1st blog...confused!!!

1st I'm happy to have found this site, I always and still kind of do feel alone when it comes to my situation. My husband, MG, and I have been married for 2 yrs, he has an 8 y/o, AG, from a previous "fling" you could call it. AG doesn't have much contact with her mother, a.k.a. the Socio. AG lives with us full-time. I'm basically the "mother" figure in her life and this is really taking a toll on me. I don't have any children myself and this is a hard role for me to fill.
AG has recently been copping extreme attitude, forgetting, not listening etc. especially with me. She only sees the Socio once a week for a few hours but wants to see her more. Socio is completely off her rocker, abusive (physically and emotionally), isn't stable, I could go on for hours. AG just several months ago would call crying after an hour alone with Socio to come home.
Well the Socio just served papers to my husband requesting more visitation rights if not full custody. She has never paid child support and AG doesn't benefit at all from Socio's contact with her at all. AG sees a counselor but I feel sometimes that it doesn't help.I pray that MG will request to take away visitation all together but I'm worried that AG will lash out about this. Considering she wants to see her more. We don't want her subjected to this abuse any longer. I get such anxiety about even hearing the Socio's name and when she get's AG for a couple hours I'm a basket case. I need help coping!! Before this consumes my life!

non_mom23's blog
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Welcome...

This site has been a life saver for me and I have made such wonderful friends here, both cyber and in real flesh! We all come here for advice, to give advice and to just plain b*tch!!

I understand your frustrations, they are real and validated. I know why your a basketcase when Sd sees bm. The underlying factor is that you have put so much of yourself in to sd life and you probably feel like in those few hours bm has the power to undermine you. Your right. It can happen just the same. I think you are probably taking it too personally also because of the attitude sd is giving. For just a moment think about it this way......I'm 8 yo and finally my mother is taking interest in me...I like this attention, so I am going to milk it for all it's worth.

Now think this way...I'm the socio bm, and I need my daughter's love...so I'll be her friend and she will want to live with me and then I'll get child support so now I can finally be happy.

Now...your the "mother" figure as you call it, I just plain call you her mother, because I believe you love her very much. If you didn't, you wouldn't have posted so caring. Keep doing what your doing. When she gets out if line, don't treat her any different than you normally do. She needs consistancy, not a friend.

I don't try to tell folks what to do here most is the time....but I will tell you to be yourself. Feel what you feel and be able to communicate with your hubby. This is going to be your greatest asset. Give some, take some...but understand this sd wants her mother to be a part her life and if that means you get to enjoy a glass of wine while they visit..just let it be. I promise that she can't ruin yalls relationship in an hour or two-I promise.

Again, welcome to the site...I know you will enjoy us!

Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!

God bless you I totally

God bless you I totally understand, I am almost in the same boat my DH has placement so my SS sees his BM on wed and every other weekend, but I hate it because she is crazy and tries to posion my SS against me who is 4 but will come home and tell me his mommy hates me and that I should not have married his daddy, so I try to breathe and then vent on this site, so please come here a lot I would love to chat!!!