I'm pregnant !!!
While I had been suspecting that I was pregnant and just found out yesterday that I am. This was not planned but we're married and love each other and I'm feeling so excited. When I told my husband he said "I'm not happy". He won't talk to me about it at all. He was having a beer last night and offered me one too, I said I can't drink beer I'm pregnant. So, he is just going to ignore the fact that we're having a baby. I know what the whole problem is, he's worried about SD(9) and BM. Bm went so far as to tell me that I was not allowed to move into my husbands house. She also called to yell at him on the day we got married. This will be stressfull for him, I'm sure she will yell and scream about it. It's like she thinks she owns him, they were together for 4 months, 10 years ago, get over it, omg. I already told my ex-husband and he thinks that our 2 kids(8 & 4) will be happy with a new baby. So I guess that's all I should be concerned about anyway. I know my DH will come around and I don't care if SD likes it or not.
Congratulations!
And who cares what BM says - she doesn't own you! no matter what she thinks. DH will come around, just glow and he will be more smitten than ever!
Most Evil
Beauty is truth, truth beauty - that is all ye know on earth, and all ye need to know. John Keats
OMG... congrats. My only
OMG... congrats.
My only concern.. is that your hubby said to you that he was NOT happy about the pregnancy...
While your attitude is great about it.. I have to wonder when he will come around. I would be completely ticked if I were you.
he came around...
It was December 20th when we went for an ultrasound to date the pregnancy and make sure everything was in the right spot. He is excited now and has told everyone he knows. He even had them put it in the newspaper at his work, lol. I think his main concern was telling sd and bm, once he did that he felt somewhat relieved. They aren't happy but we don't really care, it's not up to them to tell us how many children we can have.
first of all the ex has no
first of all the ex has no right or saying on your relationship. when ex calls all that is supposed to come out of her mouth is about sd. what you need to do is get things straight with your husband and tell him that if he is going to let ex control his life? if that's the case then why did he marry you. something similar happened to me when i began dating my now husband. when his ex found out that he was dating she would call all the time and for insignificant reasons and of course that bothered me. his problem was that he did not know how to handle the situation but i showed him how. i told him to let her know that the calls were going to stop and if she had to it would be because it was something important about daughter otherwise he would hang up. also tell your husband to himself in your shoes and tell him how he would like it if your ex was the one acting up like his ex. try not to worry so much now that your pregnant cause all that stress goes directly to BABY. best of luck to you and your BABY
I'd be concerned about
SD. I too am pregnant, and my SD lives with me and my husband full time. She's 10. I really to worry about how this will affect her. I know she will adjust and it will work out, but I think its good to take the SD's feelings into account. The way I look at it...she's already feeling competition from me for dad's attention (even if that feeling is irrational, it is REAL), and now she'll think there's a new baby coming to take her place in dad's eyes.
As far as the ex, I agree with others who've said it shouldn't matter what she thinks.
I hope your husband is coming around.
don't care if SD likes it or not.
I think your wrong saying your don't care how she feels. Listen I have been reading so many post about new babys being born and the sd being nasty to the new baby. Even demanding more attention of the father and the bm making the bf do more and more. Even she might start clinging to her dad more to get the attention.
I think for some reason the baby was planned and that your husband was just fool thinking it would not happen. I mean your husband got to know whether your plan to have a baby or not. If you wanted one and not using anything they he got realise that. If he did know then he should of used a condom. Plus if your were both trying both of you should of made your sd aware of the situation.
In his defense he might be angry as he don't know how she is going to react. Yeah I agree its not good timing but she will make your life 10 times worse now your are expecting. Maybe for you husband the situation is bad enough and a baby right now is going to make it worse. He also might be worried about his daughters feelings as she had him for 9 years to herself.From the bm view she might have been worried when you got married about this situation occurring how her dd is going to fit in. She might of been like I am not going to let ths woman push her out.When she finds out about the baby she will be very upset and scared for her daughter and probably say alot of things to your dp.
You got to do some serious talking to your husband. You want the baby and you husband got to accept that but you got to realise that he might need to make sure his daughter is shown from time to time how special she is. When the baby is born he might be happy but he might choose once and awhile he takes his daughter out on his own.
Can I say my step-mum has one son from a previous relationship and two with my dad. When I found out she was having a second baby with my dad I thought it was going to be a girl. I was worried because she was jealous of me but glad in the end she had another boy. You can walk round with a smug look think I am having his baby now. We're together but don't feel to happy as you might have made things worse.
I'm waiting for my account
I'm waiting for my account to be approved so I'm posting anonymously for now.
Anyway, I too am pregnant and it was unplanned. DH is happy about it too though. But the reason I want to comment is about SD. My SD, age 10, lives full time with me and SD (she sees her BM every other weeked).
Anyway...I think you SHOULD care about how SD is feeling about things. Certainly, you can't let her run your life or affect your decisions, but she's just a kid and is probably worried about losing her dad's attention.
We haven't told my SD yet, but we've hinted about it. And she's had TOTALLY negative reactions. She's even threated to push any hypothetical child of mine in front of a car. So....we're just trying to take it very slow with her. I know it all comes down to the fact that right now she's a single child living with me and her daddy...she already feels like I steal her daddy's attention away from her, and now she's thinking that a baby is gonna come along and replace her.
Anyway, I don't have much good advice, I just think its probably good to try to understand what your SD might be feeling.
Good luck with everything.