Im kind of at my wits end
W/ circumstances. OMG why didnt anyone ever tell me th crap that would come w/ being w/ a man like this. Does anyone ever feel like they are in a mess constantly as it pertains to our men/women and the baggage they come w/? I have a child, but have done it on my own so I dont have the ex baggage that comes with most step families. Mine is mostly ex related (his ex). I am used to being #1 and I didnt realize (didnt happen until after we moved in together) just how difficult it all was. He didnt handle the divorce porperly so now he pay waaaaay more child support than is legally obligatory, we pay all travel expenses, medical ect. His credit sucks because he wanted to save his marriage and made really bad bad decisions and she took total (can we say not responsible) advantage of things. I came in waaaaay later and did not realize the magnitude of what happened....but Im here, and my daughter is involved so what do you do? Hes good to me and my child. I dont like some of his children (he has 3) but that is based on (i feel) a very strained relationship between their father and there mother. She just had another baby (go figure), and has re-married (thank god) to someone she knew all of one year (pattern dare I say).... to each his own but she still relies heavily on my b/f for everything financial and Im gettting burned out beofre Im even married!!!!
That is the wonder of
That is the wonder of relationships...you can date someone for 8 years get married and never realize what you've stepped into then there are those that date a few weeks get married and everything is harmonious. It's the nature of the game.
So many people on here can relate to the frustration of "WTF were you thinking" dilemma with there SOs.
As far as what to do? You can encourage your DH to better the situation by changing things if he doesn't listen then come on here and vent about it. We'll help you through dear
I know its hard but if you
I know its hard but if you are not married yet you may want to reevaluate this situation. You have to think about your own daugher and if you want her growing up in what sounds like could be a marriage filled with a lot of contention. I know that children from previous marriages need to be considered, but in order for a happy home to be created the marriage has to come first. If you feel that your bf is not in a position to do this because of his baggage you might be setting yourself up for failure.
Keep in mind that whatever circumstance you create for yourself in a marriage is most likely how your child will pattern her life. Hope this helps!