer and now renting but when we buy again next year, beneficiary will be each other. My daughter will be secondary if something happened to both of us.
How long have you been
How long have you been married? A couple of years?
His arrangement sounds totally fair, IMO.
If you don't like it, take out another policy and be the sole beneficiary.
My DH gets 20%. I am my kids' only available bioparent. If something happens to me, they are taken care of.
I can't imagine any decent
I can't imagine any decent parent not wanting to arrange to take care of their minor children after they are gone, even if they have another surviving parent. I think there are understandable differences in opinion on what the division of assets should be, but I can't imagine anyone saying if they die, all their assets should go to their spouse and their minor children are out of luck.
My will leaves my money to my
My will leaves my money to my children and my sister-in-law, not my husband. I will turn in my urn if my money goes to anyone else other than my family! This state is notorious for awarding the BM monies that the NCP gets that we didn't want to chance it. Once the child turns 18 and is no longer a minor, we can change our wills back to what they were before.
WOW, no you are not being a
WOW, no you are not being a bitch. When me and DH had to have this lovely converstation I explained it to him, if you die before me, all your share of house and money goes to BM until kids are 18. do you want me to live somewhere which I pay MORE for to go to that BITCH?! we are both 100% beneficiaries on each other's life insurance. Secondry is 'any biological or adopted child' meaning his share will go between all of his kids and mine will go to my kids (not step kids). this is purely becasue they are not mine, i love them but they have their 2 parents to look after them after death, why should my child have to split her inheritance.
speak to him because that is not far and could end up with a very difficult time for you if the hworst did happen.
DH split his up. I think
DH split his up. I think 60/40 between me and SS. I would have a hard time making mortgage payments on just my income.
My children are adults but I have had a policy for them since they were small that is made out to them only. I am their only parent so that will be their only inheritance.
I have another policy that is made out to DH to cover burial, medical expenses etc.
Having had a husband pass
Having had a husband pass away, it's not all lollipops and rainbows just because you get some money. I received all of the life insurance which was only $110,000. That didn't pay off everything we owed and it was a mistake not to have more. Unless he has a large policy and your 20% will pay everything you need to rethink things.
He wants you to be able to maintain your home, but he wants to leave something for the kids. Their BM will receive SS for them and herself as their care giver so his loss of income on them will be insignificant. I'd say a fairer distribution would be 60% for you and 20% for each child.
The Mother doesn't get SS to
The Mother doesn't get SS to care for the children in his death. Been there done that. The children can until they are 19, they can receive up to one-half of the parent’s full retirement or
disability benefit, or 75 percent basic Social Security benefit in monthly payments. There is also a limit so that can be a pretty low monthly amount.
Life insurance provides
Life insurance provides financial protection for beneficiaries in the event of the insured's death. Life insurance benefits can serve as a replacement of lost income to your family or to pay bills and final expenses. The best way to find the most affordable insurance is by understanding what types of insurance are available and what they provide for you.
I4MT
I don't think you are being a
I don't think you are being a bitch at all. My FDH and I have had many discussions about this ourselves. I finally talked him into 50% to me and the rest split between the skids. I agree with the OP, we inhereit the debt, we should get the majority of the life insurance (my FDH has no assets at all). I could never carry all of our debt on my own, and if I didn't get a big chunk of his life insurance I would lose my house and both our vehicles (not that I wouldn't get rid of one if I were on my own) because he is the one that makes most of our money.
Life insurance provides
Life insurance provides financial protection for beneficiaries in the event of the insured's death. Life insurance benefits can serve as a replacement of lost income to your family or to pay bills and final expenses. The best way to find the most affordable insurance is by understanding what types of insurance are available and what they provide for you.
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I have seen and read many
I have seen and read many posts on the life insurance. But It is best of all. Now days I am searching about the diminished value claim. Because many companies of auto insurance deny the diminished value claim.
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My DH and I are primary
My DH and I are primary beneficiaries on everything for one another. If anything happens to both of us at the same time, it gets split between the children.
My children are adults and self-sufficient. They are losing a mother, not an income, should something happen to me. My DH, on the other hand, will have all of our debt and 1/2 the income. Same is true in the other direction. SS will get Social Security if something happens to DH, at least until he is of age. I'd be LIVID if DH planned for SS (who cares nothing about anyone except himself) to be taken care of and not me, the person who takes care of DH and loves him. And he would quickly find out how that feels with the shoe on the other foot, as he stands to lose much more than I would. Yeah, that crap wouldn't fly.
He may be doing that knowing
He may be doing that knowing that the SM is not going to continue to care for them. Also a parent usually does want to leave an inheritance to their children and that may be his only way of doing that. Is there a pension going to you? What are your ages? Will your home be paid off in the near future?
I think he just wants to know that if something happened to him while the kids are young that they will have money to be cared for. Do you all have it in the will or any agreement that if the bio parent were to pass that you will care for the children?
DH told me this week actually
DH told me this week actually that he put me on his life ins plan. It's a 50/50 split between me and ss. When we have another child I'm sure it will be split into thirds and so forth.