How much do you log?
Of what goes on in regarding to your skids/ bm/ bd etc?
Last year contact ended up ending and me and dp ended up sat in solicitors/ sending letters out and realised how unprepared we were to prove anything.
I now log EVERYTHING, every visit, every conversation, every facebook message, phone conversation, text message etc, and everything we buy ss, I also log every potentially 'dodgy' conversation we have with ss- i.e anything he says about his mother/ step father/ anything that could be misconscrued and used against us as we have been in situations before where we have said something in response to a question and it has been twisted.
Does anyone else do it to this extent or is it just us. I started all this about a month ago when communications between us and BM broke down as we used to talk regulary but it went to hell after an argument between dp and bm and I suspected at some point we would go through the same hassle as last year. we have no solid court agreed arrangement and dp due to ss's age does not have parental responsibility.
I dont do any of that....its
I dont do any of that....its such a drain. Ive come to find over many years that its not worth keeping the focus on all that mess...when I can be enjoying my life & finding success for us.
Nothing goes through the CSA
Nothing goes through the CSA (UK version of the cs id imagine), my dp actually contacted them rather than bm and asked to set up a regular payment after paying £40 a fortnight direct to bm (in cash) for around 5 years (ss is 8 and they split up when he was 18 months) without a reciept and wanting to do it properly. At this point they told him due to his income he should have never been paying BM anything, as she gets child benefit/ child tax credits as a single mother she shouldnt have been recieving any money of dp as it is covered for by the state, and if she was she should have declared it.
DP also got sick of the money not going on the essential items, bm was often in trouble with debts/ not paying bills but went out a lot. So all payments direct to BM stopped, we do however pay for ss's clothes, shoes, school uniform and anything else he needs, and this is all logged by myself everytime it happens. In total we actually spend more now than my dp used to give to bm, so she SHOULD have no complaints (she hasn't complained for a while so i presume she doesn't). And considering he has always has always had the same income in theory she should have never received £80 a month for 5 years anyway, and should she raise the fact dp doesn't pay this would be brought up. PLUS our solicitor told DP if he wasn't happy with giving bm money direct to simply buy ss things and keep note of it as it was fine as far as child support was concerned.
I use to log
I use to log EVERYTHING...good and bad. Every email, phone call, conversation, what the kids came back dressed as, if they had any injuries or illnesses, what went on at school, what we did over the weekend. I probably had the most detailed journal you will ever see. In the end it started to feel like I was the only parent who cared enough to take the advise of our attorney and they arent even my kids. For that reason, I quit doing it all together and have taken the position that DH can keep records if he feels its important (he hasnt yet).