SS9 is here for five weeks this summer. I find no redeeming qualities in this kid. I know it's petty, and horrible, but he looks SO MUCH like BM that every time I look at him, I'm reminded that DF (dear fiance) was with her in the biblical sense (and then married her out of a sense of obligation). Both DF and myself are highly educated, motivated people from good families, and SS was a product of a fling...BM is unemployed, has a serious drinking problem, lives in a house that is in the middle of foreclosure, smokes like a chimney, has another baby by a man who she has a restraining order against, and has been taken to jail for DV several times herself. DF pays SOOOOO much CS (over $800 per month) for the one child, and we know she uses it to buy diapers for her other baby and cigarettes for herself. SS is always stinky, dirty, and in ill-fitting Goodwill clothes when we see him. He's never been to a dentist, and her new trick is to take her other Medicaid-supported baby to the doctor and get medicine prescribed to him, then split the meds between the two kids b/c she doesn't want to pay the $25 co-pay for DF's health insurance he has on SS.

Despite how horrible she is....of course SS loves her dearly. She tells him he's perfect, tells him he's the best, tells him that getting "B"s on his report card is just as good as getting "A"s...so why would he try harder? She never even taught him how to cut his own food or tie his shoes; we've had to teach him all of those things b/c she says "he's just a kid, he'll learn to do it when he's ready." So we are always the bad guys trying to make him improve his skills, and improve as a person. He never notices when she doesn't deliver on promises she makes to him, and just looks up to her like she's the second coming of jesus christ.

The time he spends with us he looks like he's serving out a prison sentence because we don't let him watch whatever amount of television he wants or play "Saints Row 3" on playstation 3 (not kidding, that's allowed for SS9 at BM's home). It is so disruptive to our own rhythm that part of me just wants to ask him "are you miserable here?" and then send him back to BM where he thinks its so wonderful anyway. Every time DF has to interact with BM, there's major drama. Is this even worth the effort?!

I figure that this is the best place to vent because all of my friends (who are stepchild-less of course) hear these things and say "oh man why don't you guys get custody!?" Well...we don't want it. First of all, it's so stupid expensive to fight for custody, and secondly, why do I want this miserable little child who just wants to be with BM in my house full-time anyway?

Thanks for listening. /end rant (for now)