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Smomof3's picture

Submitted by Smomof3 on Tue, 11/26/2013 - 10:24am

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BM calls to say that SD16 is grounded until the first of the year and to discuss the Thanksgiving schedule. She wants us to keep SD for the 4 day holiday. Which is fine with us. She then says that her band has to play at a State Championship game on Black Friday. I'm not nuts about going downtown on Black Friday but whatever...Then I found out why she's grounded:

SD told us two weeks ago she couldn't come for visitation because she was working. She also told her mother she was spending the night with BM's ex-girlfriend and worker for her. BM found out she stayed the night at a boys house with other kids and her boyfriend, who she shacked up with all night. BM grounded her for 3 weeks. Then she was caught smoking (she's a severe asthmatic) and bm grounded her for the remainder of the year.

Here is my issue? She's 16 and she stayed out all night and she lied to her father an I. I don't believe she deserves to go to this game and she's not. However, Bm is pretty pissed that we aren't letting her go.

ENuff's picture

Submitted by ENuff on Tue, 11/26/2013 - 10:33am

Hmmm your grounded but You can go to the state championship. Hmmmmm a little mixed messages here.

SMof2Girls's picture

Submitted by SMof2Girls on Tue, 11/26/2013 - 12:55pm

I think what the kid needs is positive activities to interest her and keep her away from the negative surroundings she's been in. Band can be that activity; it's clearly supervised and controlled.

I say let her go but eliminate any non-essential activities surrounding it.

Smomof3's picture

Submitted by Smomof3 on Tue, 11/26/2013 - 1:41pm

Here's another issue. The kids she's partying with and sleeping with are band kids. Her BM wants to punish her but only when it's convenient for her. Band performance is extraciricular and she isn't going. A bad grade in band is the least of her worries. She has a D in Algebra II.

Her BM doesn't want to supervisor her and then wants to cry and whine when she gets in trouble. I honestly would take her in, but I don't want her. She lies, she manipulates, she steals, does drugs, and worst of all she is a VICTIM!

SMof2Girls's picture

Submitted by SMof2Girls on Tue, 11/26/2013 - 2:52pm

Then yeah, I agree. If the band members are a bad influence, I would limit interaction with them. BM can keep her for the Thanksgiving break if that's an issue for her.

JacksGal's picture

Submitted by JacksGal on Tue, 11/26/2013 - 5:08pm

I would find out if she's graded on it and if her not going is going to affect the rest of the band. While she did very wrong, you should consider if this is going to cost the rest of the band (presumably some good kids) by missing it. If you do decide to take her, take some time to make sure the parents of the other kids involved know that they were lied to also. Her friends getting in trouble because you ratted them out may make her persona non grata with the bad kids.