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Why?? Another confused blog...

non_mom23's picture

Submitted by non_mom23 on Fri, 04/17/2009 - 6:00am

I've been blogging a lot lately b/c I feel that my life is turned completely upside-down. SD8 has been throwing an attitude toward me for a little while now, since she started seeing the socio again. I do everything for that girl and I get no appreciation. My H also gives me no appreciation. I do feel like I'm blogging about the same thing over and over but I do want to hope that things will get better.

I got really upset with the way SD has been treating me and I told H to talk to her about it. So last night I come home from class and she ignores me completely and goes upstairs to her room. H follows, I ask him where he's going and he says upstairs to hang out w/SD. I get so pissed off b/c they always go away from me to hang out and H always ignores me!!! Well I freak out again that SD has been acting this way. So before her bedtime she comes into the bathroom and whispers I'm sorry. I know that H just made her do it and she doesn't really care. I say it's fine and walk away from her. Well apparently she was crying b/c I did that. To be honest I don't care, H was of course pissed but I'm so hurt that I don't care how she feels. If you read my Easter blog then you know how cruel and irresponsible he can be but he's making me look like the devil.

Our relationship sucks and so does the one with SD. Oh man, I feel so hopeless. Why can't things be back to normal when SD wasn't involved w/ socio???? Resentment is a very powerful thing!!

Comments

doglover1's picture

Submitted by doglover1 on Fri, 04/17/2009 - 7:02am

I know how you feel. My H has an daughter 9. Recently we won full custody. BM is a selfish witch, hasnt seen her daughter in weeks, or talked to her either. So I rarely get a break. ALthough i get along with my sd9 pretty well, its still very hard for me. I also have no children and was single prior to taking on this life. So I get the need for a break also. What i do is create my own time alone with friends, family , and work. This helps. As far as having alone time with my H, that dosnt happen alot. Maybe we get a sitter now and then.

When we do get alone time, I really try to make it good, by not bringing up sd crap. Otherwise that time together is wasted.

I read some of your other blogs and it sounds like you are so unhappy most of the time. I feel so bad for you. Have you considered counseling? Good luck to you nonmom

kaffonseca's picture

Submitted by kaffonseca on Fri, 04/17/2009 - 1:24pm

just reading this I feel so bad for you and your situation....my heart goes out to you..that sounds horrible to be stressed to even walk into your own home. Your H should not have just followed SD upstairs but spent time with you!

HUGS!

"He grew up in my heart, not my belly"

now4teens's picture

Submitted by now4teens on Fri, 04/17/2009 - 1:54pm

You sound like you would be doing much better with the whole situation if your DH would just support you more. He's married to YOU, after all, NOT his child. (I know- a common theme on these boards)

I feel badly that you have to go through this. Did you ever consider just, oh I don't know, getting quietly in the car and taking a LONG DRIVE, each and every time he does something like this?

I know it sounds childish and a little passive-aggressive, but sometimes you just have to make a gesture like this for men to "get the point".

Finally, after doing this for 4 or 5 times, quietly, without making a fuss, they'll say, "Gee honey, is something WRONG?"

"Of course things worked out nicely for Carol Brady...she had a live-in maid and Mike's first wife was DEAD!"

thebettermom's picture

Submitted by thebettermom on Fri, 04/17/2009 - 2:20pm

My BF does the same thing. It hasn't happened in a while but I used to get COMPLETELY ignored by FSD10. I would say hello when she would come over and she would say nothing. One time, I was laying on the couch in the living room and I heard BF and FSD come in, he had just picked her up. And instead of coming into the living room to say hello, etc. the two of them just went into her room and I could hear them talking and laughing and all that. I just sat in the living room and cried. Then I left to go hang out with some friends. I wasn't going to sit in my own home and feel like an outsider. Now, I pretty much do my own thing. I keep busy when she is here, and I stopped playing the mother role. He can make sure she showers and does her homework, etc. Or not. I don't care either way now. Because all that caring just got me upset in the end.