Be a sex kitten
BM is somewhat attractive. I posted that once before. However... she & DH only had sex a few times per year. Which, he later found out was because she was banging the whole neighborhood. ANYWAYS...
If I am being honest, I think I am more attractive than her. And, DH and I have an amazing sex life. (Sorry for the TMI). BUT, my point is this:
One thing that I always have control of is trying to make my DH happy. I know this sounds twisted... but he was miserable in his last relationship. I know that no matter how stressful our stepfamily situation gets, we are still crazy attracted to each other. We could have the biggest fight of our lives over something BM or his asshole kids do... but then reconnect that night in bed. I feel like if we lost this, everything else would start going down the drain as well.
I know sometimes when you're dealing with the asshole kids, trashy ex wives, and general drama that comes with stepfamilies, the last thing you want to do sometimes is get busy in bed with DH. BUT - what are the things you all do to keep the spark alive?
I just had professional pictures taken for DH... where I wasn't wearing much :)... and he LOVED it! Interested to hear what the rest of you have done!
Good for YOU! Awesome sex
Good for YOU!
Awesome sex can make up for *some* of the bullshit we deal with every day.
I totally agree with you.
I totally agree with you. The sex is amazing with DH...
But we don't have sex when the skids are here. They bust into our room day or night no matter what without knocking. I could lock the door, but there's nothing like a kid banging on it to kill the mood.
And there are times I am sooo damned mad at him and his shitty parenting that I just don't want him to touch me.
I still have sex on the
I still have sex on the weekends that skid is here. I would flip on that kid if he walked into our room without knocking. I guess I should be thankful for the little blessings, because he never does. He goes to bed and, even if he wakes up before us, just watches tv. Wonder how I got lucky with that one?
Oh you did get lucky! I've
Oh you did get lucky!
I've told DH over and over that our room should be OUR ROOM and all of the kids need to knock when the door is shut AND wait for an answer before opening it. My bios do this because it has always been the rule. They were never allowed to just hang out in my bedroom or to come in without asking or an invitation to do so.
DH lets his in whenever they want. They come in and hang out, no matter what we are doing or watching on tv. I used to change the channel if we were watching something that wasn't appropriate for them, but I've stopped. If they see something they shouldn't, then they shouldn't have been in there in the first place.
I must say that BF and I have
I must say that BF and I have an amazing sex life! I admit I hate being with a man that has a shitty kid & bm in the picture (for many obvious reasons) but if he wasn't as great as he is in and out of the bedroom I would have told him to pound sand ions ago! His sack skills REALLY make this relationship worthwhile...PLUS he's NOT one of those guilty/Disney dad morons we constntly read about on here....SCORE FOR ME!!!!
I feel you! I have the same
I feel you! I have the same thing
I don't have this issue
I don't have this issue anymore since we moved to the 1 bedroom apt, SD14 doesn't spend overnights with us anymore.
But, when we did have the 2 bedroom - she tried demanding that we never have sex when she was there during her weekly visitations or she threatened to move in with mom and never come over again. DH looked right at her and said "well, let's go pack your things then because I'm not giving into your ridiculous demands". Her eyes got as big as baseballs and she was like "what do you mean?" LMAO
We even did an experiment to be sure she couldn't HEAR us. Nope, she heard nothing unless she was parked outside our bedroom door (which likely was the case).
So yeah, I'm happy we don't have this issue anymore because DH and I have an amazing sex life and I hated thinking that every other week we'd not be able to do anything just because SD demanded us to stop!
She also tried to get DH and
She also tried to get DH and I to stop holding hands or kissing (or basically displaying any type of affection at all toward each other). She was so used to demanding things and bossing her parents around that once I came along, and DH grew a pair and took back his power, she hated me for it.
Oh well. I'm not living my life having a fucking 12-14 yr old tell me what to do!
Exactly! He and BM raised
Exactly! He and BM raised SD14 to be the queen of their universe. Literally, they let her rule them. Their marriage, their divorce, their subsequent dating/lovelives...it was DISGUSTING how much power they gave this child.
4 days after I met SD (she was 12), I witnessed her telling her father what to do and I laughed out loud until I realized she was serious and he was LETTING her boss him!!!
We had a serious discussion after "the incident". That being the time she got mad at her dad for something and went running home to BM telling her that he and I "make out" and do inappropriate things in front of her. SD called a "family meeting" between her, BM and DH that evening.
The following evening when I went over to his place for dinner after work, he said, "SD says us kissing and holding hands in front of her makes her uncomfortable, so we had a meeting with her mother and we all agree that it needs to stop". (Mind you, we NEVER full-on kissed in front of her! These were quick pecks hello and goodbye types of kisses). I got up from the table, told him that I will never compete with his daughter, but if he wants to allow a 12 yr old and his fucking ex wife to dictate how OUR relationship has to be and what he can and can't do as an adult - he needed to find someone else because I won't live like that. I told him to call me when he was ready to be his own person and stand on his own two feet.
I got less than a half mile away and he was calling and texting me, begging for me to come back. I texted him telling him he needs to have a discussion with the ex and the kid and get back to me when it's all figured out and shut my phone off. He went straight back to her place and set them straight. That was the ONLY time I ever came close to calling it quits with us.
She still tries that bullshit from time to time but he immediately shuts her down. And BM is still pissed that she doesn't have any control over him anymore, but she can fuck off.
For me, BM and SO had SS on a
For me, BM and SO had SS on a one night stand long after they broke up. To me this means that she is just SO attractive to him that he couldn't even think about protection, he had to have her right then and there, even though they hadn't been together for a long time. As with me, he's never really excited, he very rarely initiates sex and he always remembers protection.
We had a sweet moment last
We had a sweet moment last night... We had bought Pumpkin Pop Tarts & already had YooHoo drinks that come in glass bottles. Well last night it was only DH & I here so we put a couple pop tarts in the toaster & filled the jugs with milk. We sat down to enjoy the little snack washing it down with the milk as we giggled feeling like little kids again. Guess its them moments when you can laugh over the little things in life as you get to see the twinkle in their eyes when you make eye contact.
One of my evil yet favorite times, I will take off running & DH always chases me... should he catch me in the kitchen for example, we do it right then & there but I think its great when one of us will fall or run into something & get hurt. DH broke only one toe so far doing this but we usually get lucky or get bruised!
As for the BM of his kids, she is pretty when she has lost weight from her diet that she starts & stops but I am prettier then her. She does have one side that I envy though, I think she can get pretty wild in bed. Just from what I have heard that is!