Am I seeing what i think im seeing?
I am a grandmother of a 2 year girl. She is full of energy, a daredevil, and has a smile that will melt your heart.
My son and the BM are not together anymore, but me and the BM have a good relationship and get along quite well.
My son has been in another relationship and has recently had a new child. I get my grandaughter about twice a month overnight and we have a blast.Usually my son will drop my gd off. This weekend , however, i decided to go pick up my GD because i was also going to take the baby too. What happens while im there, is bugging me to no end!
We knock on the door and some guy in the hallway lets us in, oh you must be **** mom, here ill let you in!I walk in and see my 2r old GD playing by herself unsupervised in a bedroom. She sees me and my daughter and runs into my daughters arms and clings to my daughter like her life depended on it. My daughter, who is 14, even commented on GD clinging to her.
We find Step mother in another bedroom with baby, she is getting baby ready and putting her in the car seat.( my son is MIA at this time and dont know where hes at).
I ask Step mother wear GD coat is and am completely ignored, find GD snowboots and she puts them on. Still asking about coat still getting no answer! Finally son walks into apartment, Was putting car seats in car. Ok? Ask where GD coat is,finally got an answer! Step mother never said anything to me unless it was about new baby, son told me everything about GD. When i told my son i woulkd bring baby back in a few hours, he was like ok just let me know if you are keeping GD cause Stepmother wants to go out.
When we get to my house GD is not herself it seems, she is very jealous of the baby and will have nothing to do with it or you if you are holding the baby. So me a daughter take turns with each. After about 30minutes GD is self again and is all over place. Still will have nothing to do with baby, i am thinking this is normal, but unsure of to this extent.
When we dropped GD off next day she completely ognored her dad and went right into bedroom to play.
I guess my concern is that my GD is being ignored by step mother and possibly father.
Am i overreacting?
Well, she's a 2 year old with
Well, she's a 2 year old with a new baby. When I brought a new baby home, the 2 year old was SUPER JEALOUS. I think they are just busy, got a lot going on and are oblivious to how rude they are. Its a lot to have 2 little ones and it's nice you give them a break.
I'd recommend just enjoying the times you have with the little ones and not get too involved in how they are adjusting. It's not good to be known as the meddling grandparent. They'll take it wrong if you say something because new parents can be sensitive.
I think you need to talk to
I think you need to talk to your son. There could be a number of reasons that things were as you described. Please don't automatically assume that she is being ignored b/c a new baby takes a lit. Plus she is a new mom too. Also please don;t take her being anew mom away from her. See for the step mom this IS her first child. Please just talk to your son before you jump to anything.
I don't think you are
I don't think you are overreacting. This is how you feel. I think this is something you need to discuss with your son. It could be that SM's main focus is her own child. This is not something that you should lay at her door though. Your 2 year old GD is your's son's responsibility, Not SMs. If you are concerned with the way you perceive the child is being treated in your son's absence then you should discuss those concerns with your son. As I said, this is something that is 100% his responsibility. Go right to the source.
Well I'm not exactly sure why
Well I'm not exactly sure why you joined a Step-parenting website in order to seek advice on this question, as this doesn't really seem to be a step-parenting issue.
That being said, I would find that kind of behavior in a 2 year-old somewhat alarming as well. It is definitely something you should talk to your son about. However, as has been pointed out, there could be many factors influencing this behavior. From what I have seen, it's not unusual for a toddler to be jealous of smaller babies (when my FSS was 3 he used to yell about how much he hated babies and every time he saw a baby he went off this way; his mother babysits infants and he was just jealous and got over it, though it was startling to hear him sound so vehement about it). It is likely that this new baby is getting a lot of attention, and perhaps the 2 year-old really is getting ignored a bit. However, I don't think that her playing in a room by herself is all that distressing (unless it was an unsafe room with sharp objects or something); she's old enough to play with her toys without having to be constantly entertained/watched by adults. I'm sure, though, that it's a change from being at her mother's where she is the only child (unless this isn't the case?).
Your daughter-in-law not answering your questions is a little difficult to make out. I don't know what your relationship is like, but there are many explanations for her lack of response: she could have just been caught up in what she was doing with the baby, she could have been intentionally rude, or perhaps the 2 year-old has been causing some difficulties for her with the new baby and she was so frustrated that she didn't care to answer those questions. It's hard to say. If you guys have had a good relationship then I would talk to her--ask her how she's handling the baby, etc. and maybe you can get a better idea of where her mind is. If you don't have a strong relationship, then just stick to talking to your son. Like Totalybogus said, the 2 year-old is really more of his responsibility, not the SM's.
Ok, first question...what is
Ok, first question...what is the custody arrangement for the 2yr old? Does she live with her BM or w/your son? How much visitation? Trying to get a accurate picture before I answer more.