When did he start to expect these things?
I am really angry. DH had a dr appt this am leaving me home alone with sd3 and bs1. This is not the first time he's had an appt or had to go to work and I have watched sd3 and bs1. So it's wierd as to where this is coming from. Anyway he calls me on his way home from the appt and tells me that I better be making sure sd3 has been using the toilet (we are training her). This is odd to me because I am the ONLY one even when he is here that makes sure she goes. We got on the topic of bathing her and he said "maybe you should sit with me while I bathe her so you can see how I do it." I have a bd8 that I have bathed many times and DH has NEVER bathed bs1 ever. I have given sd3 showers and now all of a sudden it's not good enough, according to him. So I told him that's it if I can't bathe your princess properly then you do it. All the time. If you can't cause you have to work then I guess she will stink. As a matter of fact it is not my responsibility to do ANYTHING for his kids. Everything I do is to help him out. I told him I am done. I will make sure my bios are taken care of and he can deal with his kids.
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I think they think we are
I think they think we are maids or something. I used to do my skids laundry to be helpful. Not any more. I let it pile and pile and pile until they have NO clothes to wear and he has to do it. It will then stay down in the laundry room for days... a day in the washer, couple days in the dryer... a day or so in the laundry basket.
I'm done. Won't do it anymore.
not my kids, not my problem.
so YES, I understand
Maybe...
BM was complaining to him about the way you bathe her daughter, and he believed her and instead of telling you what she said, he wants to "correct" it himself... which is BullS. of course...
I am glad, My husband supports me in EVERYTHING I do for his daughter, eventhough BM has her own opinions, and also, he trusts me a lot, especially because it's about "girl's care" because he assumes that I, by nature, must be better than him at it... and he is... welll, Damn RIGHT... lol
He doesn't think you are capable of bathing a 3 yr old?
"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere
How does this man think you've gotten thru life? I mean, c'mon. He's being ridiculous. No wonder you're P.O.'d.
Did you ask him why he thinks he knows so much more? After all, isn't he the one basically saying HE married a fruit loop?
AAARRRGGGHHHH!
My take on this
I do not know your husband. But this sounds to me like HE is the one who does not know how to do it, and chooses this patronizing way of asking you to show him. Kind of like some chauvinist patriarchal viewpoint maybe? Please don't take offense just thinking this sounds like some men I have known.
Now I am not a mom but I personally feel weird about giving him this responsibility and I hate to say it but because he is the opposite sex. I think SD should learn how to bathe herself and he does not need to concern himself on that. If she needs help washing her hair, etc. someone could help, but otherwise I think let her do it.
But remember I have no birth children! but I don't remember anyone 'giving' me a bath, it was kind of like here is the bath, get in and maybe show her where and how to soap but let her do it.
"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin
Three year olds still need
Three year olds still need to be given a bath, and I don't think at that age it matters which parent does it. My 5 soon to be 6 year old has just started being able to wash his own hair correctly. He is a boy and I have been the one to bathe him his whole life.
"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"
Well see I just don't know
I bow to experience on this! as I was very relieved to get a SD that was already 8 (I am not really the baby type, never been around them much).
I still think he is the one who doesn't know how to do it! LOL
"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin
I don't know if it has to do
I don't know if it has to do with BM or not. She has been with us for almost 3 weeks now so it's not like she has even senn BM for awhile. Plus, DH usually tells me when he has a conversation with BM and he has not said anything about talking to her. Not saying it couldn't have happened......but I don't know what to think of it. But I do know that if he feels I can not take care of his children properly, I just won't.