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How many of you have a sd manipulating you?

Caligirl's picture

My situation is my sd11. Every other weekend, as soon as no one is around, she starts looking all sad, telling me stories about things her brothers do they are ss8 and ss11, which by the way do not say two words to me the entire time they are here. At first, I really got a bit freaked out about all this stuff she was telling me, from how disgusting her mom's house is to how her mom makes zero dinners, lunches,she says her brother ss8 walks around naked all the time, eww, I don't want that kid around my 3 yr old daughter! she tells me her mom does'nt buy her any clothes, only from Goodwill, she's embarrased by her mom cause her clothes don't match, It goes on and on, all weekend. By Sunday, I am ready for counseling. Which I finally did go because I couldn't handle the stress. I have 2 kids 20 and 17 from a prev. marriage, my husband has 3 from a prev. marriage and we have one daughter who is 3 together. I am a tired woman! I feel like I am dealing with teenage issues, toddler issues and 3 skid issues I can't control. So anyways, I started to wonder how much was true about her "stories" so I called the bio mom. She said that sd11 is an emotional wreck, cries about not being able to make decisions, etc. She denied some of the stuff that I was told by sd11. She denied the story about the 8 yr old being naked around the house, I feel like I don't know who to beleive. I am starting to not care. I really feel to save my sanity is to not have them over as much til they get some counseling. And it really pisses me off to think that an 11 yr old girl is manipulating me and causing me this much stress. They have minimal manners and the bio mom has 2 other kids and they just do whatever they want. In a way I feel sorry for them, but then I feel sorry for myself and the stress it puts on my household.

PoisonApples's picture

I think that girl is desperately looking for a female role model. It's too bad you went to BM with all she said.

Yeah, maybe she exaggerated it and possibly even made up a good portion of it but...do you remember being 11? She's probably hormonal. I'd give her the benefit of the doubt and think that she was just trying to make friends with you.

Caligirl's picture

I do realize she is hormonal, and needs someone to talk to and she feels comfortable with me. The reason I went to her bm was because some of the stuff she was telling me was that her 8 yr old brother was always naked on the living room couch touching himself, taking pic of his penis with the bm cell phone. And she kept on and on about gross things because I think she wants to live with us. I also feel she is a little jealous of my d17 because she has nice things, but my daughter works and buys them herself clothes, Guess purses,etc. I think that sd11 was trying to make it sound really really bad at her home to the point of calling dfs on her bm, I decided to see what the heck was going on over there. I didn't divulge everything, but there is a fine line of being someones support and being taking taken advantage of. The reason I decided to call bm was because my dh and I asked my ss10 about ss8 touching himself and taking pics, and he said it happened a year ago. sd11 is saying it happens constantly. bm says it happened a year ago. So, I was really concerned with her well being to get to some bottom of this. I also saw a counselor and she said that I should listen to her but then suggest a way for her to work it out with her mom. And yes, I do remember being 11 and if I made up lies about my sisters and my mom to someone else just because I was hormonal, my mom would probably drop kick my little ass!