My husband just tried to guilt me into allowing a playdate at our home for both step kids this weekend. They were pressuring him to do this because it's been a while since they had friends here and they enjoy showing (off for) other kids where we live. I said no, because:

-I need quiet and peace to work on the weekends from home (grad student/writing) and when I'm taking a break from work I like to RELAX WITH -MY FAMILY (disclaimer: I've been extra stressed lately)
-We have 4 kids among us already and all will be home that weekend meaning that's another 2 kids running around, fighting, asking for snacks, -asking me why I do this or that the way that I happen do be doing it.
-It winds up the 3-year-old and ensures that I'll have to watch him like a hawk to keep him safe/uninjured.
-My husband has not-very-well managed ADD, and he often "forgets" to keep on top of the stepkids' unrelenting needs as it is. So it's guaranteed I'll have to serve them and I don't fucking FEEL like it.
-I like to walk around my house in sweats and I don't want to think about interacting with other kids' parents or worrying about tidying up. It's an oceanfront house and the windows are filthy.
-I don't like my kids' friends. Especially my 2nd grade step-son's. His best friend came over during summer and brought a brand new iPod, which he wouldn't share, and complained that my stepson doesn't have a TV in his bedroom. My step-daughter's best friend once told me that if I didn't immediately serve her nachos (or something weirdly specific), then she wouldn't ever come over again. I nearly told that kid: "I think we have a deal!"

The last time we allowed a playdate for each kid, (because you know fairness) they all behaved so horribly, lying, getting into stuff, fighting. But my husband actually tried to GUILT me over this by saying "It's their home too."

Really???

Is it?

So what does this imply? They have the right to DOUBLE the number of kids tearing through my (echoey, cavernous) home because they LIVE HERE? What other rights do my 4 foot tall roommates have in this apparently now democratic home??? Can they redecorate? Can they remodel or decide to rent out a room?? Maybe we should sit down with them and find out if they'd prefer to make the guest room an AIR B&B, because that would haul in some cash that they could then spend as they see fit. Because it's their house too, right?

I told my husband he married a quiet, introverted WRITER who gets migraines and suffers from stress. The kids want for *nothing*. If they don't get to do the dual playdate they will still have pretty excellent lives. Maybe things will change. In the summer, say, when they can play OUTSIDE, for example, then things kind of change, don't they?

I'm no wicked stepmom and I resent that idea. I'm planning (and funding!) an EPIC 10th birthday party later this month at our home for my stepdaughter, the oldest. We are turning our house into a Harry Potter world. It's costing more than our budget should permit. That's in A FEW WEEKS. They can't wait until then?

These kids see their friends constantly. They do full time school plus aftercare every night, and both have sports and clubs. They live with their mom half the week and in her neighborhood (in the school district) lots of kids live within walking distance. BM does sleepovers and playdates pretty much whenever they ask. When they don't see their friends they email them. IT'S GONNA BE OK.

So that's why I told my husband: Nice Try.
If you want to call me mean, go ahead. But I call it empowered. I make sure these guys have EVERYTHING. Every experience, every fun toy, attention to their interests and emotions. But I draw the line at indoor, hosted playdates that I have to supervise or listen to and that's my RIGHT as an adult living here.

So there.
WTFF

PS-My 3 year old turns 4 soon and he's not getting a kid party because I don't FEEL like it. Just one birthday party with family for the poor thing. And he doesn't even know that some mommies would jump at the opportunity to have 15 3-5 year olds jumping on the couches after eating cake.