Help me please
I am new here, and need advice/help etc. Let me start by telling you a bit about our family. My husband and I are newlyweds (1.5 months). He has a six year old boy who is spending the summer with us. He is a truly wonderful kiddo and I do love him a ton. However, he has recently been exhibiting behaviors that are scary and very concerning. He is a very active kid and has always been "busy." I am a teacher, so I usually do a good job at keeping him entertained and out of trouble. Recently, though, he has been getting really aggressive. He has hit my dog, my cats and me. He obviously has consequences when this happens, but nothing seems to be working. To make matters worse, he is overly anxious about going back to his mothers house. His father and I both know that there are some bad things going on in the house there, but dont know to what extent or what exactly has happened. We know that there has been some violence and my SS knows more about sex than any 6 year old should. We are waiting to hear back from a therapist but until we get him some help, I need advice. We have tried every thing: rewarding possitive behavior, ignoring little behaviors, sticker charts, time outs, yelling, taking things away etc. It is taking a toll on my marriage and we would fight for custody, yet know that unless there is something to prove, we will not win. HELP!! I feel like I am losing my mind.....
For starters, I'm so sorry.
For starters, I'm so sorry. That's a horribly stressful situation. Are there any resources available through your teacher network or school system that you could make use of immediately? A friend who's a guidance counselor or something? My SS9 has some violent tendancies that most of his bio-family chooses to ignore (though they have caused it) and brush it off as "boys being boys". I have gotten down on his level and in my most serious tone told him that in no way, shape or form is that kind of behavior EVER acceptable to me, should it occur in my home, at school or elsewhere. It is not tolerated, and the punishment is big. He lost priviledges (no more video games for 2 months, no TV for a week, etc.) and in place of the privledges, he got extra chores (picking up sticks in the lawn, cleaning his toilet, etc.). It helped a bit. But not all the way. Unfortunately, when others are involved, you can't control what he's exposed to and the behavior will return. Ours did because his stepdad at BM's house told him it was ok to hit people. Ridiculous, and then we're the ones called by the school.