Anyone else feel sorry for incompetent BM?
Let me preface this by saying that I like BM. I don't think she is a bad person and we get along just fine. But sometimes her ability to manage her kids is unbelievable and I do feel sorry for her. For example...she had my 2 SSs on vacation for the week until yesterday when they got back into town. Well DH and I had also been out of town on vacation this past weekend as well. He went to visit family and I was off to Vegas with my mom and sister for a girls weekend away (which was fabulous!!!). Well we all arrived back in town about the same time yesterday. I arranged my vacation to be back in town to pick up BD from her dad yesterday evening. Well I get home and 5 minutes later my SSs arrive so that DH and I can get them ready for summer camp this week because it was too much for her and she had other things to do!!!! We had things to do as well! With both of us being gone all weekend etc... So, we kept SSs overnight and I got them to camp this morning along with my BD and got myself to work. She was supposed to pick up SSs from camp today but DH just called asking if I can get them today because she can't make it there on time to pick them up. I don't mind doing these things for them, but some appreciation for all I do for them would be nice!
There are tons of other examples of her being unable or maybe just not willing to step up and be a mom, this example is just the one bothering me today! I guess its better that I get them ready and to camp in the morning anyway...she sends YSS to summer camp (where the temps are easily over 100 daily here!) in long sleeve shirts and pants. Poor kid is usually so overheated by the end of the day!
Ok vent and rambling over. Just needed to get all that out so that I don't explode at DH.
I guess that belongs more in
I guess that belongs more in the blog section....sorry.
Sorry if this is a stupid
Sorry if this is a stupid question - but what differentiates what belongs in a forum to what belongs in a blog?
Fullhouse... is it possible BM is taking advantage of your good nature here? Perhaps she's fully capable, just lazy and using you. I don't want to be overly cynical, but why would she step up if you're there to "save the day"?
L
Thanks for the response Liz.
Thanks for the response Liz. Yes I suppose that is possible. She is lazy I know that. She was lazy before I came into the picture..the only thing is that now its easy for me to "save the day" because my BD and SSs usually attend all the same programs. But it would be nice to have a break every now and then.
And I am not sure if there are any rules for what belongs in forums vs blogs...i just felt that was more a blog/venting than a question for a forum is all.
You couldn't pay me to feel
You couldn't pay me to feel sorry for the piece of shit loser.
Ours is barely functional and
Ours is barely functional and she used to have DH to do everything. Now she doesn't and her house, life and the kids are falling down around her ears. Feel sorry for her? No. She had a good husband and mistreated him. She's like a big infant. And it's time to grow up.
Hell no. She is incompetent
Hell no. She is incompetent and doesn't even realize it. She completely ignores SS11 for SD14. I think he is starting to get it now. She seems to think kids raise themselves and we just are there to support them. Hence no rules and free reign. I don't feel sorry for ours. Yours sounds like an irresponsible ditz. Stop doing so much for her. She doesn't have to step up, if everyone assists her.
Do I feel sorry for an almost
Do I feel sorry for an almost 40 year old crackwhore who looks like she's 50 but dresses like she's 16? 2 different color socks, a different color nail polish on each finger, hoodies, "gangsta" motif, and looks like she's a poster child for mental retardation?
Hell no. She put herself in this classification so no. She does not work, does not pay bills, lives off the state and any man she can sink her claws into, grows and sells marijuana, creates drama and lies so harsh that her words and accusations could send someone to jail, lives in a bedroom that looks like it exploded between Hot Topic and Zebras-R-Us, and screws anything that is available to get a hard on.
So again..no. This is the life she chose. Her children are soooooo paying the price for it too. Sad.
Do I feel sorry for skids BM
Do I feel sorry for skids BM that writes them letters telling them how much she misses them and she PRAYS for them every night....hell Motha F N NOOOO!!!!!
This lady chose NOT to follow the court order that specifically states that in order to see her kids she needs to go to a designated location for her 1 hour a week supervised visits.
Now do I feel sorry for skids because of their BM.....Yeah I do...
I don't feel sorry for my
I don't feel sorry for my SS-17s entirely incompetent SpermClan. I feel sorry for the kids but could not give a crap about the incompetent SpermIdiots.
In fact I get great joy out of gloating over their stupidity.
I know, a character flaw on my part but I do enjoy barring their idiot asses as often as they give me opportunity. Which is nearly constantly.
Best regards.
I feel horribly bad for my
I feel horribly bad for my kids BM. She left them 5 years ago and doesn't realize how much damage she has done to them that I am left to clean up. Some days I want to kill her, but mostly I just pity her to no end. She will never know how great these kids are because she can't get past her addiction. She only writes them when she wants to mess with their BD mind, which was often before we got engaged.
IF the BM is truly stupid, or
IF the BM is truly stupid, or incompetent or on drugs or lost and confused, I MAY feel sorry for her. The sad reality that I have realized in the past year as SM dealing with BM is that the BM in my case, and I am sure in so many of your cases, is simply an evil, calculating monster who only has HER best interest in mind. This is far worse than her simply being an incompetent fool don't you think? As much as I hate to admit it, BM is pretty smart...smart enough to convince her ex that if he doesn't do everything she says when she says it, that he is a bad father who doesn't love his son. He is the classic guilty DF, and she plays his weakness like a piano. She has created for herself a perfect life. She makes a schedule of which days and weekends we have SS (based of course on her social calander and various activities with boyfriend). She decides when we are allowed to take vacation. By manipulating her ex, she now has a free babysitter, chauffer, nurse for SS's sick days and of course a free bank card since the various bills mysteriously show up in the backpack on dad's nights. Of course on nights and weekends when she has nothing else to do, she can take the kid and truly think herself the perfect mother. Her kid buys it, at least for now, and I guess it is healthiest for him that he thinks of her as the perfect mother. I suspect someday he will see the truth. The part I still cannot get my mind around is that DF thinks her the perfect mother too, that she has only her child's best interest at heart. It makes me gag that he cannot see how he is being used. When I am not furious at him for being so blind, it is HIM I pity since he has this terrible weak guilty spot for his kid and is blind to reality. I am torn, not knowing whether to admire BM's cunning in creating this ideal life for herself or to hate her for her manipulations and abuse of others...anyway, if your SK's BM is simply an idiot, maybe there are even worse things.
No I don't feel sorry for
No I don't feel sorry for her. She's had chance after chance to redeem herself and show that she has even a shred of decency and each and every time she's chosen to be the bitch from hell. She uses her children in the most despicable ways imaginable. She cares for no one but herself.
Not even a little bit....not
Not even a little bit....not if she was on fire in an asbestos factory on the sun!!!!!!
Why feel sorry for a drug
Why feel sorry for a drug addict? Do you feel sorry for an alcoholic? These are self-imposed limitations... And if she does abuse substances, skids will blame you (SM) b.c. you took daddy away and BM was so depressed and couldn't deal with life. They (BF, BM & skids) always spin it to favor her (BM). Guess that's why that struck me as wrong, and while I'm at work she's partying so I'm very resentful of her lifestyle b.c. I was so selfless and law abiding as a single parent.
um, no I don't think so.
um, no I don't think so. That being said, I don't hate her or anything-just don't much like her. I might feel sorry for her if she expressed some sort of responsibility for anything that went wrong in her life or any sort of responsibility for her parenting decisions, but she doesnt do that at all-it is always someone elses (the wicked sm, perhaps)fault. It's hard to have sympathy for someone who is always blaming you for insane stuff. That being said, I pray for her at times that she will get her act together, be a great parent, and have a happy life.