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I need some help

nascarnana's picture

Submitted by nascarnana on Tue, 02/23/2010 - 8:43pm

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My husband has a son who is almost 19 and he comes to our house every other weekend. He does nothing when he is here and messes and tells his dad to shut up and will even cuss him if he gets mad at him. He is demanding and I have said to stay home with his mom and not come back as he has cussed me only to have my husband (his dad) say to me "ignore him" he thinks he is bad because he is 18. Well I can't ignore cursing and carrying on and have no peace the entire time he is here. The house is not in my name but I pay alot of the bills. I have threatened calling the law but I know that this is something my husband has to take control of. What do I do? I am tired of the aura of bad vibes when that boy walks thru the door. He plays the t.v. loud in the room he calls his and he will shout cuss words to his dad when his dad tells him to turn it down and his dad ignores him. They don't do anything together and hardly talk. I am thinking about leaving this hoopla as it causes me stress and I don't have a piece of mind or any peace when he comes around. He is very angry.

Stick's picture

Submitted by Stick on Tue, 02/23/2010 - 9:20pm

Nascarnana - At this point, since the boy is 19, it's not like visitation should be "forced" anymore. At that age, usually parents sort of "let go" and the children have friends they want to see, etc.

If it were me, I would sit down with DH during the week and ask what he thinks and feels about these visits. I can't imagine he feels much better about them, or even feels that they are contributing to his and his son's relationship.

Maybe it's time for dad to take a stand and lay down the law. My opinion - the law is... SS is 19.. He is now considered an Adult. Adults do not speak to each other like that, and the father has every right to tell SS he is no longer welcome in his home due to his poor respect and behavior.

SS and DH should continue to see each other... maybe they can go for breakfast or go to a movie. But overnights, every weekend, when the kid is acting like that? I can honestly say, my poor husband would be getting it from both ends. I wouldn't want that in my home either.

*** A rainbow just threw up on me... and now I'm sh*tting glitter! ***