Dont know what to do
Hi, I am a stepmum of three kids and have been in their life since they were babies. We have them one week on, one week off and have done for 6 years. In the beginning things were stressful but great. Now my husband has decided to start pursuing a career which takes him away on weekends when we have the kids. This means that the responsibility lands on my lap. When I try to talk to my husband he just gets angry and tells me that I am stopping him from being happy and doing the job he loves. I just want him to see that he needs to look after the kids because they are his. Whenever we seam to come to an arrangement that we are both comfortable with he ups and changes it due to work and expect me to agree to it. If I dont he gets angry and verbally abuses me. He wants to change arrangements with his ex wife which means that she will have the kids on our weekend and they will stay during her week at out place. So this for me means I need to take care of our two kids all weekend he is working and still have all the stepkids over on the week they are meant to be at their mothers. I just feel like I am getting the raw end of the deal. I would prefer for him to admit he would rather work then see his kids and not swap dates around. Help and advise would be appreciated.
It sounds like you need to
It sounds like you need to reduce visitation time but he doesn't want to admit it to his kids and BM. Half and half is just too much right now. What would BM say to a reduction in time at your house? If she won't like it...could you offer her additional child support or are there activities they could be doing where you wouldn't feel so overwhelmed? Is there money for a mothers helper? Are you able to get away to pursue your own interests? Will his new venture mean more $ for the family? He has to face the reality that you did not sign up to be single parent. Does he ever have the kids alone overnight? Maybe you should visit someone so he gets a day in the life. Then he'll get a glimpse of what it's like.
^^ This is exactly what I
Thanks Lisbeth, He wants
Thanks Lisbeth,
He wants everyone to think he is being this amazing father but in reality he would rather be a single man pursuing his dream. BM would expect child support for reduced hours which is fair enough but he does not want to reduce days. I did not pursue interests because I am too busy taking care of the kids and him and now that he has his dream job, he tells me I have no life and only trying to drag him down. It does not mean more money because its volunteer work but its something he loves. He has never really had the kids on his own. I have always been there. As soon as I have had enough and walk out he comes begging because I knows how hard it is. As time goes on and he gets comfortable he is out doing his own thing again and me and the kids come last. Oh what to do??