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Another LIE from SS8

ivymlk's picture

6th lie I have counted in the past week. So last night I told my son who is 7 and SS8 to get books to read before bed. SS yelled at me that he didn't know what to read. I said first of all stop raising your voice at me and secondly, pick one. You have 100 books. He yelled at me again. So I picked 3 off of his shelf and put them on his bed and said there, pick one of those. DH comes into me about 20 minutes later and asks me If I threw books at SS. I said excuse me? SS said you threw books at him. No, I took three off his shelf, set them on his bed and told him to pick one. Well SS was upset and started crying and said that I grabbed a bunch of books off the shelf and threw them at him and I hurt him. WTF!!!!! I'm an adult, not a child! So rather then tell SS that this kind of "story telling" is not acceptable, he goes in for another 20 minutes to console SS.

I made dinner last night and when the boys sat down to eat SS says "thank you for dinner DADDY". DH said to thank "me" because she made it. SS said no, I am thanking you because your the one who worked to make money and buy it. EXCUSE ME!!! I work 9 hours a day, get home at night to make this selfish little *#$thead dinner and clean the house and this is the way he has been treating me? And what did DH do about it? NOTHING!! I'm done doing anything for that kid at all!!!

Sorry, needed a vent!!!

reeny511's picture

I get the same remarks too! "thank you daddy", "good night daddy" "I love you daddy" All said straight in my face, because she wants to make sure that she only loves and thanks daddy - not anyone else in MY house! Fine with me!!!!

skylarksms's picture

OMG - I cannot believe that little turd! I am a pretty easy going person but I think I would have smacked his little mouth if he would have said that in front of me!!

Me thinks this is a SM who seriously needs to disengage from this little shit.

Next thing you know, you will be getting false abuse charges against you.

giveitago's picture

Take that last comment by skylarksms serioulsy by the way! We are dealing with our girl here and way worse issues and SD actually called 911 on her DAD! Daddy was not giving in to her whims and demands. He was arrested and taken to jail. The one cop in our area who was not familiar with our girl happened to be on duty that night and believed her! She'd injured herself, she is a cutter too, and made a very convincing show of being hurt. Any of the rest of the cops would have hauled HER ass back to juvenile detention, or put a sanction on HER. The DA looked at the history of the girl and my DH's history and dropped all charges.
Still, the indignity of an arrest, jail time, loss of earnings and the inconvenience of a court date etc...

Please get counseling, I did. I learned which buttons to switch off and how to effectively deal with said brat, while keeping my cool. I give her instructions, she back talks me and I tell her it's not up for discussion, she has responsibilities, she's 17 now and in university.

ivymlk's picture

I'm so sick to my stomach because I am so upset! I am telling DH tonight that I will no longer watch SS when DH works on Saturdays. It has always been my one day off and to spend time with my son and since dirty BM can no longer take SS, someone else is going to have to. I already said that if he were mine, that mouth would have been smacked!!

skylarksms's picture

Ivymilk, I am sorry to bring this up when you are already down but what happens when your H decides to BELIEVE what SS says about you?

I think you need to take a strong stand to take care of you and yours.

If he takes his lies to school, a teacher could report to CPS and you could possibly lose your own son, even if just temporarily.

Either your H needs to FIRMLY put his foot down, or you need to never be alone with this child. For your own protection.

GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

I'm with Skylark, and I think you're right in not watching him anymore. It starts with this "her word against mine" crap, but the lies grow and grow, and pretty soon you're getting investigated for not making little Tommy's peanut butter and jelly sandwhich to his liking. I think not.

If this were my skid, he'd be getting real friendly with peanut butter and jelly, and anything else DH knew how to make, cause he'd have just eaten his last meal cooked by me, for sure!

ivymlk's picture

These are all things I plan on discussing with DH tonight actually. He doesn't back me up! EVER! And it's causing problems in our 7th month of marriage (been together over 3 years) and I am so depressed about all this! I couldn't put SS in a time out last night because it was bed time and he was already going to bed a half an hour early for lying to me and then laughing in my face earlier in the day.

I will not be home alone with this child anymore! That I can guarentee!!

