My letter to BM
BM,
I hate you. I hate your guts. I think you are disgusting for how you treat your children.
When you had custody you said some really nasty & untrue things to the SDs about DH and me. You tried to alienate them from their dad and were successful for a long time. You told your children to say mean things when I miscarried behind my back.
You pay ZERO attention to your kids yet tell my DH I have no right to have any say in their lives. Even if you were the most loving, attentive mother in the world, I would still maintain that yes, I do have a right to have a say in your kids lives. At least as far as stuff that affects my house goes. If my DH is paying for their medical care, schooling, and extracurricular activities, I have a right to voice my opinion to him about those things. He ends up making the final decision because ever since you lost custody of your two little pawns you have become very uninvolved in their lives.
Your kids love you so much. WHY do you do this to them, you loser? Do you know how many tears your kids have shed over you? Do you know how often they've cried themselves to sleep over you? I DO!!! Because DH and I are the ones they turn to when they need to be comforted. You are an evil, fat pig. I don't understand why any parents would subsidize their fat a** of a daughter who tried to keep their grandchildren from their father, badmouthed the father to their grandchildren, and has little involvement in their grandchildren's lives. If I did ANY of the above things my reach out to my children's father, and support him in his bid for custody. And, they'd make me get up off my a** and work and make sure every cent I made went to support my children.
Grow up, BM.
From,
Your kids SM and main caretaker
- Anon2009's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Oh boy
did you send her this? Or is this what you would like to do?
Nope, I just typed it here
to get it off my chest and it feels soooo good!!!
I wish I could,
but I don't want to give her ammunition to use against me.
great letter...
It's smart just to write that all out to get off your chest how you feel. If there is such a thing called "healthy venting".....this would be it! "We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand."~ Randy Pausch
I was thinking about doing the same thing
BUT I WILL SEND IT, I have had it with keeping my mouth shut.
I might not accomplish a damn thing but I'LL FEEL BETTER?????
His CS comes out of my checkbook to, his health insurance comes out
of MY paycheck, I feel I have every right in that kids life???
Anon
I agree, this is a healthy way to vent and it is big of you to release it so that your family can move forward. Sometimes we get stuck in the BM rut when there is so much poison that we reside in bitter negativity without even knowing it. Getting it out, whether you send it or not is the most important thing. It will help you focus on what IS important and though you wish things were better with BM for the Skids sake, you can't make it so. Chel said it best in her quote, "'We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.'~Randy Pausch"
I too wrote a letter to BM. It started out at 10 pages, but I was able to narrow it down to 7. It was not from a place of anger because I wanted her to "digest" what I was saying. It was from a place of caring about Skids. It was for all of the injustices and wrongs heaped on me and my family at the hands of BM. But more than anything is was to release a lot of the negativity that I was holding on to because BM had wronged me. So, I did release it and let it go, but more importantly I FORGAVE her. Not that she deserved it, but because "I" did. I deserved better for my life than stewing over this cruel person. The ah-ha moment came to me one day after BM had once again done something hateful towards me for the 1,000,000th time. THere I was hurt and angry and ready to take on the world because of something she did. My BD said to me after I was grumpy with her, "Ma, I'm not the one who...I'm on your side." That from a 17 year old kid. So, I was able to take a step back and see that it was much bigger than that or me. Here I was thinking of ways to get her back, but my negative attitude that flowed from BMs negative and poison attitude was now doing the very thing that I did not want. It was intefering with my relationships in my home.
I set out and apologized to everyone. I wrote that letter and I mailed it. BM surprised me, she brought me some New-Age CD by Donald Neale Walsh (I think that is his name. The guy that did 'Conversations with God.'). So I took that as a peace offering. NOT. It only lasted a week and she was back at it. THe difference this time was in that I did not allow her poison to affect me. I did not internalize her garbage. It made a big difference in my relationships within my family unit to include DH, Skids and BD. BM didn't change one bit, but I did.
I found out recently that BM shared that letter with the skids. Even better is that I found out that she only shared "pieces" of the letter with the skids when I called out their inappropriate behavior. She failed to share when I called out hers. So I "inadvertently" left a copy of the letter lying around where the kids might see it. Curiosity gets them every time. THey read the letter and saw that BM did not share everything with them. It actually changed their perspective on some things. I did not do it to change their relationship with their mother though. I did it to make sure they understood that I was not the enemy. That I had tried and tried and tried in vain to work with their mother and got nothing in return. Amazingly, it helped quite a bit.
So, vent on and if you need to actually send one to get it out of your system. Do so, but don't come from attack mode. Make it as concerns for the kids minus the venom, although I like your venom.
People who get on HIGH Horses will find the fall to be painful. ~ME :->