I think you are doing all you can. Just keep up the tough parenting, maybe it will work. Also, sounds like intensive therapy is needed. 2x a month at the least. Destructive behavior needs to be addressed. At least all of you are on the same page. We tried with SD17, same behavior and BM won't give consequences, so we are stepping out.

OH! My SD16 did this. She took a handful of sleeping pills that was her aunts at our house and didn't fess up till months later. She admitted to smoking weed, she had a near death incident at the beach when she od'd on alcohol and spent 2 days in ICU...SHE NEVER GOT IN TROUBLE FOR ANY OF IT and her plan worked she got out of any trouble she was in because her parents were just "so glad she was alive" Then she started the whole " no one loves me or cares about me so I'm gonna cut myself for attention and it's all daddy and goincrazy's fault"
They finally put her in therapy, I pushed for a inpatient psych eval to teach her a lesson and get her help but no one cared what my opinion was (of course)

She stopped going to therapy and now is obsessed with her boyfriend and has no friends. She will be a train wreck for years to come. She was crying for help in the wrong ways and her parents would put a bandaid on itbecause as soon as she got her way and they were meeting every demand and fastfood request at the hospital she was happy again :jawdrop:

I don't thik there's anything you can do. See if your DH will admit for for psych eval at the hospital- locked unit 72 hour hold, bet she will think twice before pulling this shit again

Too bad her attempt was not successful. It would have done everyone a favor it sounds like.

People who "attempt" to commit suicide are doing nothing but looking for attention IMHO. If they are serious then it won't be an attempt.

I was a trained first responder in HS and was a Cadet Medical Officer in our military school infirmary. I dealt with idiots like this every single school year. I had people threaten to jump out of windows, people give themselves countless cuts on their wrists, attempts to OD on any pill they could find, etc... The jumpers I would tell to either GTFO out of the window or jump and quit waisting my time. The cutters I would clean up with wintergreen IPA and would ask them how they were feeling as they howled during the clean up and bandaging of their stupid bullshit. The pill poppers I would purge with Ipecac and tell them not to miss the bucket when they were puking their guts out because they were cleaning it up if the missed. All of them I had on the bullring marching for hours and hours and hours as soon as they were released from the ER. I made sure that every one of them felt every possible discomfort for their idiocy and understood clearly to knock their shit off and not waste my time or the time of the rest of the kids at the school. I never felt a bit of sympathy for for their condition. Not one of them ever tried their stupid shit again and not one of them ever killed themselves.

I even got an award from the county hospital for my first aid to a wrist cutter. The young ER doc said I did a great job cleaning up the cuts and bandaging the wounds. He asked what I used to clean it up with. I told him Wintergreen IPA, mercurocrome and OTC antibiotic ointment. He cringed and winked at me. The poor kid was a wreck from the intense pain and burning from the clean up. Interestingly he and I graduated together the next year and he thanked me as we both packed our barracks after graduation. He said that I was the first person who ever told him he was an idiot and let him experience some pain for his fake wrist cutting attempts and the pain from the first aid made a huge point with him. He and I see each other every few years at reunions and we have a beer together. He is a successful business man with a long marriage and successful adult kids. As am I.

Keep the heat of accountability on her and she will either figure it out or not. Either way, not your problem or even her BP's problem. It is her problem. IT sounds to me that BM's partner has his head on straight with this whole thing as do you and your DH.

I suggest getting a bottle or two of Ipecac for your home and when SD pulls her Benadryl OD crap again have her spend a few hours with her head in the toilet. Maybe if she sees her shoes comming out of her mouth she will catch a clue.

All IMHO of course.