Having to retrain kids after visit to BMs
Forums:
My SS14 came home last night after a visit with him BM. He was grouchy, disrespectful, hostile and an overall jerk. He kicked at the dog and I informed him he better get a new attitude or the next time I saw something like that I'd kick him. What the hell does she do to him in 2 days? He's a good kid and easy going. He's ADHD so he has to stay on a schedule, but he's not a real problem...just lippy.
I had to get on him 4 times between 6:00 and 9:00 for not listening, being disrespectful, etc. That's not normal for us. I think he goes there, eats junk, has no bedtime and gets to act like an ass.
Does anyone else have issues like this?
OMG yes!!! It gets OLD!
OMG yes!!! It gets OLD! Attitudes change, hygiene gets worse, & they appear angry. SD only wants to be at her moms saying "i can do what i want there". Grrrr
It confuses me as to why the BM is the buddy when she should be the parent.
Same here but I'm telling you
Same here but I'm telling you one thing - if SD14 ever tried kicking at my cat again, she'd lose her fucking foot! I don't tolerate animal abuse!
YES! It's ridiculous the
YES! It's ridiculous the change for the worse that happens anytime SD9 has any form of contact with BM! It's like she becomes possessed!
I'm in the same boat. SD10
I'm in the same boat. SD10 came home last night and just tossed her shoes and coat down on the floor. Then got a drink and plopped down on the couch (we don't allow drinking in the living room). Then proceeded to argue when she was told to take a shower because she "took one yesterday at moms". I know that's normal kid behavior but it drives me nuts because it's like all the rules go out the window when she gets back from moms and I have to start all over.
eating junk food causes all
eating junk food causes all kinds of stuff in kids and adults. Lack of sleep does as well - in addition to too much television.
All 3 of these are things that BM's seem to LOVE - TV, junk food and no sleep
This is most of it, yes.
This is most of it, yes. Completely agree. But the PAS'ing is to blame for a lot too.
Is the Parental Alienation
Is the Parental Alienation Syndrome. She's tried all fo that...she told the kids for years she got a divorce because their Dad was a drunk and she was afraid of him, he lied, he did this that and everything you can imagine. The truth is she's a lesbian. They see it now, but for years they treated him like a kid and tattled on him to their BM constantly.
What amazes me how changed he
What amazes me how changed he is. BM's house has estrogen overflow (BM, GF, and SD) so I know he's out numbered 3 to 1.
I get the same maybe not to
I get the same maybe not to the degree you get but personally I blame the bios, they have not decided on a firm parenting plan for both homes.
Normally when steps go to the bio that they do not stay with they get spoiled rotten and it will lead to this behavior. In our home we deal wit it thus... We tell the my SD that the rules in this house are what you must follow when you are with us (most of the time btw), what you do at your dads doe not follow through here, and she will be punished if she breaks the rules... Punishments are no sweet for the day(she only gets one) no watching her favorite movie, tv taken from her room (she likes to wake up about an hour before us but we have shown her how to turn the tv on) if she is really bad she goes to the corner.
This bring her back to her wonderful self in about a day, its gett harder now that her dad has her one more weekend a month (3 weekends) but it still works, unfortunately he cant see past spoiling his daughter to the point that its bad for her so the parenting plan is not the same for her in each house which in my opinion would be the best possible thing for his child... But who am I to judge I can only have a say on what happens here.
This used to happen with my
This used to happen with my SD's every weekend (they spent M-Th at BM's) when they were younger. My youngest SD, who was 3 at the time, would come home from BM's house severely constipated because she only wanted to eat macaroni and cheese for every meal and her mother let her! MY SD's were often sick with colds or upset stomachs when they came to my house because they'd been sick all week and their mother wouldn't take them to the doctor. Not only that, their teeth hadn't been brushed for several days and they smelled from not being properly bathed. Before they were allowed to do anything at my house, I bathed them and brushed their teeth every time we picked them up from BM's house. Besides the medical stuff and hygiene problems, their attitudes were horrible. They kicked and screamed and threw fits every time an adult wouldn't let them have their way. They snitched on my bio kids every chance they got and were very sneaky. When I confronted my husband about how he was letting them behave his excuse was that he didn't get to see them all week and for me to be patient with them! No way!! Children need discipline no matter what else is going on in their lives. I don't care if it's Christmas day; if you are acting up, you need to be told to knock it off!! My household was always peaceful until his two kids came up and started disturbing the peace!! But my husband couldn't see past his precious little princesses coming for their weekly visit! Ugh! They're older now (14 & 16) and daddy has begun to see how manipulative and bratty his girls can be. Things have changed a lot and I'm no longer the bad guy (SM!) who has be put up with their terrible behavior. Yay!!