I'm not really sure where to start... I have been married for a little over a year now but my husband and I have been together for over 4 1/2 years. He has a daughter from his first marriage and we have just discovered that I am pregnant with my first. We have full custody of her and I have been "mommy" to her since she was about a year and a half. I stay at home and provide daycare for a couple kids right now. As a result, I spend the most amount of time with his daughter. Her mother is in the picture but she sees her only Saturday afternoons until Sunday afternoons. I really don't like her mother at all for many reasons but mainly because she was a drug addict who went to jail for a year due to beating her drug dealer with a lead pipe (which is why we have custody). She has since gotten her life together but I do feel a lot of animosity for her still as I find it unfair that she can just waltz in and claim the title of mommy when I feel she is completely undeserving. My SD is 5 years old and in kindergarten. She is very bright and a sweet girl most of the time. I am however finding it more and more difficult to control my anger towards her. She just seems to always push my buttons and I know she's not doing it on purpose but it doesn't change the fact that it infuriates me. I'm ashamed to say I have yelled and said some things to her I wish I could take back. I just don't know what to do. I am not at all an angry person in general. In fact, I'm pretty passive most of the time but it just irritates me to no end that she is constantly not paying attention and causing problems daily. First it was in school, now it's at home and during her karate classes which she has just started. I feel some of the problem is that she is an only child right now and somehow thinks she is special. Of course she is special to us but she seems to feel that it entitles her to more than it should. She constantly wants to be the center of attention. She took two solo classes first to prepare her for the group classes and she was doing very well. The first group class we took her to, the instructor asked us not to bring her back to them because she caused too much disruption. She was upset that she had to stand behind someone else in class and refused to listen to the instructor as a result. She wasn't the only one who had to stand behind another kid as it is a larger class but for some reason, she's the only one who had an issue with it. At home, she is well aware of all the rules and how everything must be done. I make charts for her to keep her on task and to help remind her what she needs to do to get ready in the morning. Whenever I ask her to repeat my instruction or to tell me what needs to be done, she always can so I know it's not an issue with comprehension. She just gives me attitude when we're doing her homework and sometimes just decides she's not going to say a word, even when she knows the answer. She also gives me the most disgusting looks sometimes that unfortunately remind me so much of her mother that I can't stand it. That's usually when I get frustrated and blow up at her. Oddly enough, when I blow up, she can tell me the answer I was seeking but at that point it's usually too late because I'm fuming and she's crying. I have never spanked or hit her but she has brought me so close to wanting to that it scares me. Being pregnant now is very exciting for me but I really want to get this under control as I know it's bad for the baby to have so much stress. It's to the point where I dread seeing her every morning and just can't wait until she's in bed and I don't have to be around her. I've tried talking calmly with her, taking privileges away, time outs, being a little less uptight, but nothing seems to work. If anything the less uptight I am, the worse it gets until I can't take it anymore and snap. Any advice/help would be greatly appreciated because I know I can't go on like this.