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10 yr old step daughter is treating her mom like crap

Deerhunter90's picture

My wife and i are going through a custody battle with the kids dad. Everything started out fine all 3 kids wanted to live with us 2 boys and 1 girl the girl being the oldest at 10. Now thier father has been showing my stepdaughter everything about the case trying to make my wife look like a horrible person. Since then she has been treating my wife like shes a horrible mother, which she isnt my wife never had her mom in the picture growing up and dispite that i think shes an amazing mother. But now my wife is at her wits end just wanting to tell her to just live with her dad. Even tho thats not whats best for her. Right now the custody is 50/50 its so hard on the kids. Thier dad isnt even the one that takes care of themnits usually his girlfriend. I just need some advice on what i can do to help my wife and step daughter get back to the good relationship they had. As a step parent its so hard to sit back and see this happening i love them all so much it hurts to see it.

Old sm's picture

you can't control what dad says to her. you can't fix other peoples relationships either.  all you can do is support your wife while she goes through this. 

quite frankly it may not be a bad idea to have her live with him. Kids think the grass is greener with the other parent; living with him may show her it's not the case. Plus, it would decrease the conflict in your home. Of course, living with dad may make her worse but it sounds like that is already happening. If she's believing what he tells her about her mother, I think you've already lost the battle.    she sounds like a daddy's girl and that is hard to fight. I'd be willing to bet that shes no angel for the girlfriend either. 

beebeel's picture

You can't fix their relationship. If everything is 50/50, why is there a custody battle? Did mom file for full custody? Why? Seems like it's opened a can of worms.