For now, I am going to worry about me and my son!!

pseudo_stepmom's picture

Next time he yells at you, say "ok well if you're going to be rude, then you don't get a book tonight" and walk out of the room and turn the light off. i don't stand for being yelled at. completely uncalled for, especially by a brat that doesn't know his place...rrrrr

ivymlk's picture

Well I have an update. I spoke to DH last night about all of this. He knew when he saw my face that something was up and he sincerely seemed concerned and asked me to please talk to him and very calmly, I spit it all out. And then some. I made him aware at the very begning that I am aware with the issues with BM how it must effect SS and told him I can "imagine" why he gets the way that he does with me but I am not going to tolerate it in my home! I said I don't expect you to punish him, scream at him, spank his butt, all I expect from you is that when you witness this or I come to you if I feel I am not getting anywhere that he lets SS know he does not approve of that behaviour and/or actions. SS needs to know that. Well DH got defensive immediately. Started sticking up for SS like there was no tomorrow! I said look, I don't need to hear that you don't think that SS is doing it intentionally. He is! He isn't nice to anyone but you (DH). I said you asked me what was wrong because you see that I have been "distant" and you knew something was bothering me. I get afraid to talk to you sometimes because I don't know how you'll react but here's the reality, I am your wife. I have emotions. You many not always agree with them but clearly I am upset and I am opening up to you. Don't make me feel like I can't talk to you in the future when something is wrong for fear that you will get angry.

So then he goes on to say that I should talk to his SM. He said when he was younger that was how he was with her and if I need to talk to someone she would be the best person to talk to. My reply was that I don't care what she has to say. I love that woman I really do! And DH and she get along like parent and child now. My point is that maybe your father (DH's dad) let you treat his wife like garbage when you were a kid but that's not going to happen in my house. I am not going to tolerate it! Just because that was what was "normal" in your household growing up does not mean I have to accept it. He tried telling me I don't understand. I said this is what I understand. I had both of my parents together under one roof when I was growing up (they didn't divorce till I was 21). So, I never had a ste[parent to deal with however, it would have never EVER occured to me when I was a child to be rude to ANY adult for any reason what-so-ever. There is a way to stop this and I want it stopped now. Then he went on to complain that I don't go to any of SS's basketball games. I said for the 12 lessons of karate that my son went to and my son asked you (DH) to go watch him you never went one time. I am not trying to play that "game" with that comment but don't throw things like that in my face. Then I asked him if BM has ever been to one of SS's game and DH said no and I said oh, but she still gets plenty of respect. SOmeone who had SS taken from her home because she was wasted on drugs and alcohol and now can't even see him because she was arrested for child neglect. But she doesn't get SS's disrespect.

So, I told DH that I will never do another favor for SS until this stops again because why should I go out of my way. The next time it snows and there is a school closing, I will be going to work (providing my son is at his fathers). I will not be the one to cart him around at 7am before I have to go to work, DH can make arrangements for someone to pick SS up. I also told him that quite honestly while he works on Saturdays I would rather him find someone else to watch SS because I don't trust he won't lie about something terrible that I did. DH got really annoyed and said this is SS's house too and he isn't going to do that. So I said ok, consider this, I have plans Saturday. DH Says why can't you take him. I say because I am going to have brunch with a friend I haven't seen in 4 months and I would like to relax. Point blank, I'm not taking him and I'm not canceling my plans anymore.

See in the begining I was willing to do anything for the two of them. And I until I'm appreciated, I quit.

So the conversation ends. 10 minutes goes by and DH asks me whats for dinner. I said whatever you're making. So he made dinner last night. I don't plan on making it again tonight. My son is with his dad tonight so NOT gonna feel bad. And for the rest of the night DH was acting his usual self like the conversation never happened. So all I can do now is see how DH will handle it in the future as it comes. And if he doesn't do anything, he can go stay at his mothers for a while. They moved into my house. I'm not going anywhere Blum 3 I hope it works out the way I'm counting on it to.

And from now on when DH isn't around and SS treats me the way he does or lies, one by one his favorite games become mine until he sees I'm not messing around.

Ok, there's my update!

overit2's picture

AWESOME...good for you for standing up for yourself...that behavior is completely unnaceptable..and in YOUR home? And your dh doesn't seem to be bothered in the least....stick to your guns!~

mom23ms's picture

My soon to be SD11 would like to Jesus Christ himself. I don't trust her, I don't believe a word she says because it's one lie right on top of another lie on top of that